Hot_fuego Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Put yourself in my position, you have the sweetest gf by your side, almost everything about her makes you happy, you had plans on staying with her, but you find out that she has cheated on you earlier on while she was still going out with you, She regrets what she has done,she is really sorry, she begs for you to stay with her, She said she will never cheat on you again, but there hasnt been a day since she told you that you havent thought about what she has done. What would you do?
Rinnix Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Id leave. She kept it hidden all that time. You can forgive, but the thoughts never go away. If It were me id move on. If you feel that you can forgive her and work on your relationship, then by all means do so. It takes effort on both sides along with complete honesty. It takes a long time to rebuild the trust that was lost, but it is possible. Wish you the best.
Flgirl44 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 It's easier said than done when you still love the person but sometimes you have to leave for your own piece of mind. It helps to put distance between yourself and event so you can feel there's things in your life that separate you. Even if you wanted to be in a functioning relationship with her I think taking some time to yourself would be the best bet. Being together only keeps the wound open. You express some of the same emotions I faced, and I still think about it a year later because I didn't go full NC for a long enough period of time. Looking back I wished I had just disappeared until I had gotten over it.
Memphis Raines Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Put yourself in my position, you have the sweetest gf by your side, almost everything about her makes you happy, you had plans on staying with her, but you find out that she has cheated on you earlier on while she was still going out with you, She regrets what she has done,she is really sorry, she begs for you to stay with her, She said she will never cheat on you again, but there hasnt been a day since she told you that you havent thought about what she has done. What would you do? I'd put her on the street.
PegNosePete Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Well how long ago was it, and how far into the relationship was it? If your relationship was serious at the point of cheating then she'd be out on her ear. But if you were still casual then I might be tempted to work on it... subject to the usual rules, of course.
Author Hot_fuego Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 She did that 5months into our relationship and it was about 2 months ago that she told me and like 6 months since the month she did that. and yeah i tried to keep it going but the thought of it will always bug me so i guess it just be best to terminate the relationship
John Michael Kane Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 She did that 5months into our relationship and it was about 2 months ago that she told me and like 6 months since the month she did that. and yeah i tried to keep it going but the thought of it will always bug me so i guess it just be best to terminate the relationship Doesn't matter when she cheated. If you guys were exclusive that's all that matters (along with her telling you this). With this information, your best move is to dump her.
D4ly1341 Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 PS: Dumping her is the safest move, maybe not the best. I agree. Honestly, it really all depends on knowing who you are as a person, and knowing what you are capable of and willing to do for the ones you love. I've dealt with many situations where people I love do horrible things that they regret over and over and over again. But sometimes it's not as simple as "being a bad person" or "being stupid." For that reason, It took me so long to realize I had to give up on some of those people, otherwise I'll lose myself. What some people need is forgiveness, and to feel free from judgement and hatred, and the world has forgotten how much can come from saying "I forgive you." I will tell you that now she has cheated once, she will be tempted to do it again, or she will do it again. It will be a hard fight. And she may not be worth it. That's for no one else to decide but you.
samspade Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 Dump. You love the person you THOUGHT you were with. You wouldn't have entered into a relationship with a cheater if you knew up front. Always better to save your self-respect and move on to other prospects. That may sound like throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but you will have much more success forging new relationships than you will fixing this one. Again - preserve your self respect and dump her.
TokyoG33kyGal Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 normally cheaters who come out clean after a long time (as they claim) since they did it aren't telling their partners the whole story. there's something else going on, hence the guilt. i have this principle: what you don't know won't hurt. basically, you cannot really stop your partner to cheat, it is their own doing. why would i suffer the consequences upon knowing they have cheated? the cheater only transfers the burden to us to decide if we will continue or not. a real cheater will do this to test how far he/she can go with cheating. i told my partner if he does cheat on me and he thinks he will not do it anymore, then i prefer him to suffer on his own guilt by not telling me and make up for it. but that does not mean i would be blind if i see clues that he might be doing something behind my back, and it sure does not mean i am giving him consent to cheat.
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