Lilmisus Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My first 'boyfriend', was about....7(?) years ago, during my freshman year of high school. He was my best friend for a couple years before and after that time, but he was also my first "love" if you could really describe the way I felt towards him as that. We both sure thought we were in love at the time, but I'm still unsure. He was the first guy to ever tell me he loved me (countless times a day), to make future plans with me, and who seemed to really get me. He honestly helped change my life for the better, and I still thank God for bringing him into my life..he was (is) just a great person. But, I keep finding myself checking his Facebook from time to time (only form of connection we have). Never stopped since we lost our friendship years ago. But it's just strange, always seeing how we are online at the same time, and wishing I could just shoot him a message, without looking like a creep. When his birthday came by a couple of months ago, I had to calm the nerves and practically force myself to wish him a simple "happy birthday!" I kept worrying that he would think it was weird that after all those years, I finally messaged him again, and block me He didn't of course though. It's easy to tell that he still has the same sense of humor and personality as he did 7 years ago, and that just makes me want him back in my life and miss him more than anything else. Plus you know... the fact that he turned into quite the looker only makes it harder I'm just wondering, do you ever really get over your first "love" even if it wasn't true love? Is how I've been normal?
Eeyore79 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My first love was about fifteen years ago, and he still has a special place in my heart. As an adult I can see that we're not compatible and a relationship between us wouldn't work, plus he didn't exactly age well, so I don't desire a reunion. But still I find it difficult to completely cut contact with him; I guess he reminds me of my youth and innocence. I also have this strange desire to see how his life turns out, simply because we go back such a long way and nobody else has been in my life as long as he has. We rarely see each other; our paths cross perhaps once every five years or so, and we occasionally post on Facebook or telephone each other once every couple of years. I am not in love with him. I just want to know him when we are old people, so I can smile and say "Remember when we were seventeen?"
TaraMaiden Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 God yes... At the time, I thought the sun shone out of his profundis... Now? He was a lovely guy, but really, I've done a whole lot better, and I never think about him at all. I met him again about 8 years ago, at the house of the girl who introduced us. He's still great friends with her....it was very nice to chat, and catch up - but there was no reminiscing, and frankly, we were both cool with it. Very..."*shrug*, so what?"
Author Lilmisus Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 God yes... At the time, I thought the sun shone out of his profundis... Now? He was a lovely guy, but really, I've done a whole lot better, and I never think about him at all. I met him again about 8 years ago, at the house of the girl who introduced us. He's still great friends with her....it was very nice to chat, and catch up - but there was no reminiscing, and frankly, we were both cool with it. Very..."*shrug*, so what?" See, part of me wonders if it's because I have yet to really do better than him. Thus far, I've only done much, much worse. Granted, I'm only 20, and have yet to really experience my fair share of guys, so I have to give it time still Still though, he didn't screw up at all in my book, in the few years that we were close with one another, and in the time we were together. Another part of me wonders if having my recent ex treat me so horribly just makes me miss Mr. First Love even more..but, I guess only time will tell. Till then, it will be hard to resist hitting him up on the FB in hopes to start things up with him again. He might be best left as a memory..
Popondetta Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 You will get over him! What you think you miss about him is just an illusion of what COULD be, mixed with good memories from when you were younger. I din't quite understand everything in you post...Did you message him and then he blocked you? If you haven't messaged him then I'd say go for it. Why not try contacting him.
hurley21 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 It isn't necessarily your first love that you can't get over. Its the first person you loved that you COULDN'T have. I still check in on the first guy I loved that I was involved with, but I would never get back together with him. However, the first guy I fell for, who didn't reciprocate, I think of him all the time, even when I am in other relationships. He just stuck with me.
Romeofud Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My first 'boyfriend', was about....7(?) years ago, during my freshman year of high school. He was my best friend for a couple years before and after that time, but he was also my first "love" if you could really describe the way I felt towards him as that. We both sure thought we were in love at the time, but I'm still unsure. He was the first guy to ever tell me he loved me (countless times a day), to make future plans with me, and who seemed to really get me. He honestly helped change my life for the better, and I still thank God for bringing him into my life..he was (is) just a great person. But, I keep finding myself checking his Facebook from time to time (only form of connection we have). Never stopped since we lost our friendship years ago. But it's just strange, always seeing how we are online at the same time, and wishing I could just shoot him a message, without looking like a creep. When his birthday came by a couple of months ago, I had to calm the nerves and practically force myself to wish him a simple "happy birthday!" I kept worrying that he would think it was weird that after all those years, I finally messaged him again, and block me He didn't of course though. It's easy to tell that he still has the same sense of humor and personality as he did 7 years ago, and that just makes me want him back in my life and miss him more than anything else. Plus you know... the fact that he turned into quite the looker only makes it harder I'm just wondering, do you ever really get over your first "love" even if it wasn't true love? Is how I've been normal? I'm not gonna lie, but I always ponder my ex. She was a sexy, short, and curvy Italian babe from sheepshead. If she's on here, she knows who she is lol. I've dated and messed w/ chicks since her, but after having her in my bed, I always fancy her return one day. She was that good.
Author Lilmisus Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 You will get over him! What you think you miss about him is just an illusion of what COULD be, mixed with good memories from when you were younger. I din't quite understand everything in you post...Did you message him and then he blocked you? If you haven't messaged him then I'd say go for it. Why not try contacting him. True . I keep reminding myself that I was a young teenager that didn't know anything about anything. But still though, it's hard not to wonder "Ahhh, what could have been..." Plus, it feels better to think back on an ex who was good for me and good to me (as much as he could have been at the time) instead of my recent ex. To remember that I did at one point in time mean everything to someone, instead of nothing to another person. Shift of focus really does help! Gives me more hope for the future too. And I sent him a "happy birthday!" message yeah, but he didn't block me. I was afraid he would, which made me anxious to send it..but he didn't And plus, I know that if I did contact him, it'd be extremely awkward. He tried messaging me a few times in the past couple of years and it was always "Why did we lose contact? How ya been? Ok..that's great...yea...bye" But the last time that happened was like 3 years ago. Maybe in the future, I could get the courage to message him. Maybe..
collegeguy_24 Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I'm still not over my first love, even though she was the one who sent me here because of how she dumped me. I would give and sacrifice anything to have her back, but the reality is, she isn't coming back, and my world feels darker because of it.
Felixtheecat Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Lilmisus, what you have described so far doesn't sound like a bad guy. I can't claim to know why you broke up nor am I trying to drag that info out of you, but I don't really feel like i've seen any posts on this website about people reconciling with their exs. I'm not sure if I haven't looked hard enough or if a forum like this just draws a certain type of person. Perhaps this is just wishful thinking on my behalf, but I feel like sometimes we meet amazing people at the wrong times in our life and as long as there's room for forgiveness or understanding their could always be a 2nd chance. I've seen it with a few people in my personal life. I know what i'm saying isn't necessarily in context to the title in the room, but perhaps you're both mature enough, or emotionally well adjusted to be everything you hoped you could be before with your 1st. As far as getting over a first love or anyone of that emotional magnitude, I think it would depend on how a person is raised and how they perceive the world. I don't think my frame of reference is great since the only woman I dated or had a relationship with that really moved me on several levels is the most recent one and the wounds from the break are still fresh. I do talk to a 60 year man from time to time though that still longs for a woman that he thought was the woman from his relationship with her in his early 20's. He has a wife and a family that he appears to be happy with, but everyone now and then he brings up "the one".
Someguy1978 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I'm pretty sure I'm not over my first love entirely. I would never get back with her, but there will always be a place in my heart that yearns for her. I thought she was the one at the time, I have since realised that there isn't '1' for anyone, but she was certainly a '1' who I could have been happy for the rest of my life with. We split up 13 years ago.
love is dangerous Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 let me tell you this ,my friends mum left her and her dad who she was married to when she was 3 for her first love. she wanted to start over with her first love and has never seen her mum since. sad story i no
alphamale Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I'm just wondering, do you ever really get over your first "love" even if it wasn't true love? Is how I've been normal? actually, given time, you get over all your past loves
love is dangerous Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 i think it doesnt have to be first love could just be one particular girl/ or guy that has a hold on you
dreamingoftigers Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I actually walked back through where my first love shamelessly dumped me the other day. He was my first bf in High School. It was 13, almost 14 years ago. "meh, nothing." I think he turned into a real bore and I saw him awhile back not long after I was engaged to my ex. He was in his early 20s and had already started a very prominent receding hairline.
hellon Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Lilmisus, your first "love" should have a special place in your heart. But when you're that young, you still have a lot of living and learning about yourself and growing as a person to do. My first boyfriend and I were pretty attached to each other through high school and college, and breaking that attachment (halfway through college) was really hard. After a couple of years of some distance, we became really close friends again, and still are, but I definitely couldn't imagine dating him again. As some of the other posters have said, as adults we weren't really compatible on a relationship level. If you're really curious, send him a message from time to time. But be open to other guys, there are so many out there, and give it some time. You'll get over it.
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