chelle21689 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I've been seeing this guy for almost 3 months now =). We talk almost every night over an hour and see each other once or twice a week. We haven't even kissed yet but I mean we're doing really well...just going very slow. At the end of May I'll be going to Asia for a month. How often should I keep in touch with him?
2sure Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Shoot him an email once a week, always on the same day - regardless of how many times he responds to you. If he does not respond , send only the first one. Any more and you are being too needy any less and you are being too distant. Its an opportunity for him to miss you, for the heart to grow fonder. Also, have a great month in Asia dont spend your time concerned about his interest!
Pfiend101 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 After three months I think you should make out with him before you leave. Thats an awful long time IMO To not have at least kissed.
2sure Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 [QUOTE=Pfiend101;3380908]After three months I think you should make out with him before you leave. Thats an awful long time IMO To not have at least kissed. Yep. Create a memory for him.
Author chelle21689 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Haha...I know...that's my goal before I leave . We're both shy but I kissed my ex first date cuz he was forward. Well, I was thinking once a week isn't enough. Maybe once every 2 days or so through SKype or something. We live in Ohio so it'll be night time when it's day time over there. Like 10am in Thailand it'll be 10pm in Ohio... He keeps saying things like "Wow that's a long time..." or "Aw I won't get to talk to you..." like he'll miss me without saying "I'll miss you!"
ASG Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 After three months I think you should make out with him before you leave. Thats an awful long time IMO To not have at least kissed. Yeap. It is a long time even if you had been actually DATING for 3 months. You need to contact him more than just one email a week. Cause distance does not make the heart grow fonder of there is nothing there. The other side of the coin is out of sight out of mind, which is what happens when there's not a lot to begin with. My ex and I had been dating for 3,5 months before I went away for work and in about 2 months we only saw each other a couple of times. That made all our issues become much bigger and he basically wanted to break up. We didn't and talked and tried to resolve our issues, but ultimately couldn't and broke up a few months later. So yeah, 1 month, this early on, might be dangerous, so keep in touch!
Author chelle21689 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Haha, now you're making me worried! Luckily he has skype on his phone so I can get a hold of him any time really. Also, I was in a long distance relationship with my ex the last 2 years of our relationship and distance made it grow fonder although it was hard to maintain. I just hope that being gone for a month doesn't lose his interest. He seems to really be into me...but anything can happen =( Since I was in a LDR I figured maybe try to incorporate some of that experience with him like playing video games, web cam, talking, etc. Aw, I'll miss him but I'm sure I'll have fun too.
Els Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Shoot him an email once a week, always on the same day - regardless of how many times he responds to you. If he does not respond , send only the first one. Any more and you are being too needy any less and you are being too distant. Its an opportunity for him to miss you, for the heart to grow fonder. Also, have a great month in Asia dont spend your time concerned about his interest! I completely disagree with this, when they're talking every night for an hour now. What is so important about appearing aloof? How is communication more than once a WEEK too needy?! Definitely keep in touch, I think a 50/50 initiation of emails/phone calls would be good. ie take the pace from him and go from there. Within reason, of course, you shouldn't be spending 3 hrs a day talking to him if you're traveling. When I went traveling for a month the bf and I did a 5-10 min phonecall every 1-2 days, although admittedly we were about 3 years in at that point.
Chops Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 2 suggestions from me.. First, I reckon you should talk to him and agree on something in terms of communication/contact. Preferred method, frequency, etc. Some guys like a little bit of space when they're partner is away as the time can pass easier. Second, I thought it was interesting that you have not been intimate yet. Do you refer to each as boyfriend/girlfriend? Do you hold hands? Are you affectionate more than 2 friends would be?? I think something needs to happen here before you leave..
fgc123 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 How to keep his interest? SCREW HIM. This poor man has talked to you for months without even kissing you? What a loser. Assuming he wants sex.
molimo140 Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Three months and you haven't even kissed yet? That's beyond shy! At the very least kiss him before you leave, and I'm not talking just a little peck..
Author chelle21689 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Yeah, we hold hands when we're out in public, we cuddle when watching a movie, he slept over a couple times when I was at my friend's, he's kissed me (just not on the lips), touched me in areas like my inner thigh and butt haha. I knowwwwwww....it's embarassing to admit that we haven't kissed.
Els Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 It may seem slow to others enmeshed in today's 'instant gratification' culture, but if going slow works for you and him, I don't think you should go all out and screw him just because people on an online forum think so.
Author chelle21689 Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 lol thanks. I haven't gone this slow with a guy and I know he hasn't gone this slow with a girl. It's just how things work out sometimes..
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