getsback Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My ex left me in March. She has refused to see me ever since. In that time, I have done all the wrong things. Begged, pleaded....you name it, iv done it. A couple of weeks ago, she started to have second thoughts about the break up and considered meeting me to talk, but it never happened. It ended with her saying she could never imagine seeing me again. I spoke to her via text this week and realised she is indifferent to me now. All her feeling are gone and I don't mean anything to her anymore. So its time for me to accept defeat. This last couple of months have taken me to rock bottom and I am finally at the stage where I don't want to be in love with her anymore. I just want to get over her and have my life back. So today I begin my 60 days of no contact. In this time I hope to heel and get over her. Obviously I hope that after 60 days I won't ever feel the need to contact her again. But I have to be realistic and set myself goals as I go along. Up until now the longest I have ever gone without talking to her is 12 days. So this is going to be hard and its going to take its toll. But I hope to get the support from people on this board as I fight to get my life back.
betterdeal Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 *fistbump* We're here for you, brother. What's your plan of attack? How much physical exercise do you normally do? Thought about gym / yoga / pilates / sport? Healthy body = health mind.
Author getsback Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Thanks for the support bro! Well I run a soccer team, but our season has just finished. So I was thinking about starting jogging and maybe some weight lifting. Its gonna be a long road but I'm ready for it!
betterdeal Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Good stuff on the weights and jogging. Give it a go - what have you got to lose?! You'll feel much better in no time, if you want to. Since you're at the bottom, you'll notice the down times more just now, but think of it as a chart of your overall happiness. It may be a wobbly line, but as long as it's heading upwards overall, you'll be fine. What's your diet like? Fancy a decent steak, fresh salad, peas, mashed potatoes this evening?
nana841121 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Reading many other people's love stories in this heart-to-heart forum will definitely help you heal more quickly. we have all been there. you are not alone. Don't push yourself too hard.
cali.man Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Yup it sure is hard! My ex/fiance of about 4 years broke up with me called off the wedding ( was for this year sept.) about two months ago out of the blue... Since than ive trying to go to the gym daily, hang out with my friends and do stuff i would not regularly do when i was with her. Read go out keep your mind busy that will help!
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 My ex left me in March. She has refused to see me ever since. In that time, I have done all the wrong things. Begged, pleaded....you name it, iv done it. A couple of weeks ago, she started to have second thoughts about the break up and considered meeting me to talk, but it never happened. It ended with her saying she could never imagine seeing me again. I spoke to her via text this week and realised she is indifferent to me now. All her feeling are gone and I don't mean anything to her anymore. So its time for me to accept defeat. This last couple of months have taken me to rock bottom and I am finally at the stage where I don't want to be in love with her anymore. I just want to get over her and have my life back. So today I begin my 60 days of no contact. In this time I hope to heel and get over her. Obviously I hope that after 60 days I won't ever feel the need to contact her again. But I have to be realistic and set myself goals as I go along. Up until now the longest I have ever gone without talking to her is 12 days. So this is going to be hard and its going to take its toll. But I hope to get the support from people on this board as I fight to get my life back. I did the begging and pleading too I think that pushes them further away and you know what I may regret that now but maybe soon I won't regret it because that's what made him finally get away from me...and that's obviously what needed to happen. 12 days is good. I went 10 days NC and he needed his mail so he wrote a note on my door. I think the more we realize that they can tell us things like "I don't feel enough for you " or "I'm not IN love with you anymore" we just need to listen. It takes a certain kind of person to say those things to someone. That person is someone who seriously feels smothered and wants to get away. They say those things cause they mean them AND because we don't listen. They have to be as clear as possible. So now we need to just accept the way they feel (or don't feel) and we do need to move on. I know everyone keeps saying time time it takes time...but its much more than just time. Because if you expect something after a while a month two months or think this person is coming back to you...all you're oding is pressing hold on your life rather than play. So besides time...to lessen the activation of our feelings...we also need to move on and fill our lives with other things. I'm at the point where I dont even want to. I know I should but I dont want to. but then again I know that if I dont I will just suffer. I think that after a while I wont even count every NC day anymore...I'll just be like oh wow it must be like...um I guess 2 months or something. I cant wait to be normal again
Author getsback Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 I did the begging and pleading too I think that pushes them further away and you know what I may regret that now but maybe soon I won't regret it because that's what made him finally get away from me...and that's obviously what needed to happen. 12 days is good. I went 10 days NC and he needed his mail so he wrote a note on my door. I think the more we realize that they can tell us things like "I don't feel enough for you " or "I'm not IN love with you anymore" we just need to listen. It takes a certain kind of person to say those things to someone. That person is someone who seriously feels smothered and wants to get away. They say those things cause they mean them AND because we don't listen. They have to be as clear as possible. So now we need to just accept the way they feel (or don't feel) and we do need to move on. I know everyone keeps saying time time it takes time...but its much more than just time. Because if you expect something after a while a month two months or think this person is coming back to you...all you're oding is pressing hold on your life rather than play. So besides time...to lessen the activation of our feelings...we also need to move on and fill our lives with other things. I'm at the point where I dont even want to. I know I should but I dont want to. but then again I know that if I dont I will just suffer. I think that after a while I wont even count every NC day anymore...I'll just be like oh wow it must be like...um I guess 2 months or something. I cant wait to be normal again I really feel for you as I feel like we are in the same situation. I can't wait to feel normal again either, its what I want more then anything. I agree with you, I think when they tell us bluntly they don't want us anymore, its because we have pushed them to it. What I hate the most is that her opinion of me as a person has changed. I hate that. I hate the fact that two months ago she adored me and now she thinks nothing of me. But its something I'm just going to have to live with and I'm ready to move on now. Because I know there is no other option.
Sassygirl2 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 getsback, I agree with you. I think that accepting that their opinion of us has changed is very hard to deal with. How can someone who loved us so deeply(?) now feel indifference or annoyed with us? That's what I don't get. The day my ex broke up with me he looked at me different. Like he hated me or something. I knew he was angry but he had never looked at me like that. That is what hurts the most.
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