LoveHurts89 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 At the weekend, I text him saying: How come not tonight? Please could you let me know when then? I really don't get you Stu. I know you're still in love with me. And I know you still want to be together. And that's why you have refused to see me for weeks. Because I know your feelings come rushing back when you see me. You don't have to be scared of the future. You don't have to go through two year relationships and end them through fear of being hurt yourself when it gets serious. I truly apologise for pushing marriage and kids, those things can wait. You need to stop hurting yourself and me, and realise that we both want to be together. We do not need to go through this. We know where we went wrong, and we can correct it Stuart. I want to. Please don't ignore this. We love each other x I'd asked to meet to discuss stuff rather than over the phone, he'd said yeh but not tonight and that was my reply. Needless to say, he was mad. Told me not to text again that day. Said he can't listen to me anymore saying this stuff. I need to move on etc. I just text this, as I felt an apology was due: Hey Stuie, I left you alone yesterday as you asked. But I owe you an apology so I have to text. I was bang out of order to push my views on you about how if you see me maybe you'll want me. I was so wrong. And I'm so sorry. I wish I could rewind a few weeks to where we were on good terms, and you kept saying time will tell. I wish I'd have been strong and held off texts. I am just keeping my fingers and heart crossed that your holiday will provide you with the space you've needed and deserved throughout this. I have my first proper counselling session tonight. I'm becoming a stronger person and trying to heal, and when you return from holiday, this stronger person will be here waiting for you with so much more to offer, instead of a fragile mess. Xxx We were due to move in together two weeks after he broke up with me. There's never really been a reason, but from what I can gather, or what I've read in to, it's almost like he's scared of commitment. Moving in was too soon for him (we were together 2.5yr but spent 4-5 nights together, so didn't really need to move in to be fair). I spoke about marriage and kids a lot which I know freaked him out. I'm 21, he's 35. Maybe I did it thinking he'd want those things sooner. I just wish that maybe his holiday will give him time to think about all of this. I dunno. Any opinions appreciated, but please don't be harsh, I'm fragile.
Fufu Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I only can suggest you to take some time to read these 2 entries. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t276219/ and I hope you seek NC for yourself soon. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t276314/ To share with you my previous relationship story, I was with my ex-bf for 3 years. Bought engagement rings and planned to get engaged end of this year. I thought he was committed to me and when he said he wanted to marry me, I took it real and I believed. Last year October, he broke up with me. It's about 6 months now and I had realized people change, relationship change. It's not about what he had done for you in the past, it's about what both partners can do in the present and how the relationship can blossom and go through all ups and downs. Whenever 1 partner refuses to work things out, no matter how hard you try to maintain, the relationship will not last and you will not have the kind of happiness you want. Don't be too hard on yourself to hold on to something that is hurting you know. Let it go. And you are still very young. For your information, I'm 23 years old. If I'm not afraid to let go, you can do it too. Look forward in your life, it's your own life. Your ex made his own choice to leave, you too can make your own choice to move on and make your life a happier and better one. Don't put your life in hold for someone. You want to be actively chosen and not settled for.
JasonRules Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 At the weekend, I text him saying: How come not tonight? Please could you let me know when then? I really don't get you Stu. I know you're still in love with me. And I know you still want to be together. And that's why you have refused to see me for weeks. Because I know your feelings come rushing back when you see me. You don't have to be scared of the future. You don't have to go through two year relationships and end them through fear of being hurt yourself when it gets serious. I truly apologise for pushing marriage and kids, those things can wait. You need to stop hurting yourself and me, and realise that we both want to be together. We do not need to go through this. We know where we went wrong, and we can correct it Stuart. I want to. Please don't ignore this. We love each other x I'd asked to meet to discuss stuff rather than over the phone, he'd said yeh but not tonight and that was my reply. Needless to say, he was mad. Told me not to text again that day. Said he can't listen to me anymore saying this stuff. I need to move on etc. I just text this, as I felt an apology was due: Hey Stuie, I left you alone yesterday as you asked. But I owe you an apology so I have to text. I was bang out of order to push my views on you about how if you see me maybe you'll want me. I was so wrong. And I'm so sorry. I wish I could rewind a few weeks to where we were on good terms, and you kept saying time will tell. I wish I'd have been strong and held off texts. I am just keeping my fingers and heart crossed that your holiday will provide you with the space you've needed and deserved throughout this. I have my first proper counselling session tonight. I'm becoming a stronger person and trying to heal, and when you return from holiday, this stronger person will be here waiting for you with so much more to offer, instead of a fragile mess. Xxx We were due to move in together two weeks after he broke up with me. There's never really been a reason, but from what I can gather, or what I've read in to, it's almost like he's scared of commitment. Moving in was too soon for him (we were together 2.5yr but spent 4-5 nights together, so didn't really need to move in to be fair). I spoke about marriage and kids a lot which I know freaked him out. I'm 21, he's 35. Maybe I did it thinking he'd want those things sooner. I just wish that maybe his holiday will give him time to think about all of this. I dunno. Any opinions appreciated, but please don't be harsh, I'm fragile. At 21 you're speaking about marriage and kids? In my book you're not even a woman yet from an emotional/maturity point of view. You have a lot of growing up to do. This guy is 35 years old. It would never work out. He's in a totally different state of his life than you are. You'll mature around 28-32. By then he'll be almost 50. Aside from this, texting him all these messages won't accomplish anything. The more you text him the more his aversion for you grows.
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