DSM2709 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I have a next door neighbor who was just a "FWB" for the last 3 months, I met her back in July 2010 when I moved into a new apartment. Then just suddenly she switched on me and is now seeing another guy...the worst thing is, she is literally right next door to me, so I see his car in the parking lot every time he's here. So my thoughts are spinning just imagining her giving him those "benefits" that I just recently was getting. Even though we were and are still technically "Just Friends", I hate thinking about what's she doing with this other guy. It drives me absolutely crazy, we were never bf/gf but it doesn't matter to me. I enjoyed hanging out with her, we would drink, and have dinner together. She would come over to my place and vice versa, we would go out to places, eat, drink, watch movies, have casual sex...etc etc. Worst thing is, she is a TRAINWRECK, she was raped when she was young, she's been in many bad relationships with who knows how many other guys before her and I started hanging out together. She was heavy into drugs in her younger years, she drinks, she's bi-sexual (Doesn't bother me), she told me about her best friend who committed suicide a few years ago, so she's also been diagnosed as clinacally depressed and to top it all off, she currently has a serious kidney disease and if she keeps going in the path she's going, her health could get much worse. So, she's been warned by her doctors. She is amazingly beautiful and so freaking hot and she's only 27. I guess I got attached to her too quickly and she did warn me from the beginning not to or she would go away. I didn't think I was getting attached, but whatever. I guess I was just too nice to her and she picked up on that and started seeing this other guy. A couple of weeks ago, she told me after we had dinner together one night that she recently had sex with her ex-boyfriend who by the way was a heroin addict. Not sure if I believe her or not because why would she risk her health even more? and now she's banging this other "new" guy. I think she just said that to scare me away, but who knows, maybe she really did, IDK. I care about her and cares what happens to her, but don't know how to LET GO!! I want to give her a peice of my mind, but I also feel like If I did that, I would lose her friendship. I sometimes don't know how to deal with it, even though we were never in a relationship. We were just hanging out with benny's only for a few months. Now she's with this other guy, and it kills me when I walk past her apartment and I can hear them talking and laughing it up etc etc, knowing that, that use to be me in there with her doing the same things, just recently....I want to scream sometimes I'm so mad, my wheels won't stop spinning. My friends have told me to just ignore her and if she texts me, to NOT RESPOND and eventually it will bother her. I don't think that it will, because she could look at like "well, the hell with him" and keep doing what she's doing and move on, which in turn would mean she never cared about me in the first place. To sum this woman up, she is someone you can have fun with and have a good time, but you would NEVER want to bring her home to meet mom....LOL!!! Here is my dilemma, we both agreed that we would get out M'cycle permits together which we did already. She's a typical Harley chick too, tattoo's, rock n roll etc etc...Now, we are both going to take the basic riders course together this weekend, to which we also both agreed to do. I haven't spoken to her in a couple of days and I'm wondering if she does contact me, what do I do? Do I act like this whole thing with her and the new guy doesn't bother me and just play it cool about it even though it's killing me inside, or do I say she's on her own and to go to that course by herself? I want her as a friend, but it's hard for me to accept what she's doing and who's she's with and I know there is nothing I can do about it, it's who she is and will always be. Now, she may just dump this guy after a month or so, because she's done this same thing in the past and she might come back to the safety net (Me) because she knows how much I like her and she knows I'm right there for her (Next door) waiting. I want to be tough and ignore her and I know I am probably better off without getting mixed up with her rocky lifestyle, but I really care about her and I am just so freaking confused and upset. Thanks!!
hurley21 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Avoid her at all costs. You seem like you are at the point where you could break contact off and not be too messed up about it. She is what I call 'beautifully damaged'- these people are extremely beautiful/handsome and have the ability to suck you in because they are so messed up and appear to 'need' you so badly. It feels great to help them. But, when they are so messed up, especially in rape or abuse cases, they just need SOMEONE, not you. She is clearly this type of person. I have been stuck in an insane relationship with a beautifully damaged guy and it has messed me up in ways I don't know if I'll be able to recover from. I am his yo-yo, he gets rid of me and then reels me back in when he needs SOMEONE, not me. I fill that role for him perfectly. So, please, run away now. It only gets worse and you CANNOT fix/change/save her.
JasonRules Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Rental cars should never be purchased for long term use. You use them and dump them. Move on... You can do better than train wrecks...
Mike_d Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 sounds like you know the answers to all your questions already, you're just having a fear based response and are unwilling to face the music
Author DSM2709 Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Hurley21, when you say that you fill that role for him perfectly, what do you mean by that? Your spot on too about her needing someone, not me. It just kills me everytime I hear her next door with this other guy and knowing that it use to be me she was entertaining. Maybe I'm just missing the entertainment, but I was trying to help her. I may be fearful too of facing the music, because I guess I couldn't believe I was hanging out with this hot chick, but now I know I can get other hot chicks right? Thanks guys.
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