MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I have so much regret about our relationship and hes so angry at me. hes out there partying hanging out with friends and happy and I'm at home miserable. I feel so lonely and bad. I hate this.
0hpenelope Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I have so much regret about our relationship and hes so angry at me. hes out there partying hanging out with friends and happy and I'm at home miserable. I feel so lonely and bad. I hate this. How do you know he's partying hanging out with friends and happy?
Author MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 well I know hes partying and hanging out with friends and I assume hes happy cause he seems happy everyone says hes happy
spiderowl Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I think we need more info. or can't possibly answer. Who instigated this split? Was anyone at fault? What has happened since?
D-Lish Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Hi, sorry you are going through this. What happened exactly? Did you start a thread about it?
0hpenelope Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 (edited) I stepped out for a bit to hang out with a really good friend of mine and now that I'm home, I can finally come back to your post, OP. well I know hes partying and hanging out with friends Basic behaviors of people involve seeking the company of others. Perhaps this is his way of 'distracting' himself from something that, if he sincerely cared about you and has a heart, makes him sad. Or he just wants to party because he feels like it. and I assume hes happy cause he seems happy everyone says hes happy There's too much chatter here. Just because third parties say he's happy doesn't mean he really is. Perhaps he is, perhaps he's just lying to himself as a distraction from the loneliness, the hurt, whatever he's feeling. The first things I did when I was left behind by my ex? I dated and was upfront to the guys that I wasn't looking for anything serious as I just got out of a relationship; they didn't mind. I hung out with friends. For all intents and purposes, my projection was I was fine and moving on. Inside, I was a mess and missed him a lot. I went to see my therapist every week and worked out what was going on with me. I sobbed in that tiny office and she listened to me, gave me guidance. I looked for self-help articles, read as much as I could, and was with my friends as much as I could be with them. I shared this to let you know that whatever we choose to project is what people will see. No one really knows what's going on with your ex, not even his closest friend(s) and sometimes, even your ex himself. Never assume. We lie to ourselves all the time and your ex is not above that. We only know what we're told and what we observe and beyond that? We do not know much, really. This is my reason for telling people "Don't ask, don't seek information about your ex." It's... an incredible waste of time for the purpose of healing. Though I understand that doing so is part of the individual's healing process; no two healing processes are the same, though there are similarities. You get caught up in the chatter of he said/she said/I heard/I saw... Too much going on! There's only one focus: you. Bring your attention around to you and your healing. I have so much regret about our relationship and hes so angry at me. hes out there partying hanging out with friends and happy and I'm at home miserable. I feel so lonely and bad. I hate this. Forgive yourself for the regrets in the relationship. Distance from him will help cease his anger towards you. Also, if he continues to be angry at you, he's only hurting himself. Try to not take his anger personally. He's in his own stage of healing and it's not right/wrong. If he's out there partying and being with friends and projects happiness, it doesn't mean he's really happy. Someone who's angry at something or someone is not a happy person. Feeling bad is part of all of this healing and you'll eventually be more proactive at getting yourself out of that dark spot. Are you doing good things for yourself? What did you do today to make yourself feel good? Even if you had to force yourself, what did you do? Edited May 7, 2011 by 0hpenelope
nana841121 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Cry, cry your heart out. it's ok. Don't suppress your feeling. just make sure do not let him know about your weakness. protect your dignity.
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