women who have multiple partners - different limits with different men?

[Richard Friedman]

This issue is something I have felt is true, from my personal perspective and the sex lives of my friends. There was a post from a guy here recently who described his experiences with women when he was muscley vs thin as being like night & day. I have been skinny and bulked at various times in my life and it was the same for me. Not only did I get prettier / slimmer / smarter women when I was bulked but I met them with less effort and they were raunchier when it came to sex. First night or first date sex was the norm then. Like Mogul the hottest sex I had was ONS's back when I had my biggest build. I chuckle when I hear so many women diss their ONS as being really regrettable. The girls I had when thin with one exception tended to be more tepid when it came to sex. Less initiation, less proactive and adventurous in bed.

 

When it comes to my mates, the better looking guys tended to have way more sexcapades than the avg joes. The guys would have girls that they only met that night blowing then under restaurant tables, in public toilets, getting fingered to orgasm at the bar, getting pumped from behind on dance floor. Having sex with women they sat next to on plane flights or the train or in movie theatres, girls asking for directions, women they talked to while at traffic lights, women met in training courses + business seminars, during a audit, bridesmaids at weddings, women they met at a job interview, goodbye sex from the receptionist when leaving a job, competition sex between the women when they start a job, hooking up with a waitress, barmaid, shop girl, gym instructor, air hostess post shift, going home with girls they met for just 10 mins at taxi ranks, etc. I have heard some pretty freaky stories and they don’t come from my 'avg joe' mates.

While women may say that just because these women where an easy pickup does not mean they were ravers in the sack, I would argue otherwise from my own experience + feedback from my mates, girls who are bang up for action, tend to follow through in greater enthusiasm + a more adventurous nature in the sack, but its certainly not a universal rule by any means.

 

It's my mates who struggled to get women who complain about a lacklustre sex life now they are married, not the ex-players or better looking guys.

I do agree with the women that said trust + length of commitment are big factors in allowing them to be a bit more of whore in the bedroom over time, but I do think there is a significant proportion of women that will go all out early on to impress the hot guy (outdo competition + past gfs), or simply because the hot guys get them aroused much more. There is another active thread here where a woman describes how she would do anything that would please the guy she was crazy over.

 

Hot guys don’t get told, 'hold on before I let you see me naked I need a commitment from you' or 'I want to take it slow, and see how things go' or 'eeeewww I’m not that type of woman' or 'I used to do that but not anymore, thats in the past'. A woman described 'Presence, attraction' as not being the same as looks. Well looks don’t exclusively = attraction, but they are a big factor, and in terms of presence to me this generally = machismo when it comes to women. In RL I have known quite a few women who play down the looks of the guys they hook up with or their bfs, because he does not have male model looks, but when it comes to the guys these women go for, they like very masculine guys. It’s a big factor in the attraction of a guy especially for over 25s.

 

I'd be interested to know if there were any sociological studies on this aspect of sexuality.

 

All that needs to be said really. End of thread.

[Ruby Slippers]

Well said and I challenge anyone to refute this. I noticed a huge difference with how women react around me in the last 2 years or so. Acne disappears, I grow 3 more inches, put on 15-20 pounds of muscle, and girls that wanted nothing to do with me all of a sudden want me. Women are just as shallow as men. Amazing how when all of a sudden you look like a male model, women want you. This is why I don't trust women. The ones that wouldn't be caught dead with me are all of a sudden interested. They may have forgotten my teenage days, but I haven't.

What does this prove? I am making the effort to look better these days, and I am getting more attention from men. Yes, on one level, I think this is sad and disappointing, because I'm the same person as I always was. But for the most part, I just accept that this is the way it is -- most people tend to follow their instincts and not think too much.

[Darren Taylor]

What does this prove? I am making the effort to look better these days, and I am getting more attention from men. Yes, on one level, I think this is sad and disappointing, because I'm the same person as I always was. But for the most part, I just accept that this is the way it is -- most people tend to follow their instincts and not think too much.

 

 

Exactly. I too, am no different. I'm the same person, act the same, do the same thing day in and day out. But, I'll also add that it's not just women that act positively around me now. Guys do as well. Even guys are much more willing to say hello to me and act friendly with me.

[Mangomonkey]

Yea what does it honestly prove? Woman go gaga and fall for hunks for bull**** reasons and call it love, chemistry, or some other nonsense and say it means more when it isn't. Don't men do the same? It just shows that people. Men and Women. As a whole aren't as great as we think we are. We are fall for temptations. We all fall for some kinda bull****. We all make "mistakes" with people. We are all human. Just remember that.

 

I've said this before and I'll say it again. For both men and women. Just work on yourself. And screw everyone else.

[Mangomonkey]

I just like to add this from my own experience. When things are going great for me. Where i look fit and look rich. Everyone wants to be around you for one reason or another. Women like you because you look like your going somewhere or just because your attractive. And people see you attract women then you attract more women. Then men see you attract women and then they wanna be your friend. Why? I don't know. I don't care. I just focus on me. If something good comes along i take it. Other than that i just live my life the best way i can.

[Ruby Slippers]

Exactly. I too, am no different. I'm the same person, act the same, do the same thing day in and day out. But, I'll also add that it's not just women that act positively around me now. Guys do as well. Even guys are much more willing to say hello to me and act friendly with me.

Same here. Women check me out a lot more, smile and talk to me, act deferential and sweet, like they want to be my friend.

 

The more I play the part of confident hottie, the more the whole world wants to kiss my ass. It's sad, but I am finally beginning to accept that this is just the way it is.

 

The challenge will be to make use of this truth for light, rather than dark, purposes. I understand that power tends to corrupt, but I am pretty determined to resist that temptation.

[Richard Friedman]

It's not that women are not being honest, it's that the men here seem to be interpreting them incorrectly.

 

And for the record, I'm not on this board in any attempt to be socially acceptable. I've been open on this forum about being all kinds of things that the more conservative/provincial people on these forums consider unacceptable or disturbing, and then another big percentage of these boards think I'm obnoxious because I openly think at least some of them are provincial. Not particularly currying favor over here.

 

 

 

Not one woman here has even addressed what you are talking about. Perhaps you should read more carefully or reflect a little more before you come up with the take home message of "never listen to women."

 

If women are extremely attracted to someone, their sexual boundaries could be different with him than with someone they are not particularly attracted to. Duh. Who is contesting that? Last time I checked, men were generally more sexually eager around women they were extremely attracted to than they were around someone they considered too old or fat or otherwise undesirable, too.

 

However: women are not only attracted to Guy A because some would consider him objectively better looking than Guy B. IMO, most women here have experienced finding different men attractive on vastly different and more complex scales than Brad Pitt vs. The Elephant Man, which is part of what they've been trying to express here.

 

Factors that women find attractive include presence, charisma, sexual ability, chemistry between the two, and whatever intangible factors make her put her trust in him. In other words, all the other things that women in this thread have been talking about.

 

FYI, just because you seem to think your life experiences point to one answer, this probably should not suggest to you that it's okay to negate everyone else's life experiences. You guys might want to consider that you might have a little bit of a listening problem--if you don't understand the things that women are saying, it might not be solely a communication malfunction on women's part. Just sayin'.

 

Most women that I have known, for example--and I think it's pretty likely that I have intimately/emotionally known more women than most of the men on this board, frankly, for a variety of reasons--dont' jump into anal sex lightly just because they think a man has nice abs or whatever. Anal is a vulnerable activity that requires a fair amount of trust. And isn't THAT exactly the kind of thing the OP was asking about, not whether women find attractive men more attractive than unattractive men, or whatever people are trying to turn this into?

 

Of course there are exceptions. For one thing there are women who ONLY have ONS, or flings, for various reasons. That doesn't negate the opinions or experiences of the women who have responded, and it's always annoying and depressing when some of you lean so hard on wanting a handful of women from across the world to answer exactly as you expect them to, as if they were representive of the handful of women you are personally acquainted with in your own corners of the world--particularly when you call us all liars if we have a different perspective.

 

Perhaps I should've been more clear. Sexual attraction is not just looks; charisma, wit etc. also play their part but when a woman says looks play no role, like some have said on here, you can't tell me that that is not some pc bs. And if you say that trust and not raw sexual attraction(looks,personality, and all) dictates who gets what when, you're clearly deluded.

[Darren Taylor]

Same here. Women check me out a lot more, smile and talk to me, act deferential and sweet, like they want to be my friend.

 

The more I play the part of confident hottie, the more the whole world wants to kiss my ass. It's sad, but I am finally beginning to accept that this is just the way it is.

 

The challenge will be to make use of this truth for light, rather than dark, purposes. I understand that power tends to corrupt, but I am pretty determined to resist that temptation.

 

 

Yep. Even if I'm being a d*ck or do something questionable, people will defend me and/or look for a reason to justify my actions.

 

Power does tend to corrupt, but I remember what it was like to be on the other side. I'm still friends with those I went to school with. Many are overweight, not that great looking, dumb, awkward, but they always were my friend and were by my side when I was awkward, geeky, and not popular myself. I'll make sure to remain their friend.

[mr.dream merchant]

Yes. People have different boundaries depending on who they're interacting with. This doesn't rule out morals and self respect though. There are people out there who won't make themselves sexually available after a certain amount of time, no matter how hot the person is nor how heavy the chemistry is. Besides there's something to be said about a woman giving herself away to other men but making a certain one wait. :/

[JohnP82]

Of course they do. If you don't believe that they have different limits for different guys then you have very little experience with women. Not only have I witnessed it, I've experienced it.