women who have multiple partners - different limits with different men?

[allsexprofile]

do such women have different limits with different man depending on his attractiveness?

 

for eg with one guy who is very goodlooking/attractive, she may be willing to do certain sex acts like blowjob and anal or allow him to have rough sex. but with a more regular looking guy, she may only have plain sex. she will not perform oral on him, not let him handle her roughly or do anal.

[Eeyore79]

It has nothing to do with looks, and everything to do with how well you know the guy, how long you've been in a relationship, and how much you trust and love him. I'm more willing to do stuff with a guy I love and have been in a relationship with for a good while.

[Cee]

No, looks have nothing to do with it. I think a man's commanding presence in the bedroom is a bigger factor. Plus, his trustworthiness, sex appeal, and ability to please me.

[Alma Mobley]

I am not a prude, but certain sex acts are reserved for relationships only with someone I trust. Do you really think that the majority of women are running around having anal and kinky sex willy-nilly with ONS's?

[BiscuitXOXO]

Same for me. Only a minor part of a man's sexual attractiveness is determined by his looks. The majority is what type of a relationship we have, if I feel safe, if I trust him, etc.

[GoodOnPaper]

I am not a prude, but certain sex acts are reserved for relationships only with someone I trust. Do you really think that the majority of women are running around having anal and kinky sex willy-nilly with ONS's?

 

I always figured that it was primarily within ONS's where that kind of stuff did happen.

[Stung]

It has nothing to do with looks, and everything to do with how well you know the guy, how long you've been in a relationship, and how much you trust and love him. I'm more willing to do stuff with a guy I love and have been in a relationship with for a good while.

 

This.

 

No, looks have nothing to do with it. I think a man's commanding presence in the bedroom is a bigger factor. Plus, his trustworthiness, sex appeal, and ability to please me.

 

 

And this.

 

Presence, attraction, and mostly, trust. Feelings, not looks.

[Ruby Slippers]

Trust is the big one. And a lot needs to be in place for there to be trust -- commitment, compassion, and connection.

[Mrlonelyone]

Of course the mans attractiveness is a factor.

 

If you sexually bore a man with options he may exercise his options. So if Brad Pitt wants anal and @$$ to mouth oral he gets it. (odds are even Angelina Jolie would give him that she's a well known freak.)

 

 

Ladies you say otherwise because being honest about this is not socially acceptable.

[TheLoneSock]

I am not a prude, but certain sex acts are reserved for relationships only with someone I trust. Do you really think that the majority of women are running around having anal and kinky sex willy-nilly with ONS's?

 

Lol, they aren't according to who? Just because you don't?

[TouchedByViolet]

Women who have multiple partners, as the OP describes, don't place much value in trust, or intimacy. The topic of discussion does not involve boyfriends or committed relationships where other emotional factors are at play.

 

When it comes to just having sexual fun women are just as superficial as men. The better looking the man the greater the chance he will be performing bedroom acrobatics. Regarding kinkiness, some women are freaks and others are not. If you want to push a lady into an area sexually that she is uncomfortable I guess your level of attractiveness could help. But then again so can alcohol lol.

[dreamingoftigers]

I think that it is weird that some guys on here think that looks would be the determining factor for that.

 

I would hazard a guess that besides closeness if all other things being equal perhaps some of the women would be less likely to do anal with a guy if he was very large in the cock vs otherwise.

[TheLoneSock]

I would hazard a guess that besides closeness if all other things being equal perhaps some of the women would be less likely to do anal with a guy if he was very large in the cock vs otherwise.

 

This right here.

[mogul]

I am not a prude, but certain sex acts are reserved for relationships only with someone I trust. Do you really think that the majority of women are running around having anal and kinky sex willy-nilly with ONS's?

 

Are you speaking for yourself or for all women? Some of the kinkiest, funnest sex I have had are with ons women. They just don't care and live in the moment. It isn't about what we would think of each other the next day, rather than doing things that we want and just having fun with no regrets.

[Richard Friedman]

The views posted by most women here are absolute nonsense. I say this from life experience and common sense. Of course looks matter. Of course women are more likely to sleep with people they are attracted to more quickly. Does something so obvious even need saying? If you are going to say that a hunk who makes a woman soak her panties and the cute guy she dates for "personality" are going to get her in bed in the same time, and her attraction to the first guy is not a factor you're either retarded or being deliberately disengenuous. This thread is as stupid as one asking whether an obese, autistic guy has as much chance with a woman as an md. We already know the answer intuitively, but no doubt you'd get some women arguing that if the autistic guy has a nice personality.... The take home from this thread is simple: Don't listen to what women say. Watch what they do. Men and women may be equally superficial, only women feel the need to present themselves as some kind of holistic mother teresas.

[TuffCookieX]

This is a topic I can assist to, because I currently have multiple sex partners and am not in any type of relationship.

 

It is true, I'll do "certain" things with some and not the others. Looks has nothing to do with it because I am physically attracted to them all the same.

 

I go by what they prefer and how much I trust them. I was sexually assaulted at a young age, so the more comfortable I feel around someone, the more I can do. Pushiness drives me away completely.

 

Doesn't matter who are are, anal isn't something I do.

[TuffCookieX]

The views posted by most women here are absolute nonsense. I say this from life experience and common sense. Of course looks matter. Of course women are more likely to sleep with people they are attracted to more quickly. Does something so obvious even need saying? If you are going to say that a hunk who makes a woman soak her panties and the cute guy she dates for "personality" are going to get her in bed in the same time, and her attraction to the first guy is not a factor you're either retarded or being deliberately disengenuous. This thread is as stupid as one asking whether an obese, autistic guy has as much chance with a woman as an md. We already know the answer intuitively, but no doubt you'd get some women arguing that if the autistic guy has a nice personality.... The take home from this thread is simple: Don't listen to what women say. Watch what they do. Men and women may be equally superficial, only women feel the need to present themselves as some kind of holistic mother teresas.

 

 

Speaking for myself only, I don't go for different looks in men. They're either hot enough to get me in bed, or not.

[Richard Friedman]

And for the record I've seen it happen countless times where the guy who makes her gina tingle gets the "goods" first. Here in New York it's almost a running joke; the investment banker/lawyer/private equity guy wines and dines her for 3 months before getting bad sex, while she boffs the hot guido dj an hour after meeting him. If women see you as a long term prospect of course they'll be more careful of projecting an image as a "good girl." If not then they don't give a damn, and if you're good looking/suave enough it doesn't matter either way. I'd say for any women who has boundaries like no kissing on the first date, no sex before 1 month, whatever, there's a guy who they would break these rules for. The words mean nothing when the the chemicals of true attraction kick in. If you don't believe me just use your head. Do you really think the girl who's making you wait a month would make you wait as long if you were brad pitt, george clooney, or whoever her "dream guy" is? Not a chance.

[Stung]

Of course the mans attractiveness is a factor.

 

If you sexually bore a man with options he may exercise his options. So if Brad Pitt wants anal and @$$ to mouth oral he gets it. (odds are even Angelina Jolie would give him that she's a well known freak.)

 

 

Ladies you say otherwise because being honest about this is not socially acceptable.

 

It's not that women are not being honest, it's that the men here seem to be interpreting them incorrectly.

 

And for the record, I'm not on this board in any attempt to be socially acceptable. I've been open on this forum about being all kinds of things that the more conservative/provincial people on these forums consider unacceptable or disturbing, and then another big percentage of these boards think I'm obnoxious because I openly think at least some of them are provincial. Not particularly currying favor over here.

 

The views posted by most women here are absolute nonsense. I say this from life experience and common sense. Of course looks matter. Of course women are more likely to sleep with people they are attracted to more quickly. Does something so obvious even need saying? If you are going to say that a hunk who makes a woman soak her panties and the cute guy she dates for "personality" are going to get her in bed in the same time, and her attraction to the first guy is not a factor you're either retarded or being deliberately disengenuous. This thread is as stupid as one asking whether an obese, autistic guy has as much chance with a woman as an md. We already know the answer intuitively, but no doubt you'd get some women arguing that if the autistic guy has a nice personality.... The take home from this thread is simple: Don't listen to what women say. Watch what they do. Men and women may be equally superficial, only women feel the need to present themselves as some kind of holistic mother teresas.

 

Not one woman here has even addressed what you are talking about. Perhaps you should read more carefully or reflect a little more before you come up with the take home message of "never listen to women."

 

If women are extremely attracted to someone, their sexual boundaries could be different with him than with someone they are not particularly attracted to. Duh. Who is contesting that? Last time I checked, men were generally more sexually eager around women they were extremely attracted to than they were around someone they considered too old or fat or otherwise undesirable, too.

 

However: women are not only attracted to Guy A because some would consider him objectively better looking than Guy B. IMO, most women here have experienced finding different men attractive on vastly different and more complex scales than Brad Pitt vs. The Elephant Man, which is part of what they've been trying to express here.

 

Factors that women find attractive include presence, charisma, sexual ability, chemistry between the two, and whatever intangible factors make her put her trust in him. In other words, all the other things that women in this thread have been talking about.

 

FYI, just because you seem to think your life experiences point to one answer, this probably should not suggest to you that it's okay to negate everyone else's life experiences. You guys might want to consider that you might have a little bit of a listening problem--if you don't understand the things that women are saying, it might not be solely a communication malfunction on women's part. Just sayin'.

 

Most women that I have known, for example--and I think it's pretty likely that I have intimately/emotionally known more women than most of the men on this board, frankly, for a variety of reasons--dont' jump into anal sex lightly just because they think a man has nice abs or whatever. Anal is a vulnerable activity that requires a fair amount of trust. And isn't THAT exactly the kind of thing the OP was asking about, not whether women find attractive men more attractive than unattractive men, or whatever people are trying to turn this into?

 

Of course there are exceptions. For one thing there are women who ONLY have ONS, or flings, for various reasons. That doesn't negate the opinions or experiences of the women who have responded, and it's always annoying and depressing when some of you lean so hard on wanting a handful of women from across the world to answer exactly as you expect them to, as if they were representive of the handful of women you are personally acquainted with in your own corners of the world--particularly when you call us all liars if we have a different perspective.

[Sanman]

The answer to this question is exactly what you think it is. Though as Stung mentioned it isn't just about looks. However, if you are good at turning women on mentally you can get them to break all the rules. IME, women get much more emotional and are more likely to throw rules out the window and do things in the heat of the moment.

 

My most recent ex-gf admitted to me that she would have had a ONS with me, but that if that happened she would have written me off as relationship material (gotta love the hypocrisy there). In retrospect, that may have been the better option. It isn't simply looking good, but if you can make a girls knees quiver then the rules don't apply to you. This can be action as well. I don't think that just the way I looked made her want to do whatever with me. But, the first time I picked her up and pinned her against a wall while making out, I could have broken any rule I wanted (and did).

[Mrlonelyone]

The answer to this question is exactly what you think it is. Though as Stung mentioned it isn't just about looks. However, if you are good at turning women on mentally you can get them to break all the rules. IME, women get much more emotional and are more likely to throw rules out the window and do things in the heat of the moment.

 

My most recent ex-gf admitted to me that she would have had a ONS with me, but that if that happened she would have written me off as relationship material (gotta love the hypocrisy there). In retrospect, that may have been the better option. It isn't simply looking good, but if you can make a girls knees quiver then the rules don't apply to you. This can be action as well. I don't think that just the way I looked made her want to do whatever with me. But, the first time I picked her up and pinned her against a wall while making out, I could have broken any rule I wanted (and did).

 

Yes Sanman these women forget I am a transgendered (bigendered) person. I have lived as one of them...off and on since highschool. I know what they say when men aren't around.

 

Women use codewords for things (so do men but not when it comes to relationships).

 

When it comes to women who have multiple partners and aren't looking for anything serious hottness matters. Yet they still want to protray the good girl image.

 

Comfortable <==> wet and ready.

Getting to know him <==> getting to know if he has any obvious STD's.

And so on.

 

I certainly have thrown those rules out the window for a handsome enough man. "But your really a guy no matter what we girls are good and pure and ...." Give me a freaking break! Women are if anything more superficial than men.

 

Men who are looking for NSA ONS or FWB sex only care about weather or not you make them hard. Women in a simmilar place care if you make them wet. Why pretend that NSA ONS or FWB sex is about anything more than it is?

[allsexprofile]

firstly im not referring to relationships, but to women's casual sex partners; one night stands, **** buddies etc.

 

 

i think some ppl have made some interesting points...that if a woman has a One night stand with a very handsome guy then wouldnt she break some of her rules for him? wouldnt she be willing to do things she doesnt normally do on one night stands she has with ok-looking guys? (and please there are not just 2 extremes.....brad pitt or elephant man)

 

 

it could be anything from agreeing to be submissive, blowjob(if she normally doesnt do it), anal, different positions, spanking, etc.

 

 

im asking this bcos i know guys who have had sex with same women (one nighters) and the experiences of both were different. one is definitely more attractive than the other.

 

look, im not saying this is shallow or wrong but what interests me is that for men..if we are having sex with a woman it means we are attracted to her and the question of 'limits' and 'terms' isnt relevant. we are either attracted or we are not.

[LadyWriter]

Women who have multiple partners, as the OP describes, don't place much value in trust, or intimacy. The topic of discussion does not involve boyfriends or committed relationships where other emotional factors are at play.

 

When it comes to just having sexual fun women are just as superficial as men. The better looking the man the greater the chance he will be performing bedroom acrobatics.

 

Exactly! If a woman meets a guy who turns her on like a blow-torch, more than likely she'll be willing to do whatever he wants. The emotional side doesn't really factor in at THAT moment.

[ascendotum]

This issue is something I have felt is true, from my personal perspective and the sex lives of my friends. There was a post from a guy here recently who described his experiences with women when he was muscley vs thin as being like night & day. I have been skinny and bulked at various times in my life and it was the same for me. Not only did I get prettier / slimmer / smarter women when I was bulked but I met them with less effort and they were raunchier when it came to sex. First night or first date sex was the norm then. Like Mogul the hottest sex I had was ONS's back when I had my biggest build. I chuckle when I hear so many women diss their ONS as being really regrettable. The girls I had when thin with one exception tended to be more tepid when it came to sex. Less initiation, less proactive and adventurous in bed.

 

When it comes to my mates, the better looking guys tended to have way more sexcapades than the avg joes. The guys would have girls that they only met that night blowing then under restaurant tables, in public toilets, getting fingered to orgasm at the bar, getting pumped from behind on dance floor. Having sex with women they sat next to on plane flights or the train or in movie theatres, girls asking for directions, women they talked to while at traffic lights, women met in training courses + business seminars, during a audit, bridesmaids at weddings, women they met at a job interview, goodbye sex from the receptionist when leaving a job, competition sex between the women when they start a job, hooking up with a waitress, barmaid, shop girl, gym instructor, air hostess post shift, going home with girls they met for just 10 mins at taxi ranks, etc. I have heard some pretty freaky stories and they don’t come from my 'avg joe' mates.

While women may say that just because these women where an easy pickup does not mean they were ravers in the sack, I would argue otherwise from my own experience + feedback from my mates, girls who are bang up for action, tend to follow through in greater enthusiasm + a more adventurous nature in the sack, but its certainly not a universal rule by any means.

 

It's my mates who struggled to get women who complain about a lacklustre sex life now they are married, not the ex-players or better looking guys.

I do agree with the women that said trust + length of commitment are big factors in allowing them to be a bit more of whore in the bedroom over time, but I do think there is a significant proportion of women that will go all out early on to impress the hot guy (outdo competition + past gfs), or simply because the hot guys get them aroused much more. There is another active thread here where a woman describes how she would do anything that would please the guy she was crazy over.

 

Hot guys don’t get told, 'hold on before I let you see me naked I need a commitment from you' or 'I want to take it slow, and see how things go' or 'eeeewww I’m not that type of woman' or 'I used to do that but not anymore, thats in the past'. A woman described 'Presence, attraction' as not being the same as looks. Well looks don’t exclusively = attraction, but they are a big factor, and in terms of presence to me this generally = machismo when it comes to women. In RL I have known quite a few women who play down the looks of the guys they hook up with or their bfs, because he does not have male model looks, but when it comes to the guys these women go for, they like very masculine guys. It’s a big factor in the attraction of a guy especially for over 25s.

 

I'd be interested to know if there were any sociological studies on this aspect of sexuality.

[Darren Taylor]

This issue is something I have felt is true, from my personal perspective and the sex lives of my friends. There was a post from a guy here recently who described his experiences with women when he was muscley vs thin as being like night & day. I have been skinny and bulked at various times in my life and it was the same for me. Not only did I get prettier / slimmer / smarter women when I was bulked but I met them with less effort and they were raunchier when it came to sex. First night or first date sex was the norm then. Like Mogul the hottest sex I had was ONS's back when I had my biggest build. I chuckle when I hear so many women diss their ONS as being really regrettable. The girls I had when thin with one exception tended to be more tepid when it came to sex. Less initiation, less proactive and adventurous in bed.

 

When it comes to my mates, the better looking guys tended to have way more sexcapades than the avg joes. The guys would have girls that they only met that night blowing then under restaurant tables, in public toilets, getting fingered to orgasm at the bar, getting pumped from behind on dance floor. Having sex with women they sat next to on plane flights or the train or in movie theatres, girls asking for directions, women they talked to while at traffic lights, women met in training courses + business seminars, during a audit, bridesmaids at weddings, women they met at a job interview, goodbye sex from the receptionist when leaving a job, competition sex between the women when they start a job, hooking up with a waitress, barmaid, shop girl, gym instructor, air hostess post shift, going home with girls they met for just 10 mins at taxi ranks, etc. I have heard some pretty freaky stories and they don’t come from my 'avg joe' mates.

While women may say that just because these women where an easy pickup does not mean they were ravers in the sack, I would argue otherwise from my own experience + feedback from my mates, girls who are bang up for action, tend to follow through in greater enthusiasm + a more adventurous nature in the sack, but its certainly not a universal rule by any means.

 

It's my mates who struggled to get women who complain about a lacklustre sex life now they are married, not the ex-players or better looking guys.

I do agree with the women that said trust + length of commitment are big factors in allowing them to be a bit more of whore in the bedroom over time, but I do think there is a significant proportion of women that will go all out early on to impress the hot guy (outdo competition + past gfs), or simply because the hot guys get them aroused much more. There is another active thread here where a woman describes how she would do anything that would please the guy she was crazy over.

 

Hot guys don’t get told, 'hold on before I let you see me naked I need a commitment from you' or 'I want to take it slow, and see how things go' or 'eeeewww I’m not that type of woman' or 'I used to do that but not anymore, thats in the past'. A woman described 'Presence, attraction' as not being the same as looks. Well looks don’t exclusively = attraction, but they are a big factor, and in terms of presence to me this generally = machismo when it comes to women. In RL I have known quite a few women who play down the looks of the guys they hook up with or their bfs, because he does not have male model looks, but when it comes to the guys these women go for, they like very masculine guys. It’s a big factor in the attraction of a guy especially for over 25s.

 

I'd be interested to know if there were any sociological studies on this aspect of sexuality.

 

 

Well said and I challenge anyone to refute this. I noticed a huge difference with how women react around me in the last 2 years or so. Acne disappears, I grow 3 more inches, put on 15-20 pounds of muscle, and girls that wanted nothing to do with me all of a sudden want me. Women are just as shallow as men. Amazing how when all of a sudden you look like a male model, women want you. This is why I don't trust women. The ones that wouldn't be caught dead with me are all of a sudden interested. They may have forgotten my teenage days, but I haven't.