Veng Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Hello guys! I am very confused at the moment. Became such a guru at the breaking up and coping issues, but it turned out I have no idea what to do with a reconcilation process... So I am the dumpee, happened 6 months ago, not really total NC for all this time, but quite a lot, especially for the last months. The thing is now we are talking again and he has changed a lot, said he was 80% convinced that he wanted me back, which is somehow a lot for him to say. But he is still quite confused, the other 20% are: how I can trust him again fully after all of this + how to be sure that it doesn't end again (which is more important). Almost all reasons for breaking up are solved, except for one: we are living in different countries and he still doesnt know how I can just come and find work there... I said we couldn't really plan everything, the main ingridient for success is to really WANT it. He agreed but still... Should i just wait and see till he gets "ripe"? I am trying to act quite cold with him still not to show him all my feelings. I just thought that NC again would look strange, as we are already at another stage somehow...
Fufu Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 how long do you want to wait? or do you know how long you can wait? if a man is still confused whether is it 20% 50% 80%, my suggestion is that you need to back off. Reason being, a 20% confused person is still a confused person. If NC is hard, try LC. But ultimately, I usually will prefer NC. To me, reconciliation needs 2 willing, serious and enthusiastic partners to work things out and grow the relationship.
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