LostInTurn Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 it wasn't right away he started talking about kids... about 5 months into it.. but he dumped me and asked me if i would have his kids... i told him "its not fair we love and miss each other, but can't be together" and he told me "life isn't a walk in the park" whats wrong w me??? why am i so upset over this guy??? hes always drinking... its not fair how do i get ove him??? i just can't do it? why is he doing this to me???? No matter what feelings you have for him now, they will go away and you will find yourself much better off in the future. This man is a moron for saying those things to you and how he's acting is childish and foolish. He should be embarrassed! There's nothing wrong with you, you're acting in response to feelings. This is normal, but you really should try and see what's really occurring here. I know it's difficult, but the sooner you do, they better it will be. Also, WHY ON EARTH would you even entertain having someone in your life who breaks up with you and then asks you to have his kids? RED FLAG! This alone, is enough reason to understand he's a space cadet and be happy you can cruise down normalcy highway without him in the passenger seat and his ultra baggage in the trunk.
Graceful Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 it wasn't right away he started talking about kids... about 5 months into it.. but he dumped me and asked me if i would have his kids... i told him "its not fair we love and miss each other, but can't be together" and he told me "life isn't a walk in the park" whats wrong w me??? why am i so upset over this guy??? hes always drinking... its not fair how do i get ove him??? i just can't do it? why is he doing this to me???? He's not doing anything to you; you're doing this to yourself by refusing to see whats right in front of your face. Listen up. When you met Mr. Come Here Go Away, you were very vulnerable, and you had the proverbial target on your back. He could see it a mile away, and that's what attracted him to you. He came on strong and you fell for him, so he lured you in and had you just where he wanted you. Every time he looked at you , it was an ego boost, it was like he was looking in the mirror looking into your eyes, you made him feel so good. Then he found out you lied about yourself and he had every right to be upset, but he began to act like a nutter, didn't he? He had already cooled off, which is what these people do once they have you lured in, but to add insult to injury you lied to him, and that was not part of his plan, so he flipped out. Totally flipped. That's when all the craziness really started, right? It wasn't bad enough that he was talking about marrying you, and this business with having babies (that alone should have told you he's got issues). So now he's in a panic because he liked the way YOU MADE HIM FEEL. He's got arrested development, it's like he's a kid in a 40-year old man's body. I mean, do you think he's acting like a mature adult? I certainly hope this is not your rendition of mature, stable, rational behavior. Let me give you a clue: It's not normal. Okay, big enough clue? So if you are reacting to him as though he is normal, you're not going to get anywhere. You have to react to him for who he is, which is a damaged, irrational, controlling, narcissistic, manipulative, demeaning, and self-serving person. When you see him for who he is, and you respond to him with the understanding that he is very damaged, you will feel that you have the ability to walk away. But if you try to respond to him as though he is normal, you will continue to torture yourself unnecessarily. Do you see what I mean? So start by seeing that he isn't doing anything to you, because he's not. You have the power and now you have to get the determination to refuse to allow him to control you, your feelings, and your life. He's twisted. And he's got you all twisted up along with him. So stop blaming him and take some control here. This is very disturbing, of course it is, but you've only known him a few months, and look at how he's got you tied up in knots. Think about long term with this kook. Seriously. Scary, isn't it?
rayne05us Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 He's telling you all this so you can't move on....meanwhile he's probably doing what ever TF he wants and you're in shambles. So what he cried. Even a lion can shed tears, but it won't think twice before it rips you to shreds. Work on yourself because YOU want to, not to please this guy who doesn't know how to bite his tongue after 40 years. You also want someone whos's understanding...so if he can accept you made a mistake early on then...move on....Just move on...if he wants you back, he'll come back around.
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