mosso135 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Ok so basically me and my girlfriend have been together for 11 months, and she said to me the other night that i was the one for her, but in the future we may need to temporarily break up to experience other relationships so that we know what theyre like. i said to her that peopel who break up for whatever reason rarely get back together again, and she said that we would. what do i do?
washguy74 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Not do what she suggested. :-) If it's a real love that's gonna last, you do not want all those other people in your 'story' together. How old are you guys?
GoodOnPaper Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 If you do break up, you should consider it permanent and move on. Are you her first bf? A similar thing happened to me in college. I was together with a girl for 2 years and we were talking engagement -- I was her first bf, she was my second gf but first real relationship. Then all of a sudden, she cools WAY off during a summer and wanted a "break". She said that we might have a chance of getting back together only IF I left her alone and didn't complain during this "break". Of course she had met another guy and of course she broke up with me when we met up a couple months later. Her reason for breaking up? She wanted experience and didn't want to commit to the guy who was her first bf.
GreenVista Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 God what is the matter with these people. Don't know a good thing when they have it. I feel sorry for you because there isn't anything you can do. Just hope they end up with a crap life and you find somebody 100x better who will never let you go.
Skump Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 what do i do? Thank God you discovered what a retard this person is before things got really serious. Chuck and truck my friend. Tell your "girlfriend" that you've decided not to wait and skip right to the "breakup/explore other people" phase of your relationship. Parenthetically, if you deliver this line without showing any emotion beyond minor annoyance, you will score copious man points and feel like a major stud in a few weeks.
Graviton Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Ok so basically me and my girlfriend have been together for 11 months, and she said to me the other night that i was the one for her, but in the future we may need to temporarily break up to experience other relationships so that we know what theyre like. i said to her that peopel who break up for whatever reason rarely get back together again, and she said that we would. what do i do? Let me translate that womenspeak into manspeak for you: "I want to break up with you so that I can get slammed in my p#ssy by other men and have fun. Then, when I'm 30 and over the hill and nobody wants me anymore, then I'll come back to you. But not before I give my best youthful years to other men." She doesn't love you enough. If you really love someone, then you don't pull sh#t like that on them.
vsmini Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 If you guys are young (under 20) most likely you will break up eventually. She is being realistic and most likely will want to see what else is out there in the future. Either stay with her now, always knowing that she'll end it eventually or get out now and start enjoying other relationships! You will need the experience and it is good for you. She should be able to understand as she's the one who brought it up.
Graviton Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 If you guys are young (under 20) most likely you will break up eventually. She is being realistic and most likely will want to see what else is out there in the future. Either stay with her now, always knowing that she'll end it eventually or get out now and start enjoying other relationships! You will need the experience and it is good for you. She should be able to understand as she's the one who brought it up. I think you missed the part where she said "you're the one" and "I'll come back to you". That has nothing to do with being realistic. In my opinion she just wants sexual adventures with other men for fun, but keep him as the "reliable guy on the backburner". She just sugar coats it by saying they need more experience. She takes him for an idiot.
welikeincrowds Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I think you missed the part where she said "you're the one" and "I'll come back to you". That has nothing to do with being realistic. In my opinion she just wants sexual adventures with other men for fun, but keep him as the "reliable guy on the backburner". She just sugar coats it by saying they need more experience. She takes him for an idiot. There's no need to assume she's being malicious. She sounds more to me like she's just being naive.
Darren Taylor Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 There's no need to assume she's being malicious. She sounds more to me like she's just being naive. Maybe not malicious, but she knows damn well what she's doing.
lemonlegs Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I don't see why everyone thinks that this is such a bad thing for the girl to say. Yes, she shouldn't sugar coat it and promise that your relationship WILL be rekindled down the road, and you should by no means sit and wait for her, but if that's what she wants, that's what she wants. Doesn't mean she's a bad person. If she is young, who can blame her? I believe that people need to experience different relationships before they truly know waht they want... some people may think differently, but that's my opinion. Sure, some people marry their first loves and live happily ever after... but there's always gonna be that thought in the back of your mind. Just move on and do just that - explore different relationships. You'll probably end up meeting a girl who you connect with even more then you'll understand what she was talking about. Assuming you are both young. If you're 30, then she's just a committment phobe.
lemonlegs Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 God what is the matter with these people. Don't know a good thing when they have it. I feel sorry for you because there isn't anything you can do. Just hope they end up with a crap life and you find somebody 100x better who will never let you go. That's a pretty cynical thing to say, dontcha think? How do you know the OP was an amazing boyfriend? Sorry OP, just speaking hypothetically. Maybe she truly is not happy. You can't assume that just because the OP is the dumpee means he was an amazing boyfriend who's being kicked to the curb...
Graviton Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I don't see why everyone thinks that this is such a bad thing for the girl to say. Because if she does indeed want to return to him, then she's actually flat out saying that she's going to use him as "the reliable guy on the backburner". i.e. "You're not good enough for my prime years, those years I will give away to other men, just hold tight for me until I hit my expiration date ok? K thanx!" In my opinion she's flat out lying about him being "the one". Because what she intends to do, you simply don't do that to the real one, you're not going to break up and spend your prime years f#cking other people. What she's doing is either malicious in my opinion or she thinks in a very naive way. But if she's naive, then that's not going to change what she intends to do. That's a pretty cynical thing to say' date=' dontcha think? How do you know the OP was an amazing boyfriend? Sorry OP, just speaking hypothetically. Maybe she truly is not happy. You can't assume that just because the OP is the dumpee means he was an amazing boyfriend who's being kicked to the curb...[/quote'] She says he's the one. In my opinion she's either lying about that or she's sugarcoating what she's about to do. Just because he's a man and she's a woman, doesn't mean she should be allowed walk over him like that. Women don't have a free pass to do things like this. It's painful and disrespectful to him as a person and to him as a man and to him as her "supposed" love of her life.
fishtaco Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I lol'ed at Graviton's posts. He didn't pull any punches. But I'm on his side. If she just wanted out, she should just break up with him. That whole "you're the one" makes her motives suspicious. If he's the one, she would not want a break to experience other men. If she wants to experience other men, then he's not the one. Anytime there's conflict like this, you know the person (doesn't matter men or women), is playing games. She is definitely putting him on the backburner as "the reliable guy". This is what I would do. But I'm older, I've been punched in the face enough times to have fairly solid strangle hold on my emotions. Sometimes it works in my favor, sometimes it doesn't. I'd suggest open relationship as opposed to just break up. So I can get regular sex while I look for the next girlfriend. As soon as I get the next girlfriend, I dump her. When people play games with you, that's justification you can play games right back.
lemonlegs Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Because if she does indeed want to return to him, then she's actually flat out saying that she's going to use him as "the reliable guy on the backburner". i.e. "You're not good enough for my prime years, those years I will give away to other men, just hold tight for me until I hit my expiration date ok? K thanx!" In my opinion she's flat out lying about him being "the one". Because what she intends to do, you simply don't do that to the real one, you're not going to break up and spend your prime years f#cking other people. What she's doing is either malicious in my opinion or she thinks in a very naive way. But if she's naive, then that's not going to change what she intends to do. She says he's the one. In my opinion she's either lying about that or she's sugarcoating what she's about to do. Just because he's a man and she's a woman, doesn't mean she should be allowed walk over him like that. Women don't have a free pass to do things like this. It's painful and disrespectful to him as a person and to him as a man and to him as her "supposed" love of her life. I do agree with you. I don't think it's right for her to sugarcoat things by any means. That does reduce all of her credibility right there. Maybe I'm speaking more generally. I just see this a lot here. When someone says that they want to explore other options, they immediately get labeled as a bad person. Sure, using him and keeping his hopes up is not right at all, hence why I said the OP should just move on and not sit around hoping that she will fulfill her "promise".
chuckles11 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 OP, I agree with most of the other posters. What your girlfriend just conveyed to you is that she is in the process of breaking up with you, but will wait until she has identified the next guy she's going to hook up with before she pulls the trigger.
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