jnj express Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Hey DSD---#1---cheated on you, and you are still with him---WHY????? Why would you be so locked onto a guy who disrespects you????? #2---If he is the right guy---then just tell him Tell him, you were already in a relationship, and you are working your way out of that relationship If #2, really wants you---he will not let your life prior to his coming into your life---affect the future of the 2 of you
Author dsd85 Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 thank you for your replies. it is true, our relationship is not healthy. but sometimes...a lot of the time, i just think that i owe it to him and to me to continue with what we are doing. my mind is so full of guilt. i can't believe i'm doing this to him. even if he has cheated on me, and sometimes he is disrespectful, but i can't deny that he loves me, maybe not in the right way all the time, but he does love me. today i almost broke up with him, because i really don't know how long i can keep this up. i started crying, i said that maybe our relationship would not work because we have already been together 6 yrs and we have not made a healthy progress...i brought up his career situation, his money situation, and as well as my own, and i said how will we ever build a family, he's almost 30.... but everyone knows, if you really want to be with someone you can make it work. i just feel so bad because i had many chances to leave before, when HE cheated, and HE did wrong to me, but now that he is good, I'm the one throwing away what we have/had... why does this have to be so complicating... well i didn't end up breaking up with him, as soon as i started crying i couldn't go through with it. i saw him starting to tear up to, but i know he didn't really believe i would do it.
RRM Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 thank you for your replies. it is true, our relationship is not healthy. but sometimes...a lot of the time, i just think that i owe it to him and to me to continue with what we are doing. my mind is so full of guilt. i can't believe i'm doing this to him. even if he has cheated on me, and sometimes he is disrespectful, but i can't deny that he loves me, maybe not in the right way all the time, but he does love me. today i almost broke up with him, because i really don't know how long i can keep this up. i started crying, i said that maybe our relationship would not work because we have already been together 6 yrs and we have not made a healthy progress...i brought up his career situation, his money situation, and as well as my own, and i said how will we ever build a family, he's almost 30.... but everyone knows, if you really want to be with someone you can make it work. i just feel so bad because i had many chances to leave before, when HE cheated, and HE did wrong to me, but now that he is good, I'm the one throwing away what we have/had... why does this have to be so complicating... well i didn't end up breaking up with him, as soon as i started crying i couldn't go through with it. i saw him starting to tear up to, but i know he didn't really believe i would do it. You have some real concerns. While it's great that guy #1 is nicer now, it sounds like you are just staying with him out of guilt and fear, which really aren't the best reasons to be with someone. I hope you feel better.
Memphis Raines Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 and it's true when they say you never know until you're in that situation. people shouldn't judge others until they've been in the same shoes. it is possible to love two people. of course, you are looking at it from a cheater's perspective. lots of cheaters also think there isn't anything wrong and cheating shouldn't be an issue because there are other issues that would rate worse than cheating. its all about justification. but if you think you can love two people, ask the two you are playing for fools what they think.
Garrgoil Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 OP: The Book of Solomon says they should cut you in half, then they can share you equally. Why not suggest that to them?
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