surfrider4284 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I've been through this whole thing with my first love (this was many years ago). It was hell. True, utter, hell. It was my first experience going through it. I am now on the verge of ending a 2nd serious relationship. We've been together for much longer (5yrs) than the first (18 months), but obviously, the second is not my "first love". I've been through this before, and have a better idea of what to exepct. Does anyone find that their 2nd, 3rd, etc. breakups with serious partners isn't as hard as the first? If this is as hard as the first, I'm in for a world of pain...
MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I'm going to have to say..my 2nd one...was WORSE way worse...I thought my first love was going to hurt the most...but it didn't...I guess I expected more from the second and it's worse. ouch. Everyone including my ex was like you've been through this before you know you'll be okay....but what they don't get is that I wouldn't have gotten involved with someone else unless I really thought he was the one...stupid now I know. It does hurt. Good thing is you know that you can and will survive but it hurts more...cause you are older now and more mature and you expected more from this second person.
nana841121 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Of course there is no standard answer to this question. it's quite individual. i am a believer of self-recovery ability if you are an optimist about true love, you will fall in love every time as hard as the first time. don't underestimate the power of self-recovery Memory is just memory, it doesn't has much substantial power as we thought just roll forward with life. you are the only hero in your life.
ASG Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 My break up with my first love was actually quite easy, when compared to other break ups. 1st love isn't all that! It's just the first. Doesn't mean that it's the strongest or the best. And even though I actually loved my 1st love more than, say, my 4th, the break up with the 4th was HORRIBLE to get through and took many months (whereas with the 1st, even though I was still very much in love with him, I was over it in a few days. Not over him exactly, but over the pain, because it was a bit of an abusive relationship and I was TIRED of his ****. So I felt liberated, even if I still loved him dearly)
dragonfly22 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 My second one is being MUCH worse. I guess because it was longer (5 years) and because we were engaged. I had planned to spend the rest of my life with him, pictured who are kids would look like, saw myself growing old next to him and now it is all gone. This is certainly worse than breaking up with my first love. I was only 20 then and even if I did love him, it was easier to think "oh I'm so young, I'll find someone later". I know at 26 i will definitely find someone later too but the connection me and my ex had, they way I planned my life next to him, is making this WAY more difficult.
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