orion1010 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I've had 3 dates in a row the the new guy and there are no plans for the 4th date. I've tried to make plans for Friday and he said he has to work. We has already made plans for friday for dinner at my place but he said he forgot he had to work. He said he was really sorry and wanted to make it up to me. He didn't come back and say what about this day?? Yet he texts me everyday before work to tell me to have a great day and text me right after work to ask how my day was. Then we exchange texts for awile at night then off to bed to repeat it the next day. It's been 4 days since I've seen him and he still hasn't made an attempt to see me again yet will text me alot in between. He has told me on our dates that he likes me and wants to find someone to settle down with and be in a relationship with. Yet, he makes no attempt to see me again. Just text messages, not even phone calls. Side note: We met last year and have hung out in mutal social situations so we are not complete strangers. When we met we both felt attraction for each other but were both involved with others. Guys-does this mean he may be unsure or am I reading too much into this? Or should I move on for now or just pull back a little bit. Should I just stop responding to his texts? Remember, I'm new to dating agian so go easy on me.. lol Thanks!
GreenVista Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Don't ask him to meet again. If he wants to, all he has to do is say. Leave it at least 2 weeks before asking again ONCE more.
refurb Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 One of two possibilities: 1. He really is that busy and too stupid to realize you'll lose interest if he doesn't try harder (not trying to be funny, I've been that busy before). 2. He's not that interested. Luckily, not matter which one is true, the right course of action is: ** Stop putting any effort in. You'll get your answer pretty quick. 3 dates is enough to know if someone is worth putting more effort into. RF
SJC2008 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I would't stop responding to his texts, that gets into playing games (I'm not scolding you). He must like you if he's texting you daily. Give it a few more days then drop a "hey you never made up for your broken date" text and see how he responds. Also, since you all have had three dates, mabye it's your turn to ask him out.
SJC2008 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I forgot to say, if you don't like texting too much, TELL him.
SJC2008 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 "I've tried to make plans for Friday and he said he has to work. We has already made plans for friday for dinner at my place but he said he forgot he had to work. He said he was really sorry and wanted to make it up to me." Sorry, I read too fast. The ball is definately in his court.
Author orion1010 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Well.. this guy is out the window: 2:04 pm Me: Hey cutie, how is your day? 2:12 pm Him:Hey! it's good so far. going by fast. urs? 2:20 pm Me: Just started and naot a bad start 2:22 pm Hiim: Good to hear, how was your movie last night? 2:33 pm Me: would have been bettter with you. 2:42 pm him: i woulda distracted you tho! HAHA 2:49 pm ME: perhaps. but that is a good thing in a way. 2:54 pm Him: I aggree! 4:48 pm Him: ok, now today is dragging on 5:02 pm me: ugh. me too. I really want to let lose and have glass of wine tonight. High stress, busy work week
Survivor12 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Sorry, but I don't see what is wrong with that exchange. If you're referring to the fact that he didn't pick up on your suggestion, consider two things: a) since up to this point you have been the one to initiate seeing each other, he may assume that if you wanted to "let loose and have a glass of wine" with him, you would have asked & b) if the 3 dates that you've had have been in a short period of time, he may simply need some personal "down time" or want to slow the pace a bit. How long ago was your last date & how many days were in between the dates you've had? Also, where did you go/what did you do on your dates? Your answers to those questions may help in offering insight.
Author orion1010 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Well.. this guy is out the window: here is our text convo yesterday. spirling down hill...... 2:04 pm Me: Hey cutie, how is your day? 2:12 pm Him:Hey! it's good so far. going by fast. urs? 2:20 pm Me: Just started and naot a bad start 2:22 pm Hiim: Good to hear, how was your movie last night? 2:33 pm Me: would have been bettter with you. 2:42 pm him: i woulda distracted you tho! HAHA 2:49 pm ME: perhaps. but that is a good thing in a way. 2:54 pm Him: I aggree! 4:48 pm Him: ok, now today is dragging on 5:02 pm me: ugh. me too. I really want to let lose and have glass of wine tonight. High stress, busy work week 5:11 pm him: several glasses of wine? lol 5:15 pm me: why not. lol.time to let lose. wanna join me? 5:20 pm him: i gotta bowl in aa tourney. lol.. last one of the year. i swear 8:34 pm him: u upset with me? 8:36 pm me: no just busy at work 8:39 pm him: oh. ok wasn't sure 9:59 pm him: how's the drinking going 9:59 pm me: still at work 1000 pm him: thought you were done at 9? 1000 on me: no 10 on thurs 1012 pm him: yay! your done! lol 1013 pm me: yeah, playin slots for a bit to unwind then going home 1014 pm him: hope you win big! 1014 pm me: Never do! 1017 pm him: yeah, me either, I like playing blackjack 1026 pm him: I'm sorry im so busy 1032 pm me: It's ok. i just think we wont have much time to get to know each other. I would never ask you to stop doing the things you like. 1035 pm him: Well it's never easy with my schedule. it will be a little better now tho 1059 pm him: Next friday for our dinner? 1102 pm me: Jake, I think we want different things. 1127 pm me: I don't want weirdness. you didn't respond to me. im sorry but getting to know someone or dating via text msg isnt for me. i like you but we just don't have time. 1131 pm him: when didn't i respond? 1131 pm me: to my last msg 1133 pm him: well i never got your last msg then...i asked you if you wanted to do our dinner next friday 1134 pm me: I said we are looking for different things. that msg 1134 pm him: I never got that msg 1137 pm him: I think we want the same thing but different things out of the relationship.. which really sucsk b/c i really like you. 1139 pm me: I really like you too. but i guess what do you want if you think we want different things yet the same thing? 1142 pm him: Well. i wanna settle down and all that but when you said you didn't want ur own kids definitly made me think a little bc i want my own children 1142 pm me: ugh..that is something id give to a guy im married to. but we don't have any business talking about that yet. 1145 pm him: well you just mentioned you weren't ever for it and it was somethign i needed to concider before we went further. 1147 pm me: Im not for what it takes to go through it nt if i met i guy i really loved and was married to then i would give him children. but i guess you shold have asked more questions. 1149 pm him: well you made it sound like you would only have kids if it was an accident... so i just dropped it. 1151 pm me: yeah. right now. we are not talking about long term serious marrige stuff here. i was avoiding too much serious talk. 1154 pm him: i understand. idk.. just worried now. i don't want you to have kids just bc the guy wants that and you'll give him that. ya know? kids should be a mutual thing. 1157 pm me: I know and I'm married or in love yet to go there. I never wanted one utnil then. That's my condition. i don't want to be a single mom. 1159 pm me: can you just call me? 1202 am him: well you should have said that. you made it sould completly out of the question unless it was an accident... we can talk about it later k? im off to bed. 1205 am me: you have no idea who i am. not talking abou this later. lets just be friends and not let weirdness come between us. 1206 am him: if that's what you want. 1215 am him: Take care of yourself k? I'll find what your looking for. i know you will. 1216 am me: you do the same. thanks. 1220 am him: whoops.. meant i know you will.. not i'll lol what do you guys think?
Author orion1010 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 One of two possibilities: 1. He really is that busy and too stupid to realize you'll lose interest if he doesn't try harder (not trying to be funny, I've been that busy before). 2. He's not that interested. Luckily, not matter which one is true, the right course of action is: ** Stop putting any effort in. You'll get your answer pretty quick. 3 dates is enough to know if someone is worth putting more effort into. RF we had 3 dates in a row. 1st night was with mutual friends. out and about (friday) 2nd movie night at my place (sat) 3rd mvoie night at my palce (sun) then just texting all week. sunday we had alittle kid talk. he brought it up. i wasn't for having them now. he asked if i did get prego now, would i abort. i said not at this point in my life. no marrige talk was mentioned. i didn't want to to too deeply about kids yet. then after sunday... he was tooo busy.. He was totally falling for me during our dates.. then the kids talk..then suddenly he was too busy and i couldn't figure out why until last night. just too much for me too fast about the kids thing so i just calling the entire thing off. when i date someone, i can't go fast then back off and text then see each other two weeks later like he was trying to plan dinner next friday. that's over a week away. if i guy really likes me, he will make time once during the week, maybe twice for a couple hours to show me he likes me. that's my thought. so.. that's why i just wanted to be friends. didn't want to tie up my emotions into a text type relationship where i only see the guy here or there.
Yookie Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 After reading that entire text conversation I think you did the right thing by ending it. Clearly he dodged a phone call with a BS excuse and then bringing up that whole thing about having kids... well that sounded like a diversion.
Author orion1010 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks for your thoughts. seems like this came out of left field. On monday he was very lovey dovey saying i miss you and telling me that a guy who commented on my facebook should keep his hands off. He said, "tell that joe guy on your facebook hands off". then by thursday. no text first and brings up the kids thing?? I was very confused by the way he kind of changed in just a few short days of not seeing each other. also not even being able to call me to just quick clear some things up made me just call it quits.
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