knathema Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 She ended things with me, and she is seeing somebody else right now. But this is what she said to me. _____________________________________________________________ So i was going to send you a massege on facebook, i couldnt find you? I hope you are doing well, and school isnt stressing you out too much. I watched this video and i thought this what happened to us. If you have time watch this, and try to understand me. dont ever hesitate to talk to me when you need a friend, because after 3 years of being together ive grown a lot of care for you as a human being not just a boyfriend. so i hope at some point we can be friends and talk to each other like normal. I thought about you the other day. _____________________________________________________________ The video was so sad. About 2 minutes into the video, I shed tears. I am not sad anymore that she left me, i have came to realize that this is reality. I don't want her back because she is happy right now. Thats all i ever wanted, was for her to be happy. I don't even feel like **** right now, but why did i cry? I have no idea. Should i keep the NC up?
Kodo Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 She ended things with me, and she is seeing somebody else right now. But this is what she said to me. _____________________________________________________________ So i was going to send you a massege on facebook, i couldnt find you? I hope you are doing well, and school isnt stressing you out too much. I watched this video and i thought this what happened to us. If you have time watch this, and try to understand me. dont ever hesitate to talk to me when you need a friend, because after 3 years of being together ive grown a lot of care for you as a human being not just a boyfriend. so i hope at some point we can be friends and talk to each other like normal. I thought about you the other day. _____________________________________________________________ The video was so sad. About 2 minutes into the video, I shed tears. I am not sad anymore that she left me, i have came to realize that this is reality. I don't want her back because she is happy right now. Thats all i ever wanted, was for her to be happy. I don't even feel like **** right now, but why did i cry? I have no idea. Should i keep the NC up? Sounds like she's trying to be nice in the most terrible way possible. She is trying to tell you that you meant someting to her.. but no longer do? Like it wasn't obvious enough? Your friends can compliment you like that. THey've seen you for more than 3 years and more to come.
loverboy1984 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Someone here posted this last week. I even thought about sending it to my ex eventually after things normalized in the future. But I would take this message with a grain of salt. She left you for someone else. She got bored. This video is what happens in alot of relationships, not all. The bottom line is she got bored and wanted some excitement. Either way its a cop out. She didnt have a reason to give you and instead played to your emotions. Be a gentleman about it. Let her go. and yes do NC. after seeing this I wont be sending it to my ex. Its a cowardly thing to do. Everyone deserves an explanation and respect. This doesnt cut it. your not happy so dont pretend you are but try to aim towards it. If you shed a tear, which I did too when I first saw this, then you have emotions which you cant turn off like a switch. So let it heal. NC is the way to go. My break up was similar, and Ive been in NC for 7wks and doing better. dont inhibit your emotions but also dont let it inhibit you. Learn from this relationship, learn and admit your faults, be better and let that make you feel good. Not all relationships are like that video. Next time keep the excitement, the tension but without the drama. Be appreciative and dont take anyone for granted and dont be taken for granted. These are all lessons we learn. sometimes it comes at a cost, such as heartache. You will get through it. Good luck.
TragicAlliance Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Watched the link... Now I'm sitting here in a very weird state of mind. I, too, shed a few tears during this video. It was so familiar that it struck a nerve. Which is odd, considering I've not shed many tears for my loss lately. Ironically, I had told my ex tonight that, at one point in his life, I was just a stranger. And now, after seeing that... I realize that that's right where he and I fell. Strangers. And man, that's hard to accept.
nana841121 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Emotion is subtle and complicated. she is just being nice. You should stay NC, when you can behave like a normal friend to her, then contact her Do not trick yourself that she might still love you. Better prepared for the worst ----that she doesn't love you as a lover.
Author knathema Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Thanks for the feedback guys. It was a long story why we broke up, I posted it 2 weeks ago. The first week was tough but i am doing a lot better now. Keeping myself busy with school, gym, work and friends. I am not really angry that she left me for someone else because she deserves to be happy. The video was so sad... I can't explain why i shed tears. I learned so much.
written in the stars Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 The gym is key my friend. I was doing horribly until I started working out again. Once you see progress being made and your body starts to change it helps you to start loving yourself again instead of directing all your love towards another person. Once you start loving yourself again you will see your mood change for the better by leaps and bounds. NC all the way my friend, good luck!
JasonRules Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 The gym is key my friend. I was doing horribly until I started working out again. Once you see progress being made and your body starts to change it helps you to start loving yourself again instead of directing all your love towards another person. Once you start loving yourself again you will see your mood change for the better by leaps and bounds. NC all the way my friend, good luck! Ditto to that. I was a 187lbs skinny mess when we ended things 2 months ago, but after pounding the gym almost everyday I have turned into a 198lbs mass of ripped muscle. I watch what I eat and take care of myself both physically and mentally. Its a great stress and coping mechanism. Had I been sitting at home with nothing to do, I would have been depressed.
Chi townD Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 YES! Keep up NC! No text's, no Phone calls and no e-mails! Okay, so she sent you a video. Big deal. She took the time to find the video and send it to you to relieve her own guilt for dumping you for someone else. That video wasn't about the both of you. It was about her. Okay, so you just want her to be happy. That shows what kind of charactor you have and it's good. However, just that contact set you back...If it didn't you would have had no reason to post here. Now, you're thinking about her a lot, trying to make heads or tails about that e-mail. Back to square one. The point is, she wanted you out of her life so she could hook up with this OM. You give her EXACTLY what she wants. Stop worrying about her happiness and start thinking about your own.
Fufu Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 .............. I'm speechless by her action.. But anyway it's not important. Do keep up with your NC
Chi townD Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Wow, that e-mail set me off...... If she contacts you asking if you watched the video. I would respond: "Yeah, it taught me that we're strangers and I don't talk to strangers" Wow....that triggered me off....grrr......
allie_lgh Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I have come to realize that people are selfish by nature, and a breakup is no acception. They send out e-mails or texts or calls or videos like this to make them feel better. To make them feel ok about what they've done. To try and justify themselves. In reality, it's just about them-all over again. I understand that breakups don't erase the emotions two people may have for each other. But it does erase the permission to walk back in and attempt to touch those emotions again. That wasn't fair of her, stay with NC.
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I'm scared to watch the video can someone just tell me what it is.
Fufu Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 The video will not bite you. It shows the stages of a relationship. From the video, "Every relationship goes through stages. Where and how each stage develops is ultimately up to each person. While we always hope for the best, we often can't avoid the inevitable." Title, Strangers again.
geegirl Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 What was the purpose of sending that link to you? It infuriates me. The kind and empathetic thing to do would have been to leave you alone and let you heal instead of regurgitating what was and what is and feeling as if it would help you better understand the situation but more so to justify her decision and make her look like the good guy. All about her. Utterly selfish.
JasonRules Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 This is the reason I told my ex the last day I saw her "From now on we will not talk, email, text, or see each other at all. If you're ready and want to have a NORMAL relationship with me one day, then you'll know what to do" So basically don't contact me unless you want to be with me. That was 2 months ago...but we all know that there was/is another guy in the picture. Otherwise how does one person go from talking/seeing/contacting someone multiple times every single day to not having any desire to have them in their lives anymore. In any case, honeymoon stages don't last forever. I know she'll be back. They all come back running to me.
JasonRules Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 She ended things with me, and she is seeing somebody else right now. But this is what she said to me. _____________________________________________________________ So i was going to send you a massege on facebook, i couldnt find you? I hope you are doing well, and school isnt stressing you out too much. I watched this video and i thought this what happened to us. If you have time watch this, and try to understand me. dont ever hesitate to talk to me when you need a friend, because after 3 years of being together ive grown a lot of care for you as a human being not just a boyfriend. so i hope at some point we can be friends and talk to each other like normal. I thought about you the other day. _____________________________________________________________ The video was so sad. About 2 minutes into the video, I shed tears. I am not sad anymore that she left me, i have came to realize that this is reality. I don't want her back because she is happy right now. Thats all i ever wanted, was for her to be happy. I don't even feel like **** right now, but why did i cry? I have no idea. Should i keep the NC up? Personally I deplore this kind of patronizing behavior. I'd tell her to email her boyfriend instead and not me. Exes should realize that the moment they decided to end it, that we don't have to stick around and care to their need for a "friend" whilst you or someone else is hurting. This time you need to be very selfish and not accomodating.
Author knathema Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 how long have you been broken up? about close to 3 weeks now, but doing better, a lot better. Thank you all for your replies and I'll continue my NC. (:
Fufu Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 about close to 3 weeks now, but doing better, a lot better. Thank you all for your replies and I'll continue my NC. (: You are strong Keep it up
Author knathema Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 And now she texted me this morning saying that she emailed me the other day and asked me how i been doing and told me to have a good day at school. Seriously, wtf? She's already with someone else, what is it that she wants? I didn't reply and didn't even have the urge to reply back, I just kept doing what i was doing.
Fufu Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Good job for not replying. Seriously, I'm so glad you move on and away from her.
miss jennifer Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 omg.. i don't believe she sent you that.. how selfish of her. do NOT contact her.. full steam ahead, no contact!
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