Timmeh Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It was a hot summer when my best friend left his fiance of two years. Every minute it seems two were at each others throats so they decided to part ways with one another because of the constant fights. They just didn't enjoy each other anymore so it was time to move on. Within a week of the breakup my friend started a new relationship with a girl whom he hardly knew. It was painfuly obvious that this girl was attracted to him from the very first time I saw them together. They first met each other planning an event. Both were in a commited relationship, but the attraction between them was mutual. After this event was finished those two didn't talk until just before my friend ended his relationship. Within a week him and this new girl were committed to each other. She seemed like the perfect girl on the outside but I always got a strange vibe from her. She was very charismatic and involved in so many different events, and charitys, one could call her a saint. 6 months into the relationship they started to talk marriage because of my friends prostate problem. He needed to have sex, and since he was a christian he didn't masterbate, or have sex with his girlfriend. The only option to him was marriage. At 6.5 months they tied the knot, behind everyones back. They kept up this charade for 5 months. They told everyone that they were just engauged, this was her suggestion. She wanted help from people because she wanted a blowout wedding ceremony, and she believed if everyone knew they were married that they wouldn't help with the wedding. So essentially she was trying to manipulate people into free labor for the wedding. My friend agreed and decided to go along with the whole thing. Here is what made my eyebrows raise... This is what initially made me doubt this girls intentions. At 3 months in she started talking about wanting another kid. She kept saying to my friend that she wanted another kid as soon as she was married, my friend told her that he wanted to wait it never turned into an argument. From the get go she knew about my friends situation with the prostate, and from the get go she talked marriage. My friend was also anxious to settle down because of his problem so he didn't see it as a red flag but I did. 1 month after they were married she got pregnant. Right after that happened she started becoming emotionally withdrawn from the relationship. Since they were pretending that they were just engauged they lived in seperate homes. One night my friend wanted to leave flowers at her doorstep in the middle of the night as a nice gesture. He saw candle lights flickering from her room, and she never used candle lights before. The window was too high for him to see in so he left suspicious. When he confronted her she said that she was just reading the bible by candle light. He decided to check the text records and she was sending 60 text a day to a guy named "John" that lived on the otherside of the state. He confronted her again and she said that he was just a old friend she was catching up with. After the blowout wedding and his kid was born (which my friend paid for the wedding it was 10k) his wife got her two bestfriends and told my brother if he didn't move is things out, they'd be in the trash by the time he got home from work. She packed up, took his kid and moved to the otherside of the state. She threatened that her dad would pay for a bigshot attorney if he decided to propose a parenting plan after the official seperation was filled(they're still legally married and he couldn't afford an attorney). Because the seperation was filled he would owe backpay in child support in the event of a divorce. Because his wife lived 300 miles away my brother could never see his kid. It was lucky if he could see his kid once every 2 months. Every now and then she would call and act vulnerable then she would just disappear for awhile until she needed money for something. She would string him along and then there would be nothing. Suddenly out of the blue she moved back here, and admitted she dated this John guy for 6 months and that she wanted to get back together.... My friend didn't answer but is spending almost every day with her, and talking with her for 3 hours every day on the phone at night. He actually might get back together with her... Actually I feel that he will, I'm almost 100 percent positive. Also... get this she might have to have a hysterectomy and a mutual friend told them that she would want to die if she couldn't have anymore children....
blueskyday Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Wow, all you can do is be there for your friend to point out things he might not have thought about, and for when things fall apart again, and they probably will given her bad character. Maybe you can convince him to get a paternity test for his child if he hasn't already thought of it. I would wonder if he is the father, or this John guy is. A negative result would pretty much take care of any hope of getting back together, one would think.
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