Gagirl Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 My husband had an affair on me. I found out by reading his text messages and when he went to visit her one weekend. He told me it was a friendship that got carried away and that she pursured him. He told me she was gone and he would never have anything to do with her again. He said the affair only lasted for the amount of time that I had the phone records for. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and started working on my marriage. Today, I found out a totally different story. In February, I got sick and literary almost died. The doctor gave me the wrong diagnosis and sent me home. I should have had surgery immediately. I found out that when I was in the hospital that my husband called the OW and told her that "he was sorry for not calling or texting her all day because he was dealing with me". I also found out that the affair lasted for 14 months and that is was he that pursured her. He called her and texted all the time. I guess I kind of missed that when I looked at the phone records the first time around. It was also my understanding that they spent the night together when he was supposed to be at reserve training. They usually met once a month in different cities through the Southeast and went to football games, historic places and other places. I was told that he spoke very badly about me. He was saying that I was mean, cut him off and was constantly yelling and beratting him. Also said that my mother hated him and wouldn't help us with the kids. I am not sure what to do now that I know all this. I can't believe he would do this to me and don't understand why he did all this.
Author Gagirl Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 I forgot to tell you that he met her on Ashley Madison and that he had been on that site for 6 months before he met her.
imagine Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Since your husband visited Ashley Madison, he was looking for an affair. That is, he was a cheat before he cheated. I presume that he felt trapped in his marriage and it is too inconvenient to divorce. If you are serious about your marriage, you may want to check out the articles at marriagebuilders.com. Do not tell him about the site until you have learned enough yourself. Right now, expose his activities to all relevent folk that will help. Especially OWH. He will be a great help to you.
Summer Breeze Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 My husband had an affair on me. I found out by reading his text messages and when he went to visit her one weekend. He told me it was a friendship that got carried away and that she pursured him. He told me she was gone and he would never have anything to do with her again. He said the affair only lasted for the amount of time that I had the phone records for. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and started working on my marriage. Today, I found out a totally different story. In February, I got sick and literary almost died. The doctor gave me the wrong diagnosis and sent me home. I should have had surgery immediately. I found out that when I was in the hospital that my husband called the OW and told her that "he was sorry for not calling or texting her all day because he was dealing with me". I also found out that the affair lasted for 14 months and that is was he that pursured her. He called her and texted all the time. I guess I kind of missed that when I looked at the phone records the first time around. It was also my understanding that they spent the night together when he was supposed to be at reserve training. They usually met once a month in different cities through the Southeast and went to football games, historic places and other places. I was told that he spoke very badly about me. He was saying that I was mean, cut him off and was constantly yelling and beratting him. Also said that my mother hated him and wouldn't help us with the kids. I am not sure what to do now that I know all this. I can't believe he would do this to me and don't understand why he did all this. When I found out my xH cheated I knew I couldn't deal with any of the things you listed. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to trust him again and that the disrespect he showed me couldn't be fixed. I know a lot of other people have succeeded and I enjoy reading their stories and sometimes wonder if I ditched him too faxt but as I read on and my own life experiences since tell me I was spot on for me. We all have limits. I couldn't deal with what you're up against but Spark and Silktricks have repaired and done it admirably. Seek their help. Also Seren and I believe PhoenixRise. Great and wise people who not just survived but thrived. Good luck to you hon.
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