love is hard

[kirasanto]

my name is jason me and ex broke up last month on the 23,we been going out for 2 years and 2 months,we were doing fine since we went out on 09 and it was our senior year. after i came back form bootcamp i change a little bit,like im not myself,she had a hard time dealing with me on that,after i went back from training again,i change and became myself a little more,but after all of that we start fighting a lot and she cuts herself and cried.and i get mad when she cuts herself since i dont like it,but due time i start learning to accept it and i cant do stuff about it,i kissed it to make her feel better,every fight we had was my fault and we kept braking up but it doesnt last for a day cuz she either talk to me or i talk to her apologizing. shes bi and she liked a lot of girl but it didnt bother me then she liked my bro ex cuz shes bi too,but i told her to stop and she did then 2 weeks ago she started talking to this girl and shes a lesbian,she look like a guy. i told her they can hang out and stuff,but i got this feeling that my heart is beating fast and it never happend before,i told her to stop talking to her and stop hanging out but she didnt listen,so on that night she ignored me cuz i was mad and she let the girl took her phone and it got me more mad when she let the girl sleep over there and they slept together. the next day i went to her and asked her why and she said idk,i asked her why cant you stop talking to her and she said idk. i was mad when i went to her house that night and i tried to walked away but she didnt let me go and drive home mad,so she stopped me and that night i lied to my family so i can go see her cuz i can only see her twice a week,so i was mad and when she told me shes gonna tell my family i snapped and i almost hit her,but i didnt though,i clenched my hand and i walked to her but i had my hands on my side and she started crying while i was walking to her and ducked,she thought i was gonna hit her but i didnt,then she broke up with me 2 days after that and as soon we broke up she went out with the lesbian and ever since then i started apoligizing to her and i promised her im gonna change but she dont wanna take me back anymore.......