I would like to hear your two cents regarding my situation if you don't mind ^_^

[fearless1]

Hey there everyone ^_^ I'm sort of new here, just registered today but I've been lurking around for more than a week now. The reason why I didn't want to register for this right away was because unconsciously I was thinking that perhaps posting about my ex would just make me think about that person more... something like that. But today is different, I figured I need to let this out and stop acting like I’m okay. You see, our first anniversary was supposed to be more than a week ago. We had a blissful roller-coaster relationship for almost a year. We loved each other too much. To make the story short, we had several petty break-ups before, some were initiated by my ex vice versa, but we always found our way to each other again however this one is different... This is the first serious one.., I broke it off because of some issues, I was tired of our drama, and the merry go round. But after a week I pleaded my way back, that I was sorry. This time, my ex turned into a stone already. I did all the pleading, weeping, I didn’t even let my pride stop me. But the moment that hit me was when I heard these words "I love you but we can't be together anymore, I cannot commit to you no more" that broke me... even wanted to be friends with me but I said that it's not a good idea and so after that I immediately went to strict No Contact, at that time I didn’t even have a clue that there’s such a thing like NC out there I thought I just needed to vanish. 12 days after... I was bombarded by texts like "I miss you so much, I want to forget you but I can't" and blaming me for not responding, also was trying to get me jealous by mentioning someone else. So at day 13th I had to break NC. I thought one reply from me wouldn’t hurt. I said "Hi, I apologize for the delay in replying I've been really busy, I'm curious as to why you wanted to talk? If it's trying us again I "might" be interested in discussing it but if you just wanna catch up then I think it is best that we leave everything as they are, Take care." A few minutes after my ex replied with something like "Yea, it's good to know that you are doing well. I wish I could say the same thing. Waiting for your reply way futile, it's nothing to you. I want to forget you but I'm finding it hard to really forget you" I did not respond because what could hurt more than someone missing you so bad and still it's not enough for them to be with you again, what could hurt more than hearing that they love you but cannot commit to you. I wouldn't settle for the "friend's with benefits thingy or the fubu set up" Today was supposed to be my 22nd day of strict NC but because that happened I'm in my 10th day, second try. I'd like to hear your thoughts and opinions about this; it would be very much appreciated to hear your point of views, 'Cause I'm kind of lost right now. There are days were I feel like I'm over it, that I have moved on but then there are days like today that it still hurts and I terribly miss my ex so freakin’ much Which I think is perfectly normal but still it sucks bigtime.