Jon10 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Hi, Next week my ex-girlfriend will be coming to visit my home town for four days and will be staying with her cousin. She was due to come and spend the weekend with me but unfortunately broke up with me via phone call about 2 weeks ago. What is hard to take is that she will still be making the trip, but instead of spending the time with me it will be spent with her cousin. We both live in the UK and had been seeing each other since December of 2010 and enjoyed every second when we could see each other. She had spoke about being together for the future and plans even at this early stage. I had felt the same. During the breakup call she mentioned about the reasons about the distance being too much to take and how it was having negative effects on her feelings for me. Also she mentioned if she did spend the weekend with me that she would probably just end up being horrible towards me the whole time.....not sure what she means by that. Any weekends we spent together were fantastic. I went 'no contact' the second we got off the phone and its been like that for two weeks. She sent me a text a week ago hoping i was ok and having a lovely weekend...i just replied some hours later with a similar text and that was that. Anyway any advice on how I should approach next week would be very welcome! I would really like to work things out with her - her cousin is also trying to plan something to get us to meet up together etc. In these two weeks I have been getting on with life and was actually offered a position in work through networking that I could be based anywhere in the UK and a lot closer to her. I don't know if this will make any difference by telling her these changes now....part of me feels angry that she would do this to me (telling me on the phone as little as two weeks ago that she misses me and thinking about me)and another part of me completely understands why she is fed-up with the distance element of the relationship. I guess I'm just confused wondering how she will feel once she is back in the same town as me knowing that i'm also there. Thankyou.
Pianiste Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 So her cousin is planning to get you two to meet? I don't think I would find it a pleasant surprise if I thought I was going to do something with my cousin and all of a sudden I'm there with my ex-boyfriend... totally unprepared and caught off-guard. She did send you a text message asking how you were so it's probably best to just ask her directly if she has some time to meet you during her weekend there. Explain to her that you are still confused and hope she'll be prepared to sit down with you for a little bit.
Author Jon10 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Her cousin asked me in for coffee last week since we've known each other for years and wondered if I was looking forward to seeing my girlfriend again...thats when I told her what had happened and she couldn't understand. She said she knows my ex better than anyone in the world and that by the time her visit rolls around she will most probably be missing me quite a lot and wouldn't expect her to sit in the house all weekend without wanting to see me. She also mentioned that my ex can be very hard work emotionally and has a tendency to hurt peoples feelings without actually meaning to do it - it was her idea to get everyone together for a night out and see if the spark is still there between us, but I don't think its as easy as that. She also told me not to let my ex walk all over me if I feel she might be doing so and to 'set her straight' if possible. My ex did say on her last phone call that we could meet up during her visit so I don't think there is resistance there from her part - I just feel she might be 'having her cake and eating it'.
betterdeal Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Any chance you can go and do something more interesting instead? Maybe somewhere else.
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