DreamTheater Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Hi, Could you use some advice on a recent break I had (feb). I knew this girl 6 years ago. We got attracted and became an item. But it all happened quite fast. I later realized that she and I couldn't really get along. I explain things to her and we walked seperate ways. less then 2 months she initiated a call and we got back together. Again only to loose each other. This happened a couple of times. Where, she would call me and we get back together or myself would initiate things and we get back together. back and forth it was happening. Both of us had issues and didnt deal with it well enough. I started resisting alot more this time round knowing it will end up bad. She persisted. But didnt give in. I was in a tough situation myself. without a job and debts. I was focusing on getting a job and stabilizing myself. She was employed and was stable. We carried on seperate lives for abit and i started missing her. The love and care she gave throughout the years. That's when i told myself, if i want her, it doesn't matter whether im jobless or not. I picked up the phone and tried to re-connect back with her. But this time she said she was seeing someone else. I crumbled was basically crushed. But wasnt suprised cause our history is like that. When im ready shes not and when shes ready im not. Despite that, we couldnt keep away from each other no matter what. its not a dependency on my part. i really missed her love and i was... finally... falling in love with her. I told her that and we hooked back again. This time, it was so different. We both were ready to share a life together. We went for trips, did things she always wanted to do with me etc etc. We spoke of marriage, house, kids and a dog. I changed my thoughts and took a positive outlook in life. Took actions to change things. But on personal level, my situation didnt change. I was in and out of jobs and experienced many work related problems. The timing wasnt good at all. I found myself being caught there again. There was more negativity, i lost confidence in myself and i was getting really concern how am i gonna take of her, be her husband, support the kids ...all that we had planned for. Sure it needed time, but i wasnt close to her as i was before. she sensed it, she supported me still and was with me, i got more and more consumed as months went by without a job. I felt it was unfair for her. i care about her a great deal and tht she deserves a whole lot better (noble). I told her about it, talked with her. She got concern as well. Perhaps we arent really meant to be with each other. In Jan this year, i got a job, i was soo thrilled. We had a mini celebration. She started wanting to have more time spent together. Going for trips again etc. But i wasnt there yet. I was focused on my new job and wanted to make sure it worked. She felt neglected. she wanted to talk about it. I told her, now isnt the time to talk about this. Told her i know im being distant, but Im not gone. So lets not talk about it. She insisted. I got furious. (my bad). Said things i shouldnt have said and I said I had enough (out of anger). We broke off again. She said, this is the last time she's ever gonna give me a chance. I said fine. We hung up. 2 weeks later, i started to rethink and realize my mistake for loosing temper. My job situation was getting better. I felt some security in me. Though I had wanted to call her, but i remembered what she said. So i left it. I was missing her more...but i was silent about it. 2 months passed, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to call her....i had to speak to her... i had to be with her and work it out again. We texted each other, suprisingly felt like it was normal. She said she wanted to meet up as she needs to speak with me. (didnt feel good). We met and she told she is seeing someone. She said its different. They connected in a "spiritual" level. All these happened 2 weeks after we broke up (alittle too fast i found) she also went on to speak about him, how the new guy is etc etc. she added tht the new guy controls her and she doesnt like it. I didnt have anything more to say. Asked her if she was happy, she said she is. She wants me to move on with life. She said she still loves me but cant do anything about it. (does she mean it?) I left it as that. She wants to be friends but told her I can't. Perhaps someday but not now. I miss her dearly, I love her alot ... cant help but to think if we can be together again. We're not in contact. I let her be and let her do her stuff. I dont believe one can throw away 6 years of friendship/closeness/love that easily or that soon. I'd like to work on getting her back. What we had was love, not anything else. Some advice would be good... tks for taking the time to read.
Recommended Posts