somedude81 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 I'm amazed she still manages to be civil to you. She deserves a medal. More like a nomination for sainthood.
Dust Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 If I were the professor, I'd be fearful for my life. Honestly. You hear that one goal, don’t expect to ever meet Star in real life.
Author one goal Posted May 7, 2011 Author Posted May 7, 2011 She spoke in a loud tone and with a mean look when she told you she would escalate things if you kept contacting her? Shocker! I always like to use a light-hearted tone and a Valley girl accent when I threaten people with potential consequences should they continue to ignore my boundaries. Threats are much more cute with an up tilt, you know? Seriously though: you complained to her supervisor about her "mean" behavior, this, after you spent nearly 2 months ignoring all her attempts at ignoring you. You pushed her boundaries until she had no choice but to put you in your place and then you complained about it - to her supervisor. I'm amazed she still manages to be civil to you. She deserves a medal. I want her to understand I didn't bug her because I hated her, but I had a huge crush on her.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 It does not matter what the thinks or feels now. Just actively ignore her. Treat her as if she was an ex GF. Just immagine what it would be like if you had actually gotten into a relationship with this woman and things went south? Would you really like that? Seeing how someone acts when they reject you can give you a good indication of what being with them would have been like anyway....as soon as you have a real disagreement.
anne1707 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 It does not matter what the thinks or feels now. Just actively ignore her. Treat her as if she was an ex GF. Just immagine what it would be like if you had actually gotten into a relationship with this woman and things went south? Would you really like that? Seeing how someone acts when they reject you can give you a good indication of what being with them would have been like anyway....as soon as you have a real disagreement. Whilst I agree that if all this is real, O G should just ignore her, how on earth can you make it sound as if she is being unreasonable or over the top in her attitude towards OG after all he has done to cause her concern/stress/anxiety/fear?
Mrlonelyone Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Because she is. Talking of feeling threatened by the presence of a guy she rejected is just being overly dramatic. Who tried to remove himself from the situation and she insisted that he come to each and every class. In an earlier thread OG said he wanted to turn in his work for the remainder of class say by email or perhaps putting in her mailbox and just avoid comming to class. She said he has to come to each class. WTH is up with that? What's her game I wonder? Why not just let the man make himself scarce?
Lilmisus Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Because she is. Talking of feeling threatened by the presence of a guy she rejected is just being overly dramatic. Who tried to remove himself from the situation and she insisted that he come to each and every class. In an earlier thread OG said he wanted to turn in his work for the remainder of class say by email or perhaps putting in her mailbox and just avoid comming to class. She said he has to come to each class. WTH is up with that? What's her game I wonder? Why not just let the man make himself scarce? While I agree that that part of the story was extremely confusing and didn't add up (wonder why? ), I don't think that it was an example of how she was unreasonable in anyway. From what I gather, two of those days were supposed to be just student presentations, and the last day he was supposed to hand in an assignment? I don't remember for sure and I don't feel like looking it up, but I know that with some of my professors, they require you to be there for days like that, if for no other reason, than to show respect to the students. If she said that he didn't have to go, then she should allow that privilege to all of her students. If she didn't allow it to all of them, then that would be unfair treatment, even if it was for a justly cause. Also, at least for my university, you're only allowed to miss a certain amount of the classes per semester. After a certain point, they have the right to deduct points from your final grade or fail you from the class. Though for two days a week classes, you're typically allowed I believe five absences, some teachers only allow you two before they fail you. One teacher this past semester only allowed you to miss one class before deducting five points from you final grade for each class. Could have been her reasoning? We also don't even know if it was her decision or the dean's to have him come to each of the classes. Most likely, she went to her first before responding. In the end, it's all about fair treatment to each of the students, and not allowing one to stand out from the rest. Plus, she may not have wanted to risk him turning in the assignment outside of class, whether by e-mail, in person, or dropping it off. At least if he handed it in during class, she would have more control of the situation and what can be said and done. As opposed to him being more in control of the situation and deciding when he wanted to turn it in, and how.
Professor X Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Because she is. Talking of feeling threatened by the presence of a guy she rejected is just being overly dramatic. Who tried to remove himself from the situation and she insisted that he come to each and every class. In an earlier thread OG said he wanted to turn in his work for the remainder of class say by email or perhaps putting in her mailbox and just avoid comming to class. She said he has to come to each class. WTH is up with that? What's her game I wonder? Why not just let the man make himself scarce? Some education facilities got rules regarding attendance in class; Mine had so in some of the courses and if I were to miss even 1 without proper excuse, the teacher would deduct points from my grade. A few courses would fail you automatically if you were to miss 3 of more classes. So no, she has no end game here. P.S. Hitting on your teacher shouldn't give you the right to miss out class; Wish it did though, than I'd hit on all my teachers, even the male ones.
leftfordead2 Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 Because she is. Talking of feeling threatened by the presence of a guy she rejected is just being overly dramatic. Who tried to remove himself from the situation and she insisted that he come to each and every class. In an earlier thread OG said he wanted to turn in his work for the remainder of class say by email or perhaps putting in her mailbox and just avoid comming to class. She said he has to come to each class. WTH is up with that? What's her game I wonder? Why not just let the man make himself scarce? Because she should mix personal issues and work together amirite? Why should he be given the privilege to miss classes? Just because he hit on her? Hell, if other students found out, how would they think? She tried to reject him the first time nicely, but seems like one_goal would not take no for an answer. So now, she firmly says no and she's in the wrong? I say dealing with someone as thick as one_goal, the teacher's firm actions was appropriate. Otherwise, one_goal might think that maybe now is not the appropriate time and he could ask her again at another time.
Kamille Posted May 7, 2011 Posted May 7, 2011 One Goal told me by PM that during the two presentations sessions, the other students were evaluated on their participation to the in-class discussion. When he asked to be excused, he also asked not to have points deducted for missing the discussions. I understand why she told him he couldn't dictate how she would run her class. In effect, she was saying that he had to live with the consequences of deciding to miss or not miss the class. In my view, she was acting professional when she did this and telling him to get over himself and put his identity as a student ahead of whatever romance he felt towards her.
Author one goal Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 So tue is the last day of her class. Would it be okay to buy her a small gift? I mean under $20. Would she like that? Just as something friendly for her? Would it change her thinking towards me? Maybe would at least not have these hostile feelings towards me.
ivalm Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 So tue is the last day of her class. Would it be okay to buy her a small gift? I mean under $20. Would she like that? Just as something friendly for her? Would it change her thinking towards me? Maybe would at least not have these hostile feelings towards me. Please don't? Just don't do anything in regards to her. Don't talk to her, don't give her anything, in fact, don't even think about it!
LexiB Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 So tue is the last day of her class. Would it be okay to buy her a small gift? I mean under $20. Would she like that? Just as something friendly for her? Would it change her thinking towards me? Maybe would at least not have these hostile feelings towards me. :lmao::lmao:
Kamille Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 When you post stuff like that, I end up convinced you're trolling. How can anyone be that oblivious to social clues? She did reitirate to me again every is fine as long as I don't send her any emails ever again or she will escalate the matter and take action. Remember, she's stated multiple times now that she wants you to put the whole thing behind and to move on. If she doesn't want an email from you, I don't imagine she'll appreciate a gift.
oaks Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 So tue is the last day of her class. Would it be okay to buy her a small gift? I mean under $20. Would she like that? Just as something friendly for her? Would it change her thinking towards me? Maybe would at least not have these hostile feelings towards me. Didn't we do the buying-gifts episode last week? Isn't it a bit soon to be doing re-runs?
somedude81 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 Would it change her thinking towards me? Maybe would at least not have these hostile feelings towards me. From the way things have happened, a gift would infuriate her. For the love of all that is just in this world, please don't talk to her ever again.
Author one goal Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 From the way things have happened, a gift would infuriate her. For the love of all that is just in this world, please don't talk to her ever again. I thought a gift would make her happy. Why would that infuriate her as long as if its appropriate gift?
somedude81 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 She wants you to leave her alone. So she will interpret you giving her a gift is basically telling her that you don't care how she feels and that you have no respect for her.
Kamille Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 I thought a gift would make her happy. Why would that infuriate her as long as if its appropriate gift? She won't appreciate the gift because yet again, you would be crossing that professional boundary. You really need to think about professional ethics OG. Plus, your very intention in giving the gift is manipulative: you're hoping to "win her over" and "change her mind". She'll also realize what you're trying to do and will appreciate the gift even less. OG, you have to learn when to fold them. You played, you lost. Give it up and move on to the next game.
Author one goal Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 She won't appreciate the gift because yet again, you would be crossing that professional boundary. You really need to think about professional ethics OG. Plus, your very intention in giving the gift is manipulative: you're hoping to "win her over" and "change her mind". She'll also realize what you're trying to do and will appreciate the gift even less. OG, you have to learn when to fold them. You played, you lost. Give it up and move on to the next game. But maybe I can make furious comeback the last class. How would she know if I'm trying to win her over or just being nice? If she doesn't accept it then she really does have some personality issues.
anne1707 Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 If she doesn't accept it then she really does have some personality issues. This is possibly the most ridiculous comment I have ever seen on LS :mad::mad:
Author one goal Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 Should I maybe ask the dept head if it would be appropriate?
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 What student buys his professor gifts? Seriously? The closest I've ever come to that has been handing out copies of my own cds, and that's because they've expressed interest in hearing them. $20 can buy you a dinner at a fancy restaurant, or a nice pair of sneakers. Are you rich? Why waste the money on someone who doesn't give a metaphorical crap about you?
Kamille Posted May 8, 2011 Posted May 8, 2011 How would she know if I'm trying to win her over or just being nice? Because she's already asked you to cut that **** out. By buying her a gift, you would be overlooking not only her request, but your agreement to respect it.
Author one goal Posted May 8, 2011 Author Posted May 8, 2011 What student buys his professor gifts? Seriously? The closest I've ever come to that has been handing out copies of my own cds, and that's because they've expressed interest in hearing them. $20 can buy you a dinner at a fancy restaurant, or a nice pair of sneakers. Are you rich? Why waste the money on someone who doesn't give a metaphorical crap about you? I just want to leaving a positive, lasting impression on her.
Recommended Posts