Waitress Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 (edited) Serious answers please: A guy I've been friends with for a while has started hiding his wedding ring when we talk. Or at least it seems that way. He kinda looks at his left hand/ring self-consciously and puts it in his pocket or out of sight. I never noticed him doing this before. And it doesn't make much sense since I obviously know he's married. I don't think he's at all the type for an affair so I find it hard to believe he would be leaning that way. So, I am confused as to why he would be doing this now. We get along great, are always happy to see each other and talk and I would hate for things to get messed up. Should I talk to him about this or say anything? Not that I'd know what to say. Any thoughts? Thanks. Edited May 5, 2011 by Waitress
OldOnTheInside Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 (edited) He only hides/takes the wedding off when he is talking to you? If so, it is likely that he is looking for something from you. How you should react to this is up to you really. If you say nothing, then this issue is unlikely to get resolved. In fact, it may end up escalating into something more serious. If you do talk to him about it, there is a possibility that he will lie through his teeth or throw excuses your way. But if he does say "I am unhappy with my marriage", then what? Will you tell him to go see a marriage counsellor or talk to his wife about this? What can you do really? I don't know Waitress, this guy is putting you in a uncomfortable position. Odds are, "things will get messed up" whether you want them to or not. Edited May 5, 2011 by OldOnTheInside
sunshinegirl Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I wouldn't say anything unless/until there's a more explicit and unambiguous signal that he has inappropriate intentions toward you. It's not like this guy can take it anywhere without the OP's cooperation with his behavior, so as long as OP keeps everything on the up-and-up, I don't see ring fiddling to be much of an issue. Who knows, maybe he does it with everyone / does it when he's nervous / does it because the metal irritates his skin / etc.
Author Waitress Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Thanks for the replies guys. It is true that nothing can happen without my consent. But a reason I'm so confused is it seems so odd to me that he could be contemplating anything extra-marital. I know they've had some problems but we don't really talk about it so I don't know the extent. But I do know that he is a good guy.
Wehtiko Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 You might be reading too much into it. I have a crappy marriage and I haven't worn my wedding ring in 15 years (in fact, I threw it away) but I'm NOT looking for an affair. Perhaps your friend wants to talk and is giving you an opening to broach the subject. If you feel comfortable talking to him about it... take the bait. But be sure he understands that you DO NOT want an affair with anyone, and talk to him. Don't take any bait to have a sexual relationship on any level, nothing will ruin a friendship faster than that; I lost an extremely good friend that way. Maintain that sexual distance.
Author Waitress Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Thanks for the reply Wehtiko. I'm sorry to hear you haven't been happy in your marriage. It is very sad. I will see how things go with the friend. Sometimes things just strike you as odd and make you wonder. But then sometimes things just get misinterpreted.
Author Waitress Posted May 18, 2011 Author Posted May 18, 2011 Maintain the sexual tension for maximum benefit. You mean keep sexual tension and keep it unconsummated?
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