giuliano-3 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Writing this in hopes it will be the last time I tell our story. We'd been together for 14 months, living together for almost all of that time. Travelled, taken care of my sick mom, done a lot of things and experienced more in a year than some would over a decade. People who met us thought we'd been together for a very long time. We clicked, met people easily, had fun. I loved her more than any person I've ever known. A distant relative of hers who lived in London died. Her mom sent her a ticket to join her overseas for a week and go to the services/meet up with old relatives. Before she left she asked if it was cool if she maybe stayed an extra week after her mom went home. I said "of course." She called a couple times that first week, we wrote a few FB messages back and forth. I wasn't cool with the lack of info she gave me. The last time she called from London she sounded distant and I knew something was wrong. The last FB message I got from her said how much she loved me and wished I was there with her. Then nothing. After a few days of hearing nothing (this is approx. 10 days into her trip) I called her mom up north and asked if she was still alive. Her mom was furious at her for not calling me or keeping me informed in any way of what she was up to. Her mom said she'd make her call me. This never happened. Her mom and I started talking once or twice a week, I decided to send all of her belongings up north instead of trashing them. Eventually her mom let me know that she had been seeing/living with another man over there. Her mom gave me her phone # and after a week of deliberation I decided to call. The conversation went like this - "hello," "hello," "hello?" "hey there" "oh hey, hold on a sec" "click" dialtone. When I tried to call the number back it wouldn't go through. So she blocked my number. She overstayed her visa, and after a jaunt to France with her new man got pinched by the English authorities, spent a night in deportation jail then got sent back to the USA. She, of course, went running back to her mom up north - some 1,500 miles away from me. Eventually she re-friended me on FB, wrote a few messages then finally called. 6 months of "I feel terrible, I still love you, blah blah blah" conversations stringing me along so in case it didn't work out LD with her new guy overseas she could come running back to me. Well, she ends up going with him to SE Asia (at his expense of course) and now its officially over between us I think/hope. I'm sick to my stomach today. I hate her, and hope I can let go of all these negative emotions eventually. She is 10 years younger than I am, so maybe this had to do with a lot of everything. But her new guy is exactly my age. And she is staying true to him LD, despite having cheated on me after only 5 days apart. I know she is only 22, has a lot to learn about life and love - but for some reason that's not helping me cope. I hope karma gets her. I have said over and over I wish her nothing but the best but that is a lie. I hope to run into her at some point in the future so she can come face to face with those feelings again. She did all this to me as my mom is dying of cancer, not exactly helping my ability to cope with that big event - which should take precedence over everything else in my life. But her face still sits in my memory, haunting me and taunting me. Never letting go. I hate her.
Moutonrose Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I must say...reading your story made me think alot about what happened to me!!!! see in 2009 my ex bf went to france for a work term and near the end of his 3 months there he started getting distant and contacting me less...then for 3 days I had absolutly noooo news from him. I immediatly panicked! then he finaly contacted me and all was well....he came back home, I met him at the airport and then he started cheating on me when he got back and annonced it to me in january 2010....of course that was just the tip of the iceberg because we've been broken up for 2 months now and a week after I left our home, my job and everything I find out he cheated on me while he was in france, and with many girls when he came home....sickend me so much...plus told me that he had been faking to love for more than 2 years!!!! I can imagine the pain and stess you must of felt when she stopped contacting you and when her mother told you she was with another guy..... I understand your pain...and i'm here for ya
Moutonrose Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 it's also normal that you want to wish her hell....I feel the same way each day. I want my ex to get a taste of his own medicine! it's normal...but one day you will not care where she goes, or who she is whit because you will have gotten your life back on track.
Author giuliano-3 Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Thanks, reading that it makes me realize how fortunate I was to not let her come back into my life physically after what she did. I would have taken her back in a heartbeat, but didn't let on that was the case. I knew deep down I couldn't forgive her. We would have gotten back together and it wouldn't have been good. It just couldn't be the same again. It was bad enough to keep phone lines open for 6 months after everything happened, to keep that door open just a crack in case she wanted to come back into my life as my girlfriend. I just wasn't going to fight for it. I wanted her to do that. I'm glad now that she didn't. Its getting time for this guy to move on permanently.
Moutonrose Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 honestly...after someone cheats its really really hard to build back that trust....really really hard...it hurts more to forgive them than to actually just forget about them and move on...and its true when they say that if they do it once they will do it again. my ex did it again and again! the main thing is that you learned from this experience....I am learning a whole lot more each day ever since he broke up with me...learned how much he was an a hole!!!! if you read my post about my story you will understand what I mean I hope you will feel better we are all here to help and listen!
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