ZebraPants Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Hi All, I'm having some issues with my boyfriend of 11 months. We have been living together for about 2 months and we had, what I thought was a solid foundation. But after a convo with him yesterday, found out he has what he calls "mixed feelings" about me. I asked him what he meant by that. About 4 months ago we broke up for a period of a few weeks, and he still has some issues regarding that, even though he was the one that initiated the the break up. He says the mixed feelings he has are having to do with the future where we are concerned. He said right now he still feels we are getting to know one another and I pretty much took that as he doesn't know if I'm the "one". While I know living together isn't an engagement for marriage, I really thought it solidified the long term. But he still sees this as learning more about me. He is very safe guarded about his feelings. While I know he cares for me, I don't think "love" is there for him...yet. He doesn't even know. He has done a lot for me and I thought his actions showed me he loved me, so I wasn't too hung up on the words "I love you". I guess I was wrong. This conversation didn't end well. It ended in an argument, with me crying and telling him I think I need to move out. Maybe that was a little irrational of me but I was hurt. He told me he didn't understand why I felt I needed to move. He doesn't understand that I think his feelings should be a little more solid than they are. He than got defensive and told me I was acting like a baby. Now we are barely on speaking terms. He left for work today and barely said a word to me. I really need some help.
heartshaped Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It was too soon to move in. The two of you broke up four months ago for a few weeks and then within two months of getting back together you moved in together. I agree with you that you should move out, at least, until this man is clear on his feelings for you. I wouldn't be living with someone who has 'mixed feelings' about me and I'm sure you know you shouldn't be either.
Author ZebraPants Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 It was too soon to move in. The two of you broke up four months ago for a few weeks and then within two months of getting back together you moved in together. I agree with you that you should move out, at least, until this man is clear on his feelings for you. I wouldn't be living with someone who has 'mixed feelings' about me and I'm sure you know you shouldn't be either. I do have a good idea I shouldn't but he doesn't get that.
Art_Critic Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It was too soon to move in. The two of you broke up four months ago for a few weeks and then within two months of getting back together you moved in together. I agree with you that you should move out, at least, until this man is clear on his feelings for you. I wouldn't be living with someone who has 'mixed feelings' about me and I'm sure you know you shouldn't be either. I agree...
Wehtiko Posted May 17, 2011 Posted May 17, 2011 I agree that it was too soon to move in. Everyone's free in life to do what they want... just cause no unnecessary harm to anyone (yourself as well). So if you have no choice but to hurt him (or yourself) by breaking up, then do it clean and quick. If this is how you're feeling now, do you really think it's going to change? Obviously I don't know your full story, but even if I did (or if you were my daughter), I would tell you to find your own place and live on your own. When you find the right person, you have the rest of your life to be with him; enjoy the single life while you have it. Because even with the right man in your life, you will very probably miss your single life occasionally. If he's really the right man for you, he'll understand and let go a bit.
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