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GF wants to DATE this guy she LIKES before we get married.

xhollister20x

By xhollister20x
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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xhollister20x New Member

xhollister20x

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Thank you all for taking your time to read this. please i need help and advice, please read it all, and i promise to be your friend for a long time.

 

I met my gf at high school, it was a love at first sight thing. met her around August and got together on December of 2007. I gave her the world, i treated her with love and respect, i was ur typical and rare nice guy. Flash Forward to today, 3 years 4 months. together. And our relationship has fallen apart.

All thanks to FACEBOOK.

 

We broke up around early January of this year, it didnt take not even 2 days, but someone tried to enter her life while she was weak, (and too make it worse I've held a grudge with this guy since last year) and next thing i knew they were calling each other. I failed to do the NC rule, I eventually gave up on her around Febuary the week of valentimes day, I was ready to meet new girls, she however came back into my life and tried to make things right, she apologized i forgave her....

 

The thing is that the guy lives In another state close by to ours. She was going to leave me for a long distance relationship. She got back with me, until she told me that she had feelings for him recently. I soon found out that when she took me back she was still talking to him on facebook behind my back, to top it off she was being really flirty with him and other guys. She tells me shes confused, and i finally did the NC on her, i didn't want her in my life anymore.

 

We broke up and on that week i went out all week with my friends, she finally called me on sundae saying that she would change for me, today is Thursday, she told me that she misses him, even though SHE HAS NOT SEEN HIM. to make it worse, she said that she knows she wants to marry me! but she wants to date him before she commits to me, I told her no and to leave me alone, If she loved me shouldn't have to feel that way. i wasn't going to lose her to him. what do u guys think i should do.:confused:

Edited by xhollister20x
bl22 Established Member

bl22

Posted
Posted
Thank you all for taking your time to read this. please i need help and advice, please read it all, and i promise to be your friend for a long time.

 

I met my gf at high school, it was a love at first sight thing. met her around August and got together on December of 2007. I gave her the world, i treated her with love and respect, i was ur typical and rare nice guy. Flash Forward to today, 3 years 4 months. together. And our relationship has fallen apart.

All thanks to FACEBOOK.

 

We broke up around early January of this year, it didnt take not even 2 days, but someone tried to enter her life while she was weak, (and too make it worse I've held a grudge with this guy since last year) and next thing i knew they were calling each other. I failed to do the NC rule, I eventually gave up on her around Febuary the week of valentimes day, I was ready to meet new girls, she however came back into my life and tried to make things right, she apologized i forgave her....

 

The thing is that the guy lives In another state close by to ours. She was going to leave me for a long distance relationship. She got back with me, until she told me that she had feelings for him recently. I soon found out that when she took me back she was still talking to him on facebook behind my back, to top it off she was being really flirty with him and other guys. She tells me shes confused, and i finally did the NC on her, i didn't want her in my life anymore.

 

We broke up and on that week i went out all week with my friends, she finally called me on sundae saying that she would change for me, today is Thursday, she told me that she misses him, even though SHE HAS NOT SEEN HIM. to make it worse, she said that she knows she wants to marry me! but she wants to date him before she commits to me, I told her no and to leave me alone, If she loved me shouldn't have to feel that way. i wasn't going to lose her to him. what do u guys think i should do.:confused:

 

 

Hey sorry to hear this but Ive gotta say its over. Sounds same as what I went through, check through my early posts if you want to read my story. Once they get into the mindset of 'the grass is greener' then its safe to say your relationship is over. It will take them a hell of a lot of time to realise its not greener because everything shes doin with this new guy is new and fresh.

 

Seriously dont bother taking her calls anymore you're simple feeding her ego, and everytime you do this, she loses a little more respect for you.

Give it time and you'll recover from this. You can't be doing with people who pull this sort of thing.

JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

Posted
Posted

Tell her "Actually, that will work out great because I have in mind 3-4 girls I would like to date before we get married". Then hang up in a cool manner.

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xhollister20x New Member

xhollister20x

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i agree with you jason, My gf is afraid of seeing me with someone else and it would kill her. Maybe she needs a reality check that she will lose someone important in her life

JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

Posted
Posted
i agree with you jason, My gf is afraid of seeing me with someone else and it would kill her. Maybe she needs a reality check that she will lose someone important in her life

 

 

Yea, whatever she says just agree with it and act cool. Say that's great because you'd like to date 3-4 women as well. And then say you have to go because you have another call.

homebrew Established Member

homebrew

Posted
Posted

Wait till you hear all the defenders of Facebook come on here!

 

How many posts do you see where Facebook is used as a weapon against Exes?

 

How many posts on here do you see where Facebook causes relationship problems?

 

Go look through the divorce forum and tell me how many marriages are ruined because of Facebook.

 

How many horror stories have we heard of friends and family that have had disagreements, discussions, fights and arguments over Facebook?

 

How many Exes or other inappropriate people have contacted you on your Facebook? Do you think your BF / GF are not getting the same?

 

Relationships are hard enough as it is... Why complicate them further by using Facebook?

 

Facebook - Relationship Killer / Relationship Drama / Home Wrecker

loverboy1984 Established Member

loverboy1984

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Posted

I think you need to date many woman until you realize how much better things are out there than your current confused, untrustworthy girlfriend.

 

Imagine the freedom of trying any girl you like and picking the right one instead of settling for this one.

 

dont drive a salvage title car when you can shop around for a new car.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

Posted
Posted

If it hurts, stop doing it.

poorguy Established Member

poorguy

Posted
Posted
Wait till you hear all the defenders of Facebook come on here!

 

How many posts do you see where Facebook is used as a weapon against Exes?

 

How many posts on here do you see where Facebook causes relationship problems?

 

Go look through the divorce forum and tell me how many marriages are ruined because of Facebook.

 

How many horror stories have we heard of friends and family that have had disagreements, discussions, fights and arguments over Facebook?

 

How many Exes or other inappropriate people have contacted you on your Facebook? Do you think your BF / GF are not getting the same?

 

Relationships are hard enough as it is... Why complicate them further by using Facebook?

 

Facebook - Relationship Killer / Relationship Drama / Home Wrecker

 

 

Amen to this!!! Facebook is a relationship/friendship killer. If Facebook could be charged in court with something in the same fake world it exists in...It would be multiple counts of Murder One of relationships..there would be several assault charges too

PegNosePete Established Member

PegNosePete

Posted
Posted
Amen to this!!! Facebook is a relationship/friendship killer. If Facebook could be charged in court with something in the same fake world it exists in...It would be multiple counts of Murder One of relationships..there would be several assault charges too

No, facebook is not a relationship killer. People are relationship killers. It's people who use facebook, it doesn't do anything by itself. It's like trying to sue Colt because you got shot by one of their guns. Good luck with that.

 

Anyway. OP, you need to end things with this train wreck of a relationship. She does not love you. Just end it dude. If you want to play games as Jason suggests then go for it but the mature thing to do is just walk away.

JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

Posted
Posted
No, facebook is not a relationship killer. People are relationship killers. It's people who use facebook, it doesn't do anything by itself. It's like trying to sue Colt because you got shot by one of their guns. Good luck with that.

 

Anyway. OP, you need to end things with this train wreck of a relationship. She does not love you. Just end it dude. If you want to play games as Jason suggests then go for it but the mature thing to do is just walk away.

 

 

All is fair in love and war...don't forget that

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Run dude! Run as fast as you can. She assumes a lot! "I'm just gonna get my freak on with this guy and as soon as I'm ready, I'll come back. So, just be waiting for me." REALLY!! This is what she thinking!!!

 

Dude, time to find a girl that KNOWS how to treat her man...

JasonRules Established Member

JasonRules

Posted
Posted
Run dude! Run as fast as you can. She assumes a lot! "I'm just gonna get my freak on with this guy and as soon as I'm ready, I'll come back. So, just be waiting for me." REALLY!! This is what she thinking!!!

 

Dude, time to find a girl that KNOWS how to treat her man...

 

 

I agree with Chi...any woman who would even say things like this is an utter tool and imbecile in my book.

poorguy Established Member

poorguy

Posted
Posted
No, facebook is not a relationship killer. People are relationship killers. It's people who use facebook, it doesn't do anything by itself. It's like trying to sue Colt because you got shot by one of their guns. Good luck with that.

 

Anyway. OP, you need to end things with this train wreck of a relationship. She does not love you. Just end it dude. If you want to play games as Jason suggests then go for it but the mature thing to do is just walk away.

 

Facebook is a tool that brings out the worst in people in certain curcimstances...Guns alone don't bring out the worst in people...but Facebook does...It's why divorce attorneys call it exhibit A

Trimmer Established Member

Trimmer

Posted
Posted
Wait till you hear all the defenders of Facebook come on here!

 

How many posts do you see where Facebook is used as a weapon against Exes?

 

Well I'm not going to "defend" Facebook, but I will point out that if you are saying "Facebook took away my partner..." then you are in denial, and allowing your focus to be distracted from the fact that Facebook was a TOOL - perhaps a dangerous one - that allowed a character flaw to blossom into a broken relationship.

 

If you think "if it weren't for Facebook, my partner would be a different person," you are wrong, and once again, in denial.

 

No matter what external element you blame for bringing temptation to your doorstep - whether it be Facebook, the automobile, the cell phone, cheap motel rooms, or our society's willingness to allow women to venture out alone, in public, without veils - the real issue at the root of it is that your partner chose to give in to the temptation. I know that's a harder truth to really face up to than just thinking "it's Facebook's fault", but it's the truth that really matters.

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xhollister20x New Member

xhollister20x

Posted
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Ok everyone so i had a talk with my girlfriend and straighten everything out. I told her that i respect whatever choice she wants, but If she leaves me for the other guy, I was going to walk away forever. Meaning no more contact or anything. She apparently told me she got a huge reality check and realized that she didnt want to lose me.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

Posted
Posted
Ok everyone so i had a talk with my girlfriend and straighten everything out. I told her that i respect whatever choice she wants, but If she leaves me for the other guy, I was going to walk away forever. Meaning no more contact or anything. She apparently told me she got a huge reality check and realized that she didnt want to lose me.

 

Keep on eye on her because people like this often go behind your back.

homebrew Established Member

homebrew

Posted
Posted (edited)
Well I'm not going to "defend" Facebook, but I will point out that if you are saying "Facebook took away my partner..." then you are in denial, and allowing your focus to be distracted from the fact that Facebook was a TOOL - perhaps a dangerous one - that allowed a character flaw to blossom into a broken relationship.

 

If you think "if it weren't for Facebook, my partner would be a different person," you are wrong, and once again, in denial.

 

No matter what external element you blame for bringing temptation to your doorstep - whether it be Facebook, the automobile, the cell phone, cheap motel rooms, or our society's willingness to allow women to venture out alone, in public, without veils - the real issue at the root of it is that your partner chose to give in to the temptation. I know that's a harder truth to really face up to than just thinking "it's Facebook's fault", but it's the truth that really matters.

 

I agree with what you are saying about it not being Facebook's fault... but let me use another example and see if you see things the way I do.

 

I travel a lot for my job. I could go to the hotel bar every night. My intentions of going would be to go and hang out with my co-workers, have a drink and relax. Totally harmless and my intentions are not to misbehave.

 

Well what I discovered in doing that is this... There are usually single women there also and their motives and intentions are not the same as mine. I usually get hit on and many occasions I have been ask to go up to their hotel room, even when they new full well that I had a GF. Most of them were either married or had a BF themselves.

 

So what did I decide to do?

 

I decided that I would STOP GOING to the hotel bar! My reasoning... I am not going to volunteer to put myself in a situation where people don't care or respect me or my relationship, much less there own. By doing this, my GF does not have to worry about me making a mistake and frankly, either do I.

 

So take that situation and apply it to Facebook... To me the bad and potential to harm my relationship outweighs any positive that I could take away from using Facebook.

 

Don't try and give me the you don't have a phone and email line either. Those are required to have / get a job. I don't know of a company that blocks or forbids you from having a work email or phone where you work. However, most companies do block Facebook.

 

Has there ever been any recored drama, mistrust, miscommunication, misunderstanding, break up, jealousy, discussion, argument, debate, fight for a person not using / wanting Facebook? I don't know of any... do you?

 

How many bad stories do you see or hear from your friends, family, co-workers, etc. because of the use of Facebook?

 

I guess I am just a simple man... To me, relationships are hard enough as it is... Not having Facebook (more or less, being in a hotel bar 24/7) is one less thing for me or my GF to worry about...

 

Funny... Most of, if not all of the women I know (and I know plenty) have told me that they wished their BF / Husband / etc. didn't have / use Facebook.

 

I wonder why that is?

Edited by homebrew
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