dough777 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 This past semester I met this girl and we started to become friends and we talk to each other all the time at school and via text. I started to have feelings for this girl and I thought we had a good chance of starting a relationship. Then just recently she told me she now has a boyfriend. This made me a little upset but I know there was nothing I could do about it so I didn't make a big deal out of it. Now the semester is just about over and I hope that I can still be good friends with her even though I won't be seeing her every day at school. Although I do have feelings for her I do respect that she is in a relationship and I can deal with that. My question is do you think it would be okay if I still asked her to hangout? As I said, I can respect that she is in a relationship and I won't try and break it up, but I do enjoy being around her and I just want to hangout as friends. I assume that I might get different opinions on this topic but I am curious to get views of other people.
tyciol Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 The question I have is: okay for whom? People can have varying opinions about that. I personally don't see anything wrong with it. She might, as might her boyfriend, as might you personally or people in your social circle. It depends a lot on different social taboos and perceived intentions. If you really only want to pursue friendship and don't desire to break up their relationship then I don't think you should feel any guilt for pursuing a friendship, I think it would just be good to prepare yourself that people might see it otherwise and that they might leap to conclusions about your motivations. Unfortunately misunderstandings like this do happen.
thehead Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 Ask her to hang out. Plan on being the guy friend with a (not-so-secret) crush on her. She'll pick up on it but she can decide if a friendship is over the line.
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