dragonfly22 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 So my ex-fiance told me this morning he wants to get back together. He came clean about having dated someone else and realized there's just no one like me. He says he wants to make it work, and I need to trust him. We broke up almost 3 weeks ago. He says he told the other girl he still loves me and she took it bad and went on vacation until next week (they are co-workers). I thought I would be so happy if this happened. But I'm not. I'm so hurt and I don't think I can trust him, especially not when he will still work with her and see her everyday while I'm 3 hours away. I just don't see how we can save an LDR when we only see each other on weekends but he sees this girl EVERY DAY. He is asking me to please trust him, to believe he loves me and wants no one but me. I don't know what to do. I love him still but this just doesn't feel right.
jstobo Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Your guarded Dragonfly. Totally normal and understandable. Stay guarded. make him prove it. Meanwhile, keep doing things for yourself. My W did the same thing to me last week. We went on a date and things don't feel right. I don't trust her intentions. She's going to have keep coming after me if she wants me. If she doesn't have the strength, than she isn't worth chasing either. Just keep living your life and see how much he proves he wants to be with you. But do not give in so easily. Just so you know, I am giving advice I am trying really hard to follow, which others have given me. It's NOT EASY!!!!!
Irishlove Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 How do you know that she didn't get tired of him and she is just on vacation. Nahhhh unless he moved near me I'd set him free. There would be no in betweens with me. If it's not her it'll be some other girl. You are right to be gaurded, somethings not right.
Author dragonfly22 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks for your feedback. I told him we can try to make it work if he moves back here. He makes very good money where he is but I told him if he is serious about this, then he will find a job here and come back to make it work. We were going to get MARRIED when he left, so I'm not settling for less than his best effort to get me back. If he decides to stay over there then I have my answer.
JasonRules Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 So your ex left you for another woman, cancelled the engagement, and now the other woman dumped his azz and he's coming back crying to you. And you will take him back after all the hell he put you through? Let me give you some advice honey. The glass is broken. Even if you do take him back you a day will come where you will resent him for what he did to you. I suggest you find someone else and start fresh.
Author dragonfly22 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Jason that's exactly what I fear. Deep inside this isn't something I can forget easily. I used to trust him completely, now I'll always be thinking what if he gets tired of this again and decides to leave? I guess I wish things would just go back to the way they were but so much has happened in the last weeks.
geegirl Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I'd worry about how much of telling this other girl he still loves you and dumping her is true. I can see him playing both sides. It's easy. She's around him most of the time and you are 3 hours away. A guy would love to have his cake and eat it too. I'd let him go and start fresh. Because there will always be that doubt lingering in your head 24-7. Who wants to live that way.
PinkChic Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 dragonfly, WOW. I JUST got done having a similiar conversation with my ex. It was mostly "how do I EVER trust you again?"... "How do I have a relationship with you and not walk on eggshells wondering if your going to pick up and leave at any given second?"... I'm not sure I (or you) will ever get over that feeling of being hurt by the ONE person we trusted most in this world. I have never given my trust very easily to anyone (with the exception of him)... and he broke that. You seem very intelligent and I think you did the right thing by giving him an ultimatum to move back home. I think I would have done the same thing. That way HIS ACTIONS will speak louder than his words. Keep us posted!
Recommended Posts