New Relationship, Looking Towards the Future

[cs534]

Hey guys,

 

I just started "dating" this girl that I've known for about a year or so. I first met her at a big-scale event, and we were kind of just acquaintances in the beginning, until about early January this year, we got much closer, although it was more of a close friendship kind of thing. Then, about last month I guess she started having a crush on me (according to her). So then she kind of established that she likes me (or has a crush on me) last week.

I feel great, we both have been spending time (perhaps way too much time?) together for the past couple days or so.

 

Thing is, we're very comfortable around each other, we've cuddled already and we've gotten to know each other some. She says that I make her smile a lot. As for me, I smile every time she calls me or texts me. She says that she is the type of person to show a lot of affection early on, but doesn't know whether or not we should take it slow. Obviously by this, we are pretty good with direct communication. So we are puzzled as to whether or not to play it smart and take it slow or not.

Also, we're both adults so we don't really like to play those relationship "games" that always gets each party guessing and sometimes confused.

 

My main concern is that I'm just worried about the future. I've been hearing/reading stories about why it's important to take any relationship slow, because we can get burnt out. My longest relationship was about a few months, but that was only because she had to move away. I know for sure that my "interest" was still sparking towards the end of that time.

 

My goal for this current one is for it to last for a long time; she had a relationship that lasted for a few years so I guess she has more experience than I do. From what I can tell, she's very open, nurturing, and cares a lot. Only bad thing I suppose is that she's kind of a workaholic.

 

So again, I guess my question to any of you is what approach should I take, and any other advice you can give me in regards to making this a lasting relationship (ie. surprises, keep her guessing, etc).

 

Thanks

Edited May 6, 2011 by cs534

[Pianiste]

Imho it's a bit too early in the relationship to worry about how you are going to make it last as long as possible. And simply put, there is no right way to achieve that. For now you should just let it go it's natural course and see whether you two are relationship compatible, you're at the point in the relationship that could be considered the most exciting since it all is very new, so enjoy that to the fullest!

 

Of course as time goes on and you are both comfortably settled into this relationship you will most likely in a natural way give a bit more space to her. Which is an important step and shows that the foundations for a good/healthy relationship are there. But I wouldn't worry about that just yet. ;-)

[cs534]

Imho it's a bit too early in the relationship to worry about how you are going to make it last as long as possible. And simply put, there is no right way to achieve that. For now you should just let it go it's natural course and see whether you two are relationship compatible, you're at the point in the relationship that could be considered the most exciting since it all is very new, so enjoy that to the fullest!

 

Of course as time goes on and you are both comfortably settled into this relationship you will most likely in a natural way give a bit more space to her. Which is an important step and shows that the foundations for a good/healthy relationship are there. But I wouldn't worry about that just yet. ;-)

 

Thanks for the reply

 

I just wanted to add also that I believe we are both hopeless romantics haha.

 

And just plain and simple, I told her I wanted to take things slow only because I'm not a big risk taker and want to ensure as much as I can that our relationship can last. I have a sense of belief that if we take things too fast, the relationship will go *plop* and just be boring. But then again, like you said, it may be too early in the relationship.

 

Only thing of my concern at this point then is that I may run out of "romantic ideas" that spark our relationship...

[Pianiste]

You worry too much my friend. :-) If you are indeed a hopeless romantic I'm sure you will get plenty of inspiration for romantic ideas out of this relationship.

 

If it helps to reassure you, I can probably say I'm a hopeless romantic myself and have done my share of romantic surprises but I didn't have those ideas in the freezer since the first month of my relationship, they just arise at a certain point! I don't have any romantic ideas at the moment but I'm sure one will pop up again be it when watching a movie, walking down the street, doing something together with that special someone or at any other random moment. :-) It's a natural thing a hopeless romantic can't fight!

Edited May 6, 2011 by Pianiste
A funny typo :-)

[cs534]

You worry too much my friend. :-) If you are indeed a hopeless romantic I'm sure you will get plenty of inspiration for romantic ideas out of this relationship.

 

If it helps to reassure you, I can probably say I'm a hopeless romantic myself and have done my share of romantic surprises but I didn't have those ideas in the freezer since the first month of my relationship, they just arise at a certain point! I don't have any romantic ideas at the moment but I'm sure one will pop up again be it when watching a movie, walking down the street, doing something together with that special someone or at any other random moment. :-) It's a natural thing a hopeless romantic can't fight!

 

Oh jeez, I can kinda relate to you! I always come up with certain romantic/cute things to say that I never thought I would have said before! Now I just need to test myself if I can do romantic things (haven't done any yet).

Thanks for the reassuring reply, so basically I should just let things go with the flow and not restrict anything right?

[Andy_K]

She says that she is the type of person to show a lot of affection early on, but doesn't know whether or not we should take it slow. Obviously by this, we are pretty good with direct communication. So we are puzzled as to whether or not to play it smart and take it slow or not.

 

She's looking to you for leadership, not a correct answer. It's not going to matter whether you take it slow or not, it matters that she doesn't have to worry about it and you're confident in whatever route you go, without making her feel pressured.