ChaseYng2005 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 "XXXX, Someone younger than myself, and apparently wiser asked me what I was doing today and I told him. When he asked me why I was so cold, I told him. He asked me if I loved you, and I told him. He then told me that I was right to keep my dignity, but I was wrong to keep my pride. It's not my heart that hurts in all this he said, it's my pride and self-righteousness. And the person who told me that was my inner self. The innocent and purest part of my soul. "For those who didn’t beg or plead, you have to ask yourself, did you care enough in the first place?" were words I had almost forgotten, but I do remember now. I can never be truly free and have my own closure if I don't make one last attempt to save what made me happy. I do love you, I do find you mentally, physically, and emotionally attractive, I was and still am in love with you. The apologies and other stuff are too heavy to type in an email. I'd battle Heaven and Earth for you. I'd take a bullet for you. If you want to save our partnership, then you will meet me at the rose gardens at 7:30pm. I'll be there waiting. But if you think a relationship with me is too impossible, too inharmonious, too inconceivably full of unhappiness, then please don't respond to any of this. And your nonappearance will be accepted to me as the end, and as closure. With love that I bury deep behind walls, xxxx. " I'm hoping he shows. I'm trying to do a shortened version of the whole sex and the city thing between Miranda and Steve. We have 3 years of history between us, which equals 30 years in the gay community.
nyckidd Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I do understand your point of at least trying to reason with your ex once after the breakup. BUT if he does not respond or show up I strongly recomend that you begin to heal and stop hanging on to this.
JasonRules Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 "XXXX, Someone younger than myself, and apparently wiser asked me what I was doing today and I told him. When he asked me why I was so cold, I told him. He asked me if I loved you, and I told him. He then told me that I was right to keep my dignity, but I was wrong to keep my pride. It's not my heart that hurts in all this he said, it's my pride and self-righteousness. And the person who told me that was my inner self. The innocent and purest part of my soul. "For those who didn’t beg or plead, you have to ask yourself, did you care enough in the first place?" were words I had almost forgotten, but I do remember now. I can never be truly free and have my own closure if I don't make one last attempt to save what made me happy. I do love you, I do find you mentally, physically, and emotionally attractive, I was and still am in love with you. The apologies and other stuff are too heavy to type in an email. I'd battle Heaven and Earth for you. I'd take a bullet for you. If you want to save our partnership, then you will meet me at the rose gardens at 7:30pm. I'll be there waiting. But if you think a relationship with me is too impossible, too inharmonious, too inconceivably full of unhappiness, then please don't respond to any of this. And your nonappearance will be accepted to me as the end, and as closure. With love that I bury deep behind walls, xxxx. " I'm hoping he shows. I'm trying to do a shortened version of the whole sex and the city thing between Miranda and Steve. We have 3 years of history between us, which equals 30 years in the gay community. I can tell you right off the bat, that he/she won't show up. Sending these types of emails/letters etc after the break up only worsens your chances of reconciliation. These types of letters you give during the breakup, not after the fact. In any case, I hope he/she shows up and you can have some type of closure.
Popondetta Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I don't know the story behind the breakup but I think that was a nice email. (I'd love to receive it, but then again I'm the dumpee). I think your words are nice in that you say you love him and want to try again, but that you also will accept it if he doesn't show up or wanna try again. I think it's good that you try this and hopefully you'll get closure if he doesn't show up. Hopefully he'll show up though. We'll be here for you if things don't go as planned. I wish you all the best
Gisele Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I think it took a lot of courage to send that email. I would emphasise again what someone said above me, not to get your hopes up that he will show up. But you clearly love this man, and i think i understand that you want to give one last, clear fight before you accept things are over, to prevent the dreaded 'what ifs' I really, truly hope he shows up. Fingers crossed for you
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 The rose gardens is where he proposed to me nearly 3 years ago.
sandman223 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I can tell you right off the bat, that he/she won't show up. Sending these types of emails/letters etc after the break up only worsens your chances of reconciliation. These types of letters you give during the breakup, not after the fact. In any case, I hope he/she shows up and you can have some type of closure. I agree with Jason. I made the mistake of sending an email to my ex after a while of NC. It didn't help, it only allowed me to have my ex reiterate the "reasons" that we would never work. From my experience, this will only lead to a setback. But It seems that its too late, so I sincerely hope you are the exception to the rule, and you get a sense of closure out of it.
robkris8079 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I would love to send or receive that. My now ex is just so confused she doesn't know if she loves me. If I sent that she would most likely show up. Her and all her confusion too. I would be right back where I started. But I say to you good luck. No matter the outcome you will be heading somewhere and not in limbo.
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 "XXXX, Someone younger than myself, and apparently wiser asked me what I was doing today and I told him. When he asked me why I was so cold, I told him. He asked me if I loved you, and I told him. He then told me that I was right to keep my dignity, but I was wrong to keep my pride. It's not my heart that hurts in all this he said, it's my pride and self-righteousness. And the person who told me that was my inner self. The innocent and purest part of my soul. "For those who didn’t beg or plead, you have to ask yourself, did you care enough in the first place?" were words I had almost forgotten, but I do remember now. I can never be truly free and have my own closure if I don't make one last attempt to save what made me happy. I do love you, I do find you mentally, physically, and emotionally attractive, I was and still am in love with you. The apologies and other stuff are too heavy to type in an email. I'd battle Heaven and Earth for you. I'd take a bullet for you. If you want to save our partnership, then you will meet me at the rose gardens at 7:30pm. I'll be there waiting. But if you think a relationship with me is too impossible, too inharmonious, too inconceivably full of unhappiness, then please don't respond to any of this. And your nonappearance will be accepted to me as the end, and as closure. With love that I bury deep behind walls, xxxx. " I'm hoping he shows. I'm trying to do a shortened version of the whole sex and the city thing between Miranda and Steve. We have 3 years of history between us, which equals 30 years in the gay community. I have done this same thing..well a version of it twice with my current ex and once with my previous ex...they never once showed.
geegirl Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Great for the dumpee to receive this but it only pushes the dumper away. Overkill.
Trovador Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I also hope you get the outcome you wish, but realistically your email, nicely worded as it is, is just an ultimatum and they never work, especially when you don't have any power on the relationship... As wiser posters say, your ex will never give you the closure you need... it's you the one who has to close the circle... Please keep us posted...
Fufu Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 If he comes, below are what I thought it will happen. (A) He shows up 1. He wants you back truly 2. He comes just to tell you when he is right to break up with you. or (B) He does not show up only 1. He believes in his decision
Author ChaseYng2005 Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 Conclusion: He did not show. He emailed me back and told me he still loves me and I make him happy, but we need time apart, and to grow as friends. He said he is no longer in love with me though. I shrugged it off. Like I said, I was simply making an ATTEMPT because before I did not make any attempt at all to get him back. With one attempt I am satisfied. I am done with him and I blocked his number on my phone to start a permanent NC. And I hope he never contacts me for any kind of help, especially financial help. I was ALWAYS bailing him out of money problems and helping pay his mortgage. I wish him the best in finding a reliable roommate in the next few days. And over the past few days I have socialized my ass off. I met a new guy and he makes me laugh constantly. We spent last night together and plan on smoking a bowl and hanging out tonight. Life is good. He saw me and the new guy in the club last night and he bolted. Why? I have no idea. But I am in school, have a career already, and am in the processes of owning my own home, and already a new guy in the picture. So deuces to the ex.
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