spiderowl Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) Hi, I'm in this unusual situation and would appreciate some ideas on how to proceed. Met this guy online through a dating site. Sounds OK and we have a particular interest in common - nothing weird but I can't really say what it is for reasons I will explain. This guy has exchanged emails about our mutual interest and I think he knows what he's talking about. He's obviously studied the subject. Now he's let me know he's well known in that field, in fact very famous. I thought he was joking but, looking back at previous posts and places he's lived, it does fit - and yes, I have heard of him. He has a reputation for being a bit off-beat. If he is who he says he is, then he's a pretty wild character and known to be decidedly eccentric. Personality wise, we are probably polar opposites! So now what? We do share an interest and I would like to get to know this guy, if he is who he says he is, not because he's famous but because we have been getting on well. I would also have liked to get to know a guy who was interested in the same subject as me, but I do not want to get to know a guy who is pretending to be someone well known. That's freaky and he should be struck off the site if he's lying. Should I confront him and ask him to prove his claims? If he is genuine, it would seem rude to challenge or doubt him. On the other hand, I don't want to be taken for a fool by a nutcase. Thanks. Edited May 6, 2011 by spiderowl
Professor X Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 If he is famous in whatever field you're talking about, and you know him, than just ask for proof. Logic being that if some chick I've met over the internet would tell me "I'm Jessica Alba" I wouldn't be able to believe her until proven. Just ask him, if you haven't, that you know who he is, how famous he is, and you simply cannot believe you're talking to him right now - in a good manner, as if you're a big fan, not as if you think he's a liar. He should see it as a compliment.
Author spiderowl Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks, that sounds a good approach. Would someone in his position expect to be questioned or do you think they would take offence? I have no idea how he could provide proof either, but I guess that's for him to work out. I was pretty stunned when he said who he was and do find it hard to believe. Also, I can't see why he would tell me anyway as surely it would be better to remain incognito until you've met someone and got to know them?
Professor X Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks, that sounds a good approach. Would someone in his position expect to be questioned or do you think they would take offence? I have no idea how he could provide proof either, but I guess that's for him to work out. I was pretty stunned when he said who he was and do find it hard to believe. Also, I can't see why he would tell me anyway as surely it would be better to remain incognito until you've met someone and got to know them? He shouldn't be offended, you are strangers after all, he can't expect you to have full confidence in his words, especially if he claims to be a famous person. I have no idea either how can he prove to be who he is, the two of you can surely work something out. Why would he tell you... I don't know, can't always know why a person does a certain thing, can only guess, and my guess would be that he didn't think you'll know who he is. But at any rate, if he is as famous as you claim and you know a bit about him from the media, than you should be wary, people tend to get an ego boost from such things, that they don't really care who they hurt and use in the process.
Author spiderowl Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks for your wise words. Yes, I am a bit concerned he's just playing with me. He really doesn't need some woman he's met off the internet so maybe it's just a game, or he's a crackpot masquerading as this guy.
Author spiderowl Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Any other thoughts? I've never been in this position before.
OliveOyl Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Does this famous guy have photos on the 'net? I'm thinking bite the bullet and meet this mystery man to see if it is the same guy, if there are online photos, then it will solve it for once and all.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 It is very much within the realm of good taste and common sense to say: "Tell me how I can *know* that it is really you that I'm talking with" (if he is taken aback, then you inform him that a friend of yours, looking out for your well-being, told you that you should demand to know with certainty that it is him) In truth he should be quite content and willing to offer something that lets you know for certain that it is indeed the famous person. It isn't as if, by so doing, he would compromise his identity (as do so many online encounters when they don't intend to do so).
Author spiderowl Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Thanks SincereOnlineGuy. I do need to do that. He has quite blatantly asserted that he is the guy, so either he is or he's a loon. If my experience is anything to go by, it's more likely he's the loon, lol. Of course there is no picture, but even if he sent me his picture, he could have 'borrowed' it from the real celebrity. I bet it's some kid having me on!
Jazzari Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 You can sometimes tell by an email address. I had a similar situation, and when we exchanged email addys his came from the official site. Also, his voice over the phone was identical to what I heard on TV. He turned out to be legit. I think it's worth taking a chance on. I'd meet in a public place and take the same precautions you would with anyone else.
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