Lost all hope - dumped by a (turns out, recently separated) man

[LostAllHope]

Not to sound too dramatic or anything...!

But.

 

I've been used, and then tossed aside, by a man who actively showed interest in me. Won me over after I came to realise he had a huge percentage of stuff that's just fine by me. Asked me if I was single ( I am). When I asked him "What about you?", he said "I'm separated".

 

He seemed quite lovestruck with me at that time; we've had some excellent times together, he's my first real 'love interest' in 9 years.

 

One Fine Day - turns out his wife ( who was overseas) wants to return to him ( and the marriage) permamnently (his words).

 

When I asked him then how long he'd been separted - his answer stunned me - it turns out to be One Month. One Month! that's an argument! Not a separation.

 

Now they're living the long-time married couple life, and me - I've been cut out of the picture. He didn't take my two calls and I stopped endorsing his presence with any more.

 

But - I am devastated and honestly don't want to EVER trust a man again. I felt the deepest love I've felt for soomeone with him - and never had a chance to express it. I'm angry and miffed and detets being ignored now

 

I did show some spine - and, ahem - Called His Wife ...

[TaraMaiden]

.....And how did that little piece of 'payback' go down...?

[Mimolicious]

All that over "one month"? Wait, because I am assuming this is the same amount of time that you lasted with him. Am I assuming wrong?

 

I seriously don't get it.

 

Maybe you took it a bit too serious and didn't see it for what it was?

 

Like Tara said, how did that go?

[just_some_guy]

How much time did you spend with him? Seems kind of "bunny-boiler" to me.

[LostAllHope]

My post was very brief, sorry if it comes across as a bunny boiler (!!!) Yikes

 

I believe that he was permamently separated - as in separated for many years ( 10/ 20?) and SINGLE. As in available. His interest in me, coming to my town to visit me and wanting to spend with me - all the normal stuff you associate with being romanced/expressing interest in someone special... the separated for (just( one month revelation came towards the end of the relationship. All that time I was told that she had completely lost interest in sex after the kids arrived ( and yes I've seen this in many of my girlfriends' marriages where they lose interest in sex after baby, and don;t ever seem to re-kindle the interest - leaving the husband to hunt for other women)

If I'd known at the beginning that the 'separation' was just a month old ( if there ever was indeed a separation, which I doubt now!), I'd have told him to F off at that point.

 

The call to his wife - many moons later - was after being left hurt, humiliated and wanting to know whether the ********* was truly separated. From his (turns out, still very married,clueless) wife's response I gather that she had NO clue that there was any 'separation.

 

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I wanted an answer. is that so terrible/ Not to sit back and say - ok please walk over the 2 inches of me you have not walked over yet, please screw me over again? I've put up with lies from this man, we shared weekends together ( at his place and mine). We socialised together. We were seen as a couple - were even teased about getting married. All this while the wife was abroad. he started wanting me to live the lie that he had a reputation and a job to protect ( hah) and wanted me to (for eg) enter a social event "five minutes after him" (his words) so no-one would suspect that he and I were together.

 

You still think that *I* and the one who should be apologising to a liar and a cheater?????!

 

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Is this clearer?

[Little Red Hen]

I think it was okay to let his wife know he is a cheater. If my husband was messing around, I would want to know.

 

But I still don't see your answer for how long you two were together? You said you called his wife "many moons later." How many "moons"? How long ago did all of this happen? If you dated him, then found out he was married, then waited a long time to call his wife, why are you still upset about it? Can you give us a timeline?

Edited May 6, 2011 by Little Red Hen
To add a question.