boricua Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 so here is another one to add to the many others. and yes, im new here and signed up for advice. i was married for 10 yrs, things werent working out, we split up. cool. i moved out and was alone for about 3 months before i got in touch with an old friend from school. we just were friends with nothing more but that changed. at that point, she was engaged with a pending marriage. her fiancee is a dj and in one of his nights out in NYC, he ended up doing god knows what and ****ed up. she was upset and hurt, so she came over and we ended up sleeping together. it shoulda ended there but it didnt. i knew it wasnt anything more than sex, so i didnt commit to her, cmon, shes engaged. but i hung out with her, feelings got involved, and we had a connection, even then she still went and got married. i met a wonderful woman at a lil party for my friends going away to the army celebration. we talked, clicked, no number exchange. met up a week later, had a casual dinner, exchange numbers, started talking. ends up she was engaged but they are splitting up. yet another one i can't commit to because of previous relationships. but we still talk, hook up, watever. she did however, break up with her fiancee, move out, introduce me to her friends and family, and she gave me the time of day. we went on vacation together, had great times, she met my daughter, and i fell in love with her. for idk what reason, things continued this way, with both women, for a year. the bomb exploded one day when my phone screwed me over, and they found out about each other. they called each other, exchanged info, messages, pics, whatever. you name it, they spoke of it. i did an osama bin laden and hid in my cave of a room for 2 months, with no guts to approach either one of them. embarrased. but i knew i needed to at least apologized. so i sent the married one a long apology letter. she ends up sending it to the other chick. so when i approached girl 2 and apologize, she can't believe a word i say because i left her for second. so now what. ive been talkin to her for 2 weeks and im willing to do whatever i need to do to get another chance. help, critize, let me have it.
Professor X Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Chains are off. LOL that you decided to apologize to the married one first, WAY TO GO! I mean, it's not like she was a saint, amirite? She was cheating on her H with you! and you apologized to her first?! for what? for cheating the cheater? LOL! "yet another one i can't commit to because of previous relationships." - BULL****! say's who? YOU didn't wanna commit to her. Period. Some people don't need time to heal after, they simply skip to another RS that can last for years (unlike rebound). "when my phone screwed me over" - WRONG. You screwed yourself over, not your phone. Now, since it's you who want her back and I have no idea what she wants, even though she should be wanting to throw your dumb sorry ass to the snakes, all I can advice you is to give her all the space that she needs and do whatever she tells you, e.g. let her check your emails freely, let her check your phone and phone bills, let her always know where you are - whatever time that may be, etc etc. YOU completely trashed her trust in you and this is something nearly impossible to rebuild. So keep in mind it might never work out again.
OldOnTheInside Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 so now what. ive been talkin to her for 2 weeks and im willing to do whatever i need to do to get another chance. help, critize, let me have it. Nothing you can do but wait and see... Seriously, how did you think this was going to end?
Woman In Blue Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I guess all you can do is hope to evolve one day, as you can see what happens when one thinks with his d*ck.
DollyGirl12 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 It's not fun being the person on the other end of someone cheating. I can attest to that. Who knows if she will one day forgive you or be able to regain trust in you. A year is a long time to have 2 things going on with 2 women. It's not an OOPSY, although I don't think any form of cheating should be excused. Possibly you can try working on yourself to find out why you behave(d) this way. Is it a one time thing or has this been a pattern for you? Maybe you can see a therapist to try to help you work out whatever issues you may have. If you are doing things to sabotage your relationships then you need to work on that, and possibly be alone while you are doing it.
Chi townD Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Have you ever heard of the phrase, " Play with fire and you're gonna get burned"? Well....now you have!
Author boricua Posted May 9, 2011 Author Posted May 9, 2011 Chains are off. LOL that you decided to apologize to the married one first, WAY TO GO! I mean, it's not like she was a saint, amirite? She was cheating on her H with you! and you apologized to her first?! for what? for cheating the cheater? LOL! "yet another one i can't commit to because of previous relationships." - BULL****! say's who? YOU didn't wanna commit to her. Period. Some people don't need time to heal after, they simply skip to another RS that can last for years (unlike rebound). "when my phone screwed me over" - WRONG. You screwed yourself over, not your phone. Now, since it's you who want her back and I have no idea what she wants, even though she should be wanting to throw your dumb sorry ass to the snakes, all I can advice you is to give her all the space that she needs and do whatever she tells you, e.g. let her check your emails freely, let her check your phone and phone bills, let her always know where you are - whatever time that may be, etc etc. YOU completely trashed her trust in you and this is something nearly impossible to rebuild. So keep in mind it might never work out again. thanx for being so real and blunt. thats how things should be said. i didnt see commitment with either because they were both involved. once one made a diff to commit, i wanted to return the same, but was so involved with the other that i didnt cut it off when i should have. Nothing you can do but wait and see... Seriously, how did you think this was going to end? i knew it wouldn't end well but in the beginning, nothing was supposed to come from either one. i mean, they both cheated on their men because of me, what can come of that? I guess all you can do is hope to evolve one day, as you can see what happens when one thinks with his d*ck. motha***inwerd It's not fun being the person on the other end of someone cheating. I can attest to that. Who knows if she will one day forgive you or be able to regain trust in you. A year is a long time to have 2 things going on with 2 women. It's not an OOPSY, although I don't think any form of cheating should be excused. Possibly you can try working on yourself to find out why you behave(d) this way. Is it a one time thing or has this been a pattern for you? Maybe you can see a therapist to try to help you work out whatever issues you may have. If you are doing things to sabotage your relationships then you need to work on that, and possibly be alone while you are doing it. i was in a relationship for 10 yrs without cheating. its not something i had done before. being single and free to do as i wish, i got caught up in that and did what i did. now i sit back and regret some of those choices. Have you ever heard of the phrase, " Play with fire and you're gonna get burned"? Well....now you have! i got burned but thank god im still clean update: we've been talkin for over 2 weeks now. we hang out every few days, just talk, eat, have a drink, whatever. nothing crazy. she came over my place for the first time this weekend cuz i was sick, so she stayed for a while. but when she's alone and all she has is thoughts in her head, the messages keep coming in as to how much i ****ed everything up. fml
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