ajf123 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I'd really like to get some opinions on this... I met a guy through online dating, we exchanged a few emails and after a couple of days he asked me out. We met for an afternoon drink, had a good couple of hours, the conversation flowed well even though we were both a little nervous. Towards the end of date he appeared nervous and awkward but in fairness I was too. That evening he asked me out again, but I couldn't make it. We kept in touch with texts during the week and I asked if he wanted to meet again this weekend, and we did. Again, we had a good afternoon. He cooked me lunch, the conversation seemed to flow and it seemed we both relaxed more. However, about an hour after we'd eaten he started looking a bit fidgety and awkward, so I asked if he had things to do, seeing it as my cue to leave. He said he did, then sat down and started another conversation! So that conversation came to a natural conclusion which ended up in a nice way, kind of just smiling at each other. He then looked really awkward at which point I found myself apologising for lingering and picking up my stuff and heading straight to the door! I thanked him for cooking and said how much I enjoyed it, to which the answer was "yeah, good. I'll be in touch some time". A quick peck on the cheek and I left very confused. I'd really appreciate an outside opinion on this. Other guys I've seen in the past have been quite expressive in both words and body language (and generally pretty outgoing) but I'm finding this really hard to read! Is it a lack of confidence, or lack of interest?! I'm more than happy to take things slowly, but I'd like to think that we can relax around each other if he is interested. I'd like to return the favour and cook a meal for him, but don't want to appear desparate by asking now!
hurley21 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I disagree. He wouldn't have invited you over after the initial meeting if he wasn't interested. Also, he does this nervous thing at the end of all of your encounters, so I think that he doesn't know how to proceed with you. That is definitely a confidence issue. I can imagine that he didn't know what should happen next- do you watch some TV together, keep talking, go out for icecream, or end the lunch? I can see the confusion. However, was there an awkward conversation at some point?
Author ajf123 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Thanks for replying... the conversation was pretty light most of the time and any time otherwise we agreed on the topics, so nothing awkward, no silences, that's why its confusing. The only awkward time has been at the end of both dates. I was nervous to say anything like to arrange to meet again because I really don't want to come across to keen. So my words came out a bit garbled like "next time you're over my way let me know..." so maybe I'm just as guilty at mixed messages!
Professor X Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 To clarify myself, I think he's no interested because he's obviously not shy - he asked on a date as well as cooked for you. And ending the 2nd date with a "maybe we'll meet, maybe we'll not" kinda of saying is just... bad.
abbeylouwho Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 i think he's just shy! Most people who do online dating seem to be shy and a little awkward with stuff. (And I'm def not knocking it cause I do it too!) haha but seriously, he invited you over and was nervous at the end. I think it's completely normal.
Author ajf123 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Professor X you were right, I emailed asking the question, not interested - not over ex.
Professor X Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Professor X you were right, I emailed asking the question, not interested - not over ex. I'm sorry to hear I'm sure you'll find a new guy soon enough! You sound like a great person so that shouldn't be a problem; Good luck =)
vsmini Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 AJF I'm proud of you for confronting him and figuring out what the deal was. 9 times out of 10 if a guy is interested you will know. Yes some are shy and slow-moving but it is RARE and so many women ignore it and just assume the guy is shy. Brava AJF. You were smart, got the answer and can move on to someone who will be totally into you
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