CFM Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 (edited) Third post on here, long story with the same girl - she's 22 I'm 25. Basically we "ended" our 4.5 year relationship about 5 months ago in December. I moved out and away from her due to military transition and rough living environment with her/her family, etc. Needed a break from the relationship to find my footing. Went to TX, she's in NJ. Talked semi-regularly, she was crushed for 2 months or so, but we kept talking on the phone. Around March, went to visit her for spring break and things were like we never broke up.. sex, etc.. physically and mentally like we were still together. I left that on a kind of bad note, didn't talk for about a week.. she did a 180 degree turn with "us". I decided I wanted a chance back up there, would like to be with her again etc and moved up to NJ a week ago and got an apartment. So anyway, I out of nowhere drive back to NJ, get an apartment and start school/job hunting. Before I came up she made it clear she doesn't want a boyfriend right now, enjoys the single life, doesn't want the headache etc. I know she hangs out with some guys and flirts and ****, but there is no sex or commitment to anyone. She's in nursing school and working two part time jobs and literally has one or two nights a week to actually do anything with anyone anyways. When I got up here we saw each other and it was kind of awkward.. she thinks I'm going to go stalker status and be up her ass while she does her thing. I'm not really that kind of guy, even though I'd really like to try dating again while not living together and kind of have a clean slate. She just wants to be friends and doesn't want to have to tell me who she's talking to and doesn't want to have sex or anything like that anymore. I accept that and have done my best to stay cool and give her her space and try to not fall back into that boyfriend role. What's been happening for the past week is kind of awkward though and I don't really know how to behave. Part of me though I'd just win her back when she saw me in person and she'd want to be with me again. That didn't really work out, so like I said I've kind of chilled out with the love stuff and tried to just be a friend. It's been difficult as I'm still extremely attracted to her and for so long we've grown extremely comfortable together through the years. So, this last week we've spent more time than I expected together. First she wanted me to stay at her house while I found an apartment. I was going to sleep on the couch but she ended up wanting me to sleep in bed with her. She cuddled up with me like usual but avoids all sexual contact or being naked or anything like that around me. I moved into my apartment and got settled and the first night here she decided to come over. I made us dinner and she wanted to sleep over. I tried to make a move on her, but she pushed me away again saying she doesn't think I can handle a sexual relationship with her right now and doesn't want it. Then, she gets ready for bed.. wears a little nighty with no underwear and sleeps next to me. I can't help but get aroused by this, but my advances again are denied. The night after.. she invites me to come over to her house to sleep over, again, no sex just cuddling up to me and sleeping. So I'm confused as to what I really am with this girl at this point. She seems adamant to say that we're just friends - nothing more. She said I'm the most important guy in her life, but she doesn't want to date me right now. She teases me regularly, but won't do anything sexual with me, won't even kiss me. She wants to hang out and sleep together all of the time, but will text other guys right in front of me and get pissed if I ask who it is or what they want. I'm so confused. So, what am I to this girl? Is this a phase leading to being together again, or is she just using me right now and going to push further away slowly? How should I react? Should I stop sleeping with her completely? The frustration makes me want to just tell her no and not bother, but part of me just hopes one night she'll snap back into relationship mode and want me sexually again. Thanks. Edited May 4, 2011 by CFM
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