Headgame Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I have been dating a wonderful young lady for about a year now, although we have known each other for two and were semi-friends from the beginning. Our relationship is long distance, overseas to be exact, but we do seem to find ways to meet for extended periods quite often. We have recently become engaged. To this point in the relationship everything has been humming along beautifully - except for my newly formed, but, so far, extremely slight problem of jealousy. I have very recently started to become jealous of the other men who exist in her daily life. At work especially. For no apparent reason whatsoever. She has given me no reasons to believe she is or would ever be unfaithful to me. I have never been a jealous man before. Ever. Not even a little. But now I feel it. She thought it was "cute" a few times I showed a little jealousy, but now it's not so cute anymore. I haven't been abusive or obessesive or prying or anything like that. But she and I have both caught me snapping a remark, and than apologizing profusely for it, after she mentioned a guy from work a few times in conversation. She always speaks of him with such a "happy, playful" tone. I don't know why, but this has started to irk me a little. But none of this is my real issue overall. I don't want to lose this girl or damage my relationship in any way, and I seriously don't think she is any bit the problem, so my question is: how do I put a stop to the rediculous jealousy before it really does become a relationship changing problem? I'm not very busy right now, whereas she works a full time job and goes to the gym often. I am "on vacation", visiting her overseas, but I have a lot of extra time on my hands; I'm not working right now. Too much time to think about it, perhaps? Does anyone know if keeping myself busy would be a "solution", or must there be another underlying problem I need to deal with? And how do we find and deal with such problems? Like I said, I love this woman very much, and she loves me. I would do anything to prevent a bigger problem...
Andy_K Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It stems from insecurity. If you genuinely believe you're the best, most awesome thing that's ever going to happen to her, the idea that she'll have feelings for anyone else or cheat on you will be absurd. So you need to figure out exactly what you're afraid any other guy could offer that you can't, and either fix it or re-frame it to yourself in such a way that it genuinely isn't important any more.
Eeyore79 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I think much of your jealousy is due to the long distance nature of your relationship. She is around these other guys every day but doesn't see you so often, so you feel jealous. You might find that the situation resolves itself once you are together all the time.
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