Nexus One Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I feel nothing can be productive from the two of us saying anything to each other. Not just unproductive, also plain inappropriate. You crossed that line way back already. I really get the idea that you don't get that somehow. When reading your threads and seeing how you kept pushing it again and again, it pretty much gave the idea that there was something wrong with you mentally, as if some part of your brain isn't operating properly and you just don't see it. As if boundaries that exist for healthy human interaction were non-existent or invisible to you, even when people spelled it out in words for you on this forum. It was as if those words didn't register, as if they were invisible to you. I'm not saying this to insult you, I'm just telling you the vibe I got from your posts. It seemed as if you portrayed sociopathic behavior. A sociopath is someone who can inflict suffering and pain upon other people, but they cannot register the suffering and pain they inflict. So they keep doing it over and over again without knowing that they're in fact doing something wrong. And while I'm writing this, I already get the feeling that these words will be invisible to you, as if your brain is not going to register them. If you give off such vibes OG, then you need to seriously self-reflect on your behavior.
mitchell Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Not just unproductive, also plain inappropriate. You crossed that line way back already. I really get the idea that you don't get that somehow. When reading your threads and seeing how you kept pushing it again and again, it pretty much gave the idea that there was something wrong with you mentally, as if some part of your brain isn't operating properly and you just don't see it. As if boundaries that exist for healthy human interaction were non-existent or invisible to you, even when people spelled it out in words for you on this forum. It was as if those words didn't register, as if they were invisible to you. I'm not saying this to insult you, I'm just telling you the vibe I got from your posts. It seemed as if you portrayed sociopathic behavior. A sociopath is someone who can inflict suffering and pain upon other people, but they cannot register the suffering and pain they inflict. So they keep doing it over and over again without knowing that they're in fact doing something wrong. And while I'm writing this, I already get the feeling that these words will be invisible to you, as if your brain is not going to register them. If you give off such vibes OG, then you need to seriously self-reflect on your behavior. Possibly one of the greatests posts I've ever read. Nicely worded, Nexusone. Sade that the OP will not even read or understand what you have written.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Possibly one of the greatests posts I've ever read. Nicely worded, Nexusone. Sade that the OP will not even read or understand what you have written. I understand. I'm not nuts. It's that I still don't have a girlfriend, and when I saw this extreamly good looking single woman, and having to be in class with her twice a week for 1 15 mins it's tempting to flirt, hit on her.
mitchell Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 I understand. I'm not nuts. It's that I still don't have a girlfriend, and when I saw this extreamly good looking single woman, and having to be in class with her twice a week for 1 15 mins it's tempting to flirt, hit on her. I think your quote sums things up nicely. You have absolutely no perception that your actions were out of line. Your initial approach might have been perceived as harmless, but your continued pursuit despite her rebukes really speaks to your underlying obsessive personality. Believe me. She thinks you are crazy. She is afraid of you and your behavior. She can't wait for this class to end. What a nightmare for her to have an obsessive student pester her and report her to her superior. Do yourself and her a favor and just slink away. Don't ever contact her again.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 I think your quote sums things up nicely. You have absolutely no perception that your actions were out of line. Your initial approach might have been perceived as harmless, but your continued pursuit despite her rebukes really speaks to your underlying obsessive personality. Believe me. She thinks you are crazy. She is afraid of you and your behavior. She can't wait for this class to end. What a nightmare for her to have an obsessive student pester her and report her to her superior. Do yourself and her a favor and just slink away. Don't ever contact her again. I wont ever contact her again. She was pretty blunt now. Like I said she turned away when she handed me my paper, and after class when I just wanted to thank her for being kind and not getting me into trouble she was very stern. Like today she was happy all class except of course when it came to me. I mean she couldn't even hand me a peice of paper without shunning away. Why can't she get over it? I've gotten over it and don't email her anymore. Why can't she forget about it?
Dust Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Not just unproductive, also plain inappropriate. You crossed that line way back already. I really get the idea that you don't get that somehow. When reading your threads and seeing how you kept pushing it again and again, it pretty much gave the idea that there was something wrong with you mentally, as if some part of your brain isn't operating properly and you just don't see it. As if boundaries that exist for healthy human interaction were non-existent or invisible to you, even when people spelled it out in words for you on this forum. It was as if those words didn't register, as if they were invisible to you. I'm not saying this to insult you, I'm just telling you the vibe I got from your posts. I’d love to get through to One Goal to but you seem to be taking his self destructive behavior too personally. Some of what he did was cool. It’s just he executed it all wrong. It seemed as if you portrayed sociopathic behavior. A sociopath is someone who can inflict suffering and pain upon other people' date=' but they cannot register the suffering and pain they inflict. So they keep doing it over and over again without knowing that they're in fact doing something wrong.[/quote'] I think most of the pain he inflicts is upon himself through obsessing and being socially oblivious. If he was a sociopath he probably would be doing better with the ladies. And while I'm writing this' date=' I already get the feeling that these words will be invisible to you, as if your brain is not going to register them. If you give off such vibes OG, then you need to seriously self-reflect on your behavior. [/quote'] He has to learn this stuff for himself. All we can try to do is motivate him to do what is best for him. I get frustrated myself not just with him, but with practically every poster here. I still have fun posting here so I continue. Personally I think it’s cool that he had the balls to try. I think he should have done it a little more subtly like asking for extra help studying and suggest they meet at a restaurant or lounge for a drink to talk about “class.” I also think he was foolish if he wants to act like he didn’t see the potential for things to go the way they did. Also, never put stuff in writing for so many reasons including its lame and more importantly it was going to be evidence if things went wrong. One Goal makes his life harder. With age he might learn this. I’m sure there were prettier and more available girls all over his campus and in his class that he could have asked for help “studying” and had a good chance at starting a relationship. He’s wasting his energy and thoughts on the wrong things. He seems afraid of women and over thinks himself and probably doesn’t come off genuine. He needs to just be himself.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 I’d love to get through to One Goal to but you seem to be taking his self destructive behavior too personally. Some of what he did was cool. It’s just he executed it all wrong. I think most of the pain he inflicts is upon himself through obsessing and being socially oblivious. If he was a sociopath he probably would be doing better with the ladies. He has to learn this stuff for himself. All we can try to do is motivate him to do what is best for him. I get frustrated myself not just with him, but with practically every poster here. I still have fun posting here so I continue. Personally I think it’s cool that he had the balls to try. I think he should have done it a little more subtly like asking for extra help studying and suggest they meet at a restaurant or lounge for a drink to talk about “class.” I also think he was foolish if he wants to act like he didn’t see the potential for things to go the way they did. Also, never put stuff in writing for so many reasons including its lame and more importantly it was going to be evidence if things went wrong. One Goal makes his life harder. With age he might learn this. I’m sure there were prettier and more available girls all over his campus and in his class that he could have asked for help “studying” and had a good chance at starting a relationship. He’s wasting his energy and thoughts on the wrong things. He seems afraid of women and over thinks himself and probably doesn’t come off genuine. He needs to just be himself. The asking for help part, the class is pretty easy. I did basically ask her if she wanted to get coffee 'she drinks it in class a lot' or go out to lunch. The next class she said it was totally inappropriate and that. I'm not trying to judge someone, but from what I've read on her rate my professor comments, and from seeing her how she acts in class she generally is a nice gal if she likes you. However if she doesn't like you, she lets you know it. That is what others on ratemyprofessor say, and that is my observation from class when others have a disagreement with her, and of course in my experince too. The dept head was saying I was trying to judge her saying she dislikes me, but seriously she just doesn't like me. I'm talking the body language and social ques lately. Especially the last two weeks. Her whole attitude has become very defensive against me. Even asking a simple question or wanting to have a word with her she puts her defense up really fast and is not pleasant with me. Wont crack a smile or anything. Today is a classic example. She was in a nice mood except when it came to any sort of interaction with me. I could tell she mentally was thinking "f*ck off." except she can't say that because Im a student. However if she saw me in public I wouldn't be shocked if she said those words. It's just her personality I can tell from being in class the last 4 months. While she has a nice side, she's the kind of woman that also can be very mean when she needs to be and let you know it.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 What alarms me is the teachers reactions. It now sounds like she thinks I'm some kind of predator now the language she used, and about how it would escalated if I had not corrected my behavior. I'm not a predator, and I never intended to upset her and make her feel that way. Now I have someone who is upset with me and is probably creeped out by me and possibly scared of me.
Nexus One Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 (edited) What alarms me is the teachers reactions. It now sounds like she thinks I'm some kind of predator now the language she used, and about how it would escalated if I had not corrected my behavior. I'm not a predator, and I never intended to upset her and make her feel that way. Now I have someone who is upset with me and is probably creeped out by me and possibly scared of me. That's because you kept pushing it. It might not have been your intention for her to become scared, creeped out and upset, but by pushing it beyond the first time you gave off signals to her that trigger those emotions in her. Because if you pursue someone and don't stop at the boundary of appropriateness, then you corner that person and that person will react accordingly out of fear. To pretty much everyone on this forum the reaction of the teacher is not surprising or alarming, except to you. Now what does that tell you, self-reflect, you went beyond appropriateness and kept pushing. This time you came off with a warning, so let it be a lesson for you. Learn from it. Learn where people set their boundaries and not to cross them, learn what is appropriate and to not push beyond that. Edited May 5, 2011 by Nexus One
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Every coherent woman on Earth would have reacted the same way your teacher did. Or much worse.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 That's because you kept pushing it. It might not have been your intention for her to become scared, creeped out and upset, but by pushing it beyond the first time you gave off signals to her that trigger those emotions in her. Because if you pursue someone and don't stop at the boundary of appropriateness, then you corner that person and that person will react accordingly out of fear. To pretty much everyone on this forum the reaction of the teacher is not surprising or alarming, except to you. Now what does that tell you, self-reflect, you went beyond appropriateness and kept pushing. This time you came off with a warning, so let it be a lesson for you. Learn from it. Learn where people set their boundaries and not to cross them, learn what is appropriate and to not push beyond that. I did email her a lot, but most of the time it was class related, except for a few times I made a comment about that tattoo, and going to a game, and the first time ever was when I asked her out. Otherwise I did not harass her, or say anything sexual in nature. Like the dept head told me from what she read it would be borderline she thinks, but that I don't want to find out. I'm still a little concerned she could change her mind though and make a complaint. Just based on how this lady acts wishy washy. Why do women have to get so freaked out over guys? They're really quicky to accuse guys of being stalkers. Infact just a couple days ago there was a thread on here about how girls are quick to call a guy a stalker.
Lorelei_Lane Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 This is amusing. You harass this poor women, then have the gall to say she's crazy Are you going to get some therapy? You really need it....
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 This is amusing. You harass this poor women, then have the gall to say she's crazy Are you going to get some therapy? You really need it.... I didn't say she's crazy. Just hard to figure out. She tends to be moody on some days.
Nexus One Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I did email her a lot, but most of the time it was class related, except for a few times I made a comment about that tattoo, and going to a game, and the first time ever was when I asked her out. Otherwise I did not harass her, or say anything sexual in nature. Like the dept head told me from what she read it would be borderline she thinks, but that I don't want to find out. I'm still a little concerned she could change her mind though and make a complaint. Just based on how this lady acts wishy washy. Why do women have to get so freaked out over guys? They're really quicky to accuse guys of being stalkers. Infact just a couple days ago there was a thread on here about how girls are quick to call a guy a stalker. Oh come on. Don't downplay your part in this debacle. You pushed it OG, whether you want to admit that to yourself or not. And don't twist this thing around like it's her fault. Damn you are difficult.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 Oh come on. Don't downplay your part in this debacle. You pushed it OG, whether you want to admit that to yourself or not. And don't twist this thing around like it's her fault. Damn you are difficult. I was wrong to email her so much instead of asking about some of the stuff in class. However it pains me that I'm viewed as some pervert, stalker, criminal by some on here. I'm not.
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I was wrong to email her so much instead of asking about some of the stuff in class. However it pains me that I'm viewed as some pervert, stalker, criminal by some on here. I'm not. I don't view you as a stalker, or a criminal, or a pervert. You strike me as somoeone who is passionate yet completely naive and unwilling to stop and think. You were told by ALL of us not to ask your teacher out. You did anyway and ignored all the advice. You ignored all other advice when everyone told you to not email her.. There is something you're not 'getting' and it's this kind of behaviour that could lead to bad choices that could get you into alot more trouble. When someone says No. It means no. When you get the feeling a woman isn't interested, even after you ask her out, stop. Leave her alone. don't pursue. Boundries and respect.
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 Why can't she get over it? I've gotten over it and don't email her anymore. Why can't she forget about it? But you are NOT over it, far from it. She has forgotten about it, and she's not obsessing about this like you are. What goes on in your head and your own truth is NOT what goes on in her head and her truth. Make sense? You think of her outside of class? All this stuff? When not at school? You need to move past this and let it go, forget completely.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 I don't view you as a stalker, or a criminal, or a pervert. You strike me as somoeone who is passionate yet completely naive and unwilling to stop and think. You were told by ALL of us not to ask your teacher out. You did anyway and ignored all the advice. You ignored all other advice when everyone told you to not email her.. There is something you're not 'getting' and it's this kind of behaviour that could lead to bad choices that could get you into alot more trouble. When someone says No. It means no. When you get the feeling a woman isn't interested, even after you ask her out, stop. Leave her alone. don't pursue. Boundries and respect. Well the first time I asked her out via email and we talked about it after class she never said NO. She just said it wasn't appropriate and that. So I figured maybe when Im not a student of hers anymore I could try again, So I backed off her and was just friendly to her whenever I saw her, asked her how she was doing ect. I then sent a facebook request because I saw lots of her other students on her friends list. After a couple days it didn't get approved so thats when I asked her after class about it and she said "I won't do that." That is when I got the hint that okay she really doesn't want to. Only other time I mentioned something is when I slipped a bit and asked her if I could take her to a hockey game in the fall since it sounded like she might be interested in it. so no it's not like I constantly bugged her for a actual DATE every time I saw her and every day emailing her about it.
whichwayisup Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 She just said it wasn't appropriate That was her way of saying no to you..Nicely..Hoping you'd get the hint.
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I was wrong to email her so much instead of asking about some of the stuff in class. However it pains me that I'm viewed as some pervert, stalker, criminal by some on here. I'm not. You haven't come off as a criminal or a pervert - you HAVE come off as a stalker here. I know that you don't see yourself that way, but you have portrayed yourself that way. You don't KNOW this woman. You don't know if she is moody, wishy washy, whatever. You are projecting everything about her from yourself. It's disconcerting to read. I hope you will get some professional help if you seriously want to have an actual relationship one day - one that involves real interaction between you and a woman.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 You haven't come off as a criminal or a pervert - you HAVE come off as a stalker here. I know that you don't see yourself that way, but you have portrayed yourself that way. You don't KNOW this woman. You don't know if she is moody, wishy washy, whatever. You are projecting everything about her from yourself. It's disconcerting to read. I hope you will get some professional help if you seriously want to have an actual relationship one day - one that involves real interaction between you and a woman. I'm not saying she's like that outside the classroom, but she acts that way in class. It does hurt my feelings though when such an attractive lady as herself almost got me in trouble. Especially when you had feelings for them and wanted to go out with them. That did hurt when she was so harsh, and the tone of voice she used today when she was so blunt. Last week though that email to me she was pretty stern saying I dont tell her how to run the class.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 But honestly ... you're joking, right? I'm serious it did hurt my feelings. It's normal to have your feelings hurt when you're rejected.
Author one goal Posted May 6, 2011 Author Posted May 6, 2011 But you are NOT over it, far from it. She has forgotten about it, and she's not obsessing about this like you are. What goes on in your head and your own truth is NOT what goes on in her head and her truth. Make sense? You think of her outside of class? All this stuff? When not at school? You need to move past this and let it go, forget completely. I try not to think about it outside school much. Except when I was worried I'd get in trouble. I wish she would have just given me a shot. She's is that drop dead pretty looking!
vsmini Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 I try not to think about it outside school much. Except when I was worried I'd get in trouble. I wish she would have just given me a shot. She's is that drop dead pretty looking! Well she didn't so get over it. Your feelings got hurt. Happens to everyone. Your life could be worse. There isn't really anything more to say.
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