Author one goal Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 It could just be the way you approch it. How do you ask them out? Words can have an effect it just depends on the word. So does body language. Here is a tip, never talk to a woman while your whole body is facing her. That is perceived as threatening. What you should do instead in have the side of the your body face them, like your walking together. Always smile, be friendly. That is not perceived as threatening, and will give better success. Also, when it comes to women, its a number game. You just need to keep at it and eventually someone will say yes. Here is the email I posted here when I emailed her and asked her if she wants to hangout. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Hey. How is your week off going?[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I’ve been meaning to ask you in class, but I’m shy sometimes but I was wondering if maybe sometime, or after class we could meet up and have lunch or coffee together or go hangout somewhere? You seem like a really nice person xxx and I’d like to get to know you better If I could[/sIZE][/FONT]
Lilmisus Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 It could just be the way you approch it. How do you ask them out? Words can have an effect it just depends on the word. So does body language. Here is a tip, never talk to a woman while your whole body is facing her. That is perceived as threatening. What you should do instead in have the side of the your body face them, like your walking together. Always smile, be friendly. That is not perceived as threatening, and will give better success. Also, when it comes to women, its a number game. You just need to keep at it and eventually someone will say yes. All you have to do is look at his past threads to realize why it is these women turned him down. He goes after the unattainable women and doesn't realize why it is he can't have them. What he needs is to stop obsessing each time a hot chick comes into his life, and learn that there are certain boundaries that should not be crossed, ever. If they are in a relationship already, they're a no. If they are your teacher, they're a no. If they could risk their job over dating you, they're a no. If they say no, they are a no. It's because of all his freaky and obsessive stories though that I stick to what I said a while ago and say he is a troll. Either that or he's the world's biggest idiot.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I figured I'd give the advice, if he chose to use it he can, if he ignores it, not my problem.
oaks Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 When I first talked to her about going out she didn't say NO. I thought you told us that she told you that it wouldn't be appropriate. That's a no. Basically if you ask a girl out and she says "yes" then it's a yes, and anything else isn't a yes, and if it's not a yes then it's a no. By your own account you've asked out plenty of girls and none of them have said yes, so I don't see how you haven't figured this out yet. Oh, unless you're just making up this whole story. Can we just skip ahead to the point where you get your grades and you don't like them and you call your teacher a bitch and you get hauled in front of the school board for harassment while simultaneously trying to appeal your grade? I'm looking forward to that installment of this story. What date are you posting that chapter?
lizwashere Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I thought you told us that she told you that it wouldn't be appropriate. That's a no. Basically if you ask a girl out and she says "yes" then it's a yes, and anything else isn't a yes, and if it's not a yes then it's a no. By your own account you've asked out plenty of girls and none of them have said yes, so I don't see how you haven't figured this out yet. Oh, unless you're just making up this whole story. Can we just skip ahead to the point where you get your grades and you don't like them and you call your teacher a bitch and you get hauled in front of the school board for harassment while simultaneously trying to appeal your grade? I'm looking forward to that installment of this story. What date are you posting that chapter? If OG is in fact telling us the truth his tale of woe is a fine example of why so many women have to be outright mean to some men in order for them to get the hint. What I find particularly offensive is how he's twisted the events around to make her the villain and to blame her for what's happened without taking any personal responsibility for his actions.
mitchell Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 I really feel for your teacher. She probably dreads going to class when she knows you will be there. I can guarantee you that she is counting the days until your class is over and she never has to interact with you again.
Lorelei_Lane Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 If OG is in fact telling us the truth his tale of woe is a fine example of why so many women have to be outright mean to some men in order for them to get the hint. What I find particularly offensive is how he's twisted the events around to make her the villain and to blame her for what's happened without taking any personal responsibility for his actions. This!!!!! ^^^^
Author one goal Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 The thing that gets me is why did the department head say the things I said to her could have been borderline harassing? I emailed her a lot, and after class I'd talk to her and that, but how would that be harassing is what I'm wondering. Also I'm kinda embarassed my teacher showed my emails to others. The dept head said the teacher was ignoring my emails on purpose for the most part.
collegeguy_24 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 The thing that gets me is why did the department head say the things I said to her could have been borderline harassing? I emailed her a lot, and after class I'd talk to her and that, but how would that be harassing is what I'm wondering. Its harassing because you never left her alone. You ignored the fact that she was silent and not answering you and kept going at it. What you displayed was borderline stalking, I know it, your teacher knows it, the department head knows it, and everyone on this forum knows it. THe only one who doesn't know it, is you.
Survivor12 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 "I emailed her a lot, and after class I'd talk to her and that, but how would that be harassing is what I'm wondering." This has been explained to you ad nauseum. Stop wasting people's time here and either re-read what has already been said or, better yet, ask a therapist. "Also I'm kinda embarassed my teacher showed my emails to others." Why??? You've shown them yourself on this site and have shown no apparent shame for your idiocy so you certainly have reason to be embarrassed, but it's no one's fault but your own. Stop trying to play the victim.
Author one goal Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 One thing about all this is I didn't bug her a lot because i wanted to be mean to her, but because I really liked her a lot and got a little carried away showing my affection to her. How else was I supposed to express my feelings to her?
collegeguy_24 Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 One thing about all this is I didn't bug her a lot because i wanted to be mean to her, but because I really liked her a lot and got a little carried away showing my affection to her. How else was I supposed to express my feelings to her? Your not, thats the point. You askd her out, expressed you were interested. She said no, she was not interested. you should have left it at that.
Lilmisus Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 One thing about all this is I didn't bug her a lot because i wanted to be mean to her, but because I really liked her a lot and got a little carried away showing my affection to her. How else was I supposed to express my feelings to her? Yes! You recognize the fact that you bugged her. You answered your own question about how it was harassment. When you bug someone..especially with non-stop e-mails or anything else..that's borderline harassment. From the looks of it, you get it! If you have any more questions, I guarantee they've already been answered in the past month and a half since this story began. Just look at the other 15 threads you made. So, now that we have that out of the way...this story can finally end, right?
djhall Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 How else was I supposed to express my feelings to her? You weren't. The first time you tried, maybe, but after that was rejected you were expected to limit yourself strictly to that which was directly related to your classwork and NOTHING else, NOTHING personal about either of you. Failing to stop when she doesn't express any interest back is harassing.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 One thing I worry about does she think I'm some nutcase?
Dust Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 One thing I worry about does she think I'm some nutcase? Probably, but that shouldn’t worry you. I feel like you don’t listen to my advice. Also when you hit on women that could get you in trouble you give everything a double meaning, and most importantly you don’t leave evidence like emails etc.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Probably, but that shouldn’t worry you. I feel like you don’t listen to my advice. Also when you hit on women that could get you in trouble you give everything a double meaning, and most importantly you don’t leave evidence like emails etc. yea, the dept head told me the teach has evidence which was a bad choice she said. At the time I asked her out I didn't think it was unprofessional. I figured we're grown ups and there is no problem asking her out.
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 At the time I asked her out I didn't think it was unprofessional. I figured we're grown ups and there is no problem asking her out BUT WE ALL TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA when you asked if you should ask her out! You chose to ignore the advice given. OG, you created this mess all by yourself.
whichwayisup Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 One thing I worry about does she think I'm some nutcase? Maybe, maybe not. But one thing is for sure, she has made it perfectly clear that she is NOT interested in you. Not interested in dating you, not interested in having a friendship with you.
alethean Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 BUT WE ALL TOLD YOU IT WAS A BAD IDEA when you asked if you should ask her out! You chose to ignore the advice given. OG, you created this mess all by yourself. OG, sometimes I wonder what you're smoking...can I have some?
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 One thing I worry about does she think I'm some nutcase? Of course she does!
mitchell Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 One thing I worry about does she think I'm some nutcase? Yes, she thinks you're a nutcase. She's also worried that you will turn into some crazed stalker. Why else would she go to her department head? She's counting down the minutes until your class is over and she will never have to see you again.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 Class went smooth again today. She had our grades up until now for us, and she told me I have a 95 percent! So she hasn't judged me on this screw up I did. I didn't even speak to her much at all. She did reitirate to me again every is fine as long as I don't send her any emails ever again or she will escalate the matter and take action. I told her rest assure and told her I appreciate her kindness and that I'm thankful how she handled this without getting me in serious trouble. Again she was very stern with it and serious dont p*ss me off look. I only have one last class left with her and I'm done! One thing I want to comment is on body language. Before class she was going around and handing papers back to us. When she handed my paper back she didn't say anything and even kinda turned away from me when handing it to me so she didn't have to look at me. I guess that means she doesn't even want simple interaction with her she's trying to tell me.
Dust Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 Class went smooth again today. She had our grades up until now for us, and she told me I have a 95 percent! So she hasn't judged me on this screw up I did. I didn't even speak to her much at all. She did reitirate to me again every is fine as long as I don't send her any emails ever again or she will escalate the matter and take action. I told her rest assure and told her I appreciate her kindness and that I'm thankful how she handled this without getting me in serious trouble. Again she was very stern with it and serious dont p*ss me off look. I only have one last class left with her and I'm done! One thing I want to comment is on body language. Before class she was going around and handing papers back to us. When she handed my paper back she didn't say anything and even kinda turned away from me when handing it to me so she didn't have to look at me. I guess that means she doesn't even want simple interaction with her she's trying to tell me. The less you think about it the better. This woman can cause you trouble just stay away.
Author one goal Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 The less you think about it the better. This woman can cause you trouble just stay away. I totally agree. This last two weeks so has really gone into a don't p*ss me off mode with me. I agree. Her general demeanor towards me has greatly changed for the worse. However I think its because last week when I got into the argument in email about not wanting to be in her class, and she snapped back at me was the turning point. I don't speak up in class now. I feel nothing can be productive from the two of us saying anything to each other.
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