CrazyMiner Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Hi all, Just a quick question. Basically earlier this week I sent my ex GF a NC/LC letter as we had been trying to meet up as 'friends' and I just felt that it wasn't helping me move on. How can you move from a partner/lover of 8 years to a friend?? So she got the letter, read it and replied with a friendly text saying that she understood my thoughts and reasons. She also said that she would call me later in the week for an update... the update was in regard to the house we brought together 6 months earlier and renting it out. She calls once a week or so to find out how the viewings are going etc (she lives 45 minutes drive each way away). So she got the letter and replied to me on Tuesday and hasn't called. I doubt she will call over the weekend because since we have broken up she sees the weekends as a sort of no contact time as she usually goes away for city breaks with her friends (though, of course, calls me if she wants to ask a question... not exactly fair but there we are). So I need to discuss a few things with her about the house, such as potentially reducing the rent that we are looking for because the number of viewings has been limited (she insisted on setting a higher than market rate rent) and to make two of the rooms rentable I need to get some furniture which in total will cost somewhere in the region of £400 ($700). On top of that there is landlord insurance etc so it all adds up and basically I want to make sure that she is able to pay her half before I go out and empty my bank account doing all the work. But of course she hasn't called me like she said she would. I was thinking of emailing her, but to be honest I don't want to be the one to make the contact after she said she would call me. I've already tried the begging, come back to me thing a few weeks ago and know that I came across needy and weak and I don't really want to be the one to call/email her when she said she would contact me, if you know what I mean. So what do I do? Wait for her to call before I do anything? Call her to get it out the way? Send her an email with the info? Or just go ahead and get it all sorted and then basically hand her a bill?
PegNosePete Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 NC/LC isn't a game. There are no prizes for sticking to it, and no reward for keeping your promises about who will make contact. Just contact her as little as possible and keep to the point, don't argue. If you need to tell her something then do so, or if you need some information from her then ask. I would send her an email with the info that you think you need to spend this money and is she happy to pay half. Although actually if she does agree and you do spend the money but then she doesn't pay, there's probably not much you can do to get it off her. To be honest you seriously need to GET OUT of this joint ownership while you can. It's just a recipe for disaster. Either one of you buy out the other, or sell the house while there are no tenants to worry about. If you rent it out while it's in joint ownership and things start to go awry, it will be a NIGHTMARE. Get out while the going is good.
Author CrazyMiner Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Hi PegNosePete and thanks for the reply. The last thing I would want to do is argue with her (still have feelings for her, would love to potentially try dating her again some time in the future etc etc etc), but what I don't want to happen is for her to basically not bother with the house and leave me with trying to sort everything out. The fact that she hasn't called to discuss our joint property which currently costs the two of us £800 a month in total after she phoned me last Friday and basically said "I've had to pay £1,500 since we broke up to keep you in the house" meaning she thinks I'm not doing anything is a bit frustrating to be honest! I'm going to be staying in the house and then renting out 2 of the double rooms as it makes financial sense and means I can keep an eye on the place. I don't think she won't pay, she isn't really like that. She knew we had to get some furniture for the rooms already such as 2 x chest of draws, 2 x wardrobes, and a double bed and mattress so it shouldn't be a big shock, I just wanted to ensure she was happy with the price tags seeing as she will have to pay half. I also need to get landlord insurance etc so it's not going to be a cheap ask. I've discussed selling the house with her but she is against it. She always saw the house as an investment and unfortunately I told her that I got the house valued around 3 weeks ago and all the sales agents suggested that renting now was better as they expected the value of the property to increase by around £10,000 over the next 12 months due to all the development that is going on including a new school. She has of course now seen the ££ signs and doesn't want to sell.
PegNosePete Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I don't think she won't pay, she isn't really like that. She's an EX. Who knows what she will do when her next BF comes onto the scene? He could be a druggie or a bum or abusive, and there's nothing you could do about it. I've discussed selling the house with her but she is against it. Well of course she is, if you're paying the mortgage. She's sitting pretty, hoping the housing market will improve so she will make a nice tidy profit for no effort. the sales agents suggested that renting now was better as they expected the value of the property to increase by around £10,000 over the next 12 months Well hang on a second. The mortgage is £800, so over 12 months you'll have paid almost £10k in mortgage payments plus maintenance plus insurance plus furniture etc anyway. There's no profit in there, even if it gains £10k which is far from a certainty. The estate agent waves figures around but he is not the one who will be severely out of pocket if your EX decides to make your life hell. Jointly owning a property with your EX is a risk, and a huge one at that. Sure the housing market may recover in 12 months and you MIGHT get £10k more, of which your share MIGHT be £5k. Is it really worth the risk? How much equity would be released if you sold the house, and couldn't that money be better invested in a less risky operation -- ie. one which does not rely on your EX's continued cooperation? She has of course now seen the ££ signs and doesn't want to sell. Indeed. So tell her she can buy you out. Seriously man the stress this will cause you is not worth £5k a year in potential profits.
Recommended Posts