prepb4 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I volunteer at an animal shelter, about a month now. Today they needed a volunteer desperately, so I drove 20 minutes out of my way to make it. I cleaned up all of the dog cages, fed all of the dogs, and walked 3 dogs. A total of 3 hours. Only one man was walking them. The volunteer coordinater came 2 hours later, and she did no menial labor just chitchatted and filled out some forms. One of the dogs has a skin condition and takes medication. The person in charge of her, the coordinator (I'm assuming), came in late and did not get to take care of the dog's needs. So I cleaned out the dog's cage, put her in the play pen, gave her water and a bit of her special food. It was already very late and none of the other dogs were fed. Then comes the woman in charge of 'her' dog and yells at me, "Why did you feed her?! I told you not to feed her! Go away!" Note: The woman told me not to feed the dog 30 minutes after I had fed the dog. The food was out in the open, enough time for the woman to see it laying there. There were no special instructions as to feeding on the dog's paper work. I did not say anything and left. My boyfriend said I should have straightened her out, i.e., "Listen,[name], seems like you weren't very concerned with cleaning this dog's pooped up cage, or taking her out for a walk, or feeding her, as it's already 8 at night. You should be grateful that I came in when nobody else came." What would you have done? Just let it go? Answer back?
ShatteredReality Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I probably would have said that I had already fed the dog when you made the request for me not to. I would have then said "Sorry if that was not convenient for you, if I had known where you were I probably would have spoken to you about it before hand - but the dog was covered in poop so I cleaned it's cage and just did what I could to make the poor thing feel a little better" and THEN I would have turned on my heel and left.
Author prepb4 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 I probably would have said that I had already fed the dog when you made the request for me not to. I would have then said "Sorry if that was not convenient for you, if I had known where you were I probably would have spoken to you about it before hand - but the dog was covered in poop so I cleaned it's cage and just did what I could to make the poor thing feel a little better" and THEN I would have turned on my heel and left. Thanks. But I think saying sorry to someone you don't owe a sorry to, meaning she's not my superior, will only put you in a position of subservience. It automatically tells the other person, "Your word is the rule." However, I do have wished I'd have said something wittier, i.e. "There were no special instructions on her chart. Am I expected to read minds now?" Know what I mean?
blueskyday Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 When she asked you to not feed the dog, you could have told her then that you already had. Otherwise, I would make it a problem of procedure..."There was nothing on the paperwork that said not to feed the dog, or I wouldn't have. I'm confused as to why that wouldn't be on there if it was important." I might also point out that she didn't tell me in person, either during the time she was there...so you would appreciate more clarity in the future. Bottom line you did a great job with the needs and information you knew and had.... "
spiderowl Posted May 5, 2011 Posted May 5, 2011 She was incredibly rude to someone who was helping like that. Yes, I would have stood up to her. It takes a lot for me to feel angry with someone but there was no reason for her to treat you like that. As long as you acted in good faith and not contrary to specific and understandable instructions, you deserve every respect. She is obviously stupid as she risks losing a volunteer. If she behaves like this with you, she has almost certainly done likewise with others. I wonder how many volunteers she has scared off. I would have told her I was helping voluntarily and that I had received no instructions not to feed the dog. The dog was hungry and needed attention anyway. I would have pointed out this is not the way to treat volunteers. I think I would have been tempted to report her to whatever authority was there too. I know how easy it is to be shocked and not react as you would have wished.
Author prepb4 Posted May 5, 2011 Author Posted May 5, 2011 She was incredibly rude to someone who was helping like that. Yes, I would have stood up to her. It takes a lot for me to feel angry with someone but there was no reason for her to treat you like that. As long as you acted in good faith and not contrary to specific and understandable instructions, you deserve every respect. She is obviously stupid as she risks losing a volunteer. If she behaves like this with you, she has almost certainly done likewise with others. I wonder how many volunteers she has scared off. I would have told her I was helping voluntarily and that I had received no instructions not to feed the dog. The dog was hungry and needed attention anyway. I would have pointed out this is not the way to treat volunteers. I think I would have been tempted to report her to whatever authority was there too. I know how easy it is to be shocked and not react as you would have wished. I don't think she gets paid to do the job, but she's a 'coordinator'. Yeah, if only I would have responded back in that moment, but when you're put on the spot, not everyone has the acuity to respond back with a smart answer. Thanks. But I've noticed that the younger 20st something people are more likely to play the submissive role. The 'coordinator' could be doing absolutely NOTHING and yet she criticizes everyone around her.
spiderowl Posted May 6, 2011 Posted May 6, 2011 (edited) Yes, I think one thing about being older is a gradual understanding that everything you were told in your youth should be questioned: - that no-one should treat you with disrespect and that you have every right to reject that behaviour - that if the rules are stupid or wrong, it is ethical, and even responsible, to ignore them (being mindful of the consequences) - that pretty or handsome people are not necessarily good or right - that people who are popular or talk a lot assertively and with confidence are not necessarily saying anything of value or importance - that there is no merit in deferring to authority unless you have no option or they are paying you and you really cannot afford to say no - that if something is bugging you about someone's attitude or the direction they are trying to take people in, it's worth saying something or you may regret it later (sometimes for their own good) - that if something is bugging you, your intuition is telling you something that others have not necessarily recognised - that others may not see the merit of what you are doing but that it could be their fear and limitations are the problem not what you are doing - that people who are in charge are not necessarily doing the right things - that people who are assertive and commanding can make lot of noise but may be saying very little of use - that some people have well-developed tactics that get them attention and make them seem authoritative - tactics that have served them well but should be seen through - that if someone likes you it doesn't necessarily mean they are right for you - that if someone is attracted to you it doesn't necessarily mean they are seeing anything but a body and so on ... Edited May 6, 2011 by spiderowl
SxB Posted May 9, 2011 Posted May 9, 2011 I volunteer at an animal shelter, about a month now. Today they needed a volunteer desperately, so I drove 20 minutes out of my way to make it. I cleaned up all of the dog cages, fed all of the dogs, and walked 3 dogs. A total of 3 hours. Only one man was walking them. The volunteer coordinater came 2 hours later, and she did no menial labor just chitchatted and filled out some forms. One of the dogs has a skin condition and takes medication. The person in charge of her, the coordinator (I'm assuming), came in late and did not get to take care of the dog's needs. So I cleaned out the dog's cage, put her in the play pen, gave her water and a bit of her special food. It was already very late and none of the other dogs were fed. Then comes the woman in charge of 'her' dog and yells at me, "Why did you feed her?! I told you not to feed her! Go away!" Note: The woman told me not to feed the dog 30 minutes after I had fed the dog. The food was out in the open, enough time for the woman to see it laying there. There were no special instructions as to feeding on the dog's paper work. I did not say anything and left. My boyfriend said I should have straightened her out, i.e., "Listen,[name], seems like you weren't very concerned with cleaning this dog's pooped up cage, or taking her out for a walk, or feeding her, as it's already 8 at night. You should be grateful that I came in when nobody else came." What would you have done? Just let it go? Answer back? "Putting her in her place" isn't a good choice of words, rather egotistical, it's more about just standing up for yourself and standing your grounds then walking off. Say: "I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU YELLING AT ME. LOOK, [express the truth of how you feel]".
SpiralOut Posted May 16, 2011 Posted May 16, 2011 I would have said, please don't yell at me, and then waited for an apology. If she continued to yell I would have asked her how badly she wants me to continue to volunteer for her. Actually I wouldn't have said that on the spot since I never know what to say until afterwards. But I think that would have been a good response.
Recommended Posts