mortensorchid Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I had put up a profile on OKCupid several weeks/months ago, just because. Responses have been a bit on the odd side to say the least. Many weeks ago I got I was exchanging a few messages with someone. He blew me off after a grand total of three emails. Please see the blow thread for more information and the responses of others on this forum: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t270389/ I did not respond to the email that he seemed to be saying "See ya" in. Then another week later he sends me an email again, asking more about me (telling me he likes football, baseball, etc.). I did not respond to this, he's just looking for a pen pal, I decided. Then today, I get this message from him after weeks upon weeks of silence: Hmmm, didn't remember it so long ago, but apparently I first contacted you in November of 2009. That sure seems like forever ago now. Just, ppplleeasssee, one favor: What happened to "us," as friends I mean? We seemed to get along pretty well despite the 67% thing... Did it just stop? Because it needed to, or can we still chat? Who does he think he is kidding here?! This guy is not looking for a pen pal at all, he's looking for someone whose chain he can yank! How stupid does he think I am?! This is really offensive. I have been in contact with people before in the past who say that they are busy or whatever and then poof they disappear, but a third time he's trying to contact me?!
spiderowl Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I've had similar happen to me too. I think some guys just message and are a bit casual and offhand, not investing too much, then if you respond similarly they leave it for a while. Then, they think you're not too bothered about them and try again with a similar brush off. I've done the same as you and concluded they are just messing about. I do suspect that in some cases they are poor communicators who think you will respond to a message that no longer seems 'open'. When you don't, they get spooked and wonder what they've done wrong. Some actually do want a relationship and are shooting themselves in the foot. You could point out to him exactly what happened from your point of view and see if he responds. On the other hand, there are some who are masters of push/pull techniques. I think you'd need to communicate for a bit longer before you can be sure that he falls into this category. If you find yourself communicating with a push/pull character, then beware! Such exchanges can get increasingly painful as you get drawn in and then kicked away again. I learned the hard way that these people should be avoided like the plague.
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