PinkChic Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Hey There. If you don’t remember me… my prince (or so I thought) broke up with me out of the clear blue due to commitment issues, week and half later I find out I am pregnant (this was about a month ago). First week he was massively freaking, saying the worst possible things (and he is NOT like that). Well, after a couple weeks he decided he wanted to be Mr. Father of the year. He insisted on being there for me and the baby… going out of his way to be involved, and to show me he is “stepping up to the plate”. After he begged me to meet him twice a week, so we can “develop a friendship for the baby” and he believed I was the only one who could help him with his commitment issues because I was the only one he has ever been able to open up to. I was definitely not for this in the beginning… I figured he was living the CP’s dream… he got to see me twice a week and not have a commitment… after he begged… I reluctantly agreed. Last week and this week, we met up and I know I always keep stressing it in my posts we have always been deeply respectful to one another… and when we met up it was at first kind of awkward and I felt myself constantly “poking digs” at him… letting him know how much he hurt me and how disappointed I was with him… I would also be lying if I said I wasn’t still doing that… I still have a lot of anger towards him for what he did to me as far as the break up… for the first time in the entirety of our relationship he looked me in the eyes and apologized for the pain he caused me. I told him I didn’t need guilt or an apology just for him to take care of his child. He continued to say that he has had a lot of regrets, he misses me and that he wish he would have tried. Numerous times he would tell me he has zero doubts that down the road he will constantly be reminded that he made the biggest mistake of his life because he doesn’t think he will ever love someone the way he loved me. He also said many other things one would believe he wanted to try again. I gave him a hint that I would work on the relationship… he then point blankly says “I’m not fully ready for that”… and he wants to develop a friendship and then access his feelings… then why say those things to me?? I truthfully want to believe and most people in my life think he is really trying to work himself out, he has openly said he got scared of how much he loved me and ran from the relationship. He has come leaps and bounds and made tremendous progress for such a serious commitment phobe… In all my break ups I have NEVER once been “friends” or anything. I always went no contact and that was that. This is obviously very different and I don’t know what to do. I told him today through text that we don’t need to be friends for you to take care of your child his response: “It would make things easier”… Any thoughts? Or any ideas of what I should do? …. I normally never ask what to do because in my heart I usually know the answer… but I’m totally lost on this one!
D-Lish Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It's a tough situation, because you are dealing with a break up and a pregnancy at the same time. As much as you might need the NC to heal- it's not going to fly with a baby on the way because it's in the best interest for your child to remain on good terms with him. No, you don't have to be friends- but you will have to learn how to communicate, work together, and make decisions together. You're in sych a tough position PC- because I know you still love him. You don't have to see him ywice a week if it's too hard on you, you can start off with once every couple of weeks. You do need support right now- and if he's willing to give you that, it could bring you closer. Maybe what's required here is baby steps?
Author PinkChic Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 It's a tough situation, because you are dealing with a break up and a pregnancy at the same time. As much as you might need the NC to heal- it's not going to fly with a baby on the way because it's in the best interest for your child to remain on good terms with him. No, you don't have to be friends- but you will have to learn how to communicate, work together, and make decisions together. You're in sych a tough position PC- because I know you still love him. You don't have to see him ywice a week if it's too hard on you, you can start off with once every couple of weeks. You do need support right now- and if he's willing to give you that, it could bring you closer. Maybe what's required here is baby steps? Thanks, D-Lish for the reply! He is being OVERLY supportive lately... everyday he texts asking how I'm feeling... he even showed up at a Dr.'s appointment last week without even being asked... I don't know what to do... I truly in my heart think he is trying to be so close so he can figure his feelings out on the relationship...
D-Lish Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks, D-Lish for the reply! He is being OVERLY supportive lately... everyday he texts asking how I'm feeling... he even showed up at a Dr.'s appointment last week without even being asked... I don't know what to do... I truly in my heart think he is trying to be so close so he can figure his feelings out on the relationship... Is that a bad thing? He does have to figure a lot of things out- it just can't be at your expense, ya' know? You two have so much to figure out- is he going to be a dad, a boyfriend, a partner...
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