MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 So here I am now pissed...I have been crying every single day since our break up...every single day begging this guy to give us another chance..and it just hit me today...I'm an idiot. This guy talked to women behind me back during our relationship even sent one girl a picture of his penis!! And I forgave him all that. And after we broke up...within a month he already hooked up with some girl who was all over him at a bar. And I still begged him...begged him day in and day out to give us a chance, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??? And so now he decided he can't be with ME....as in he's not ready and doesnt "feel enough" so it's been 8 days NC and....still I sat here crying wondering why he doesn't call me and why he doesnt love me...and now i'm just angry. Angry that I begged him..angry that I loved him in such a genuine way and his love for me was fake...it was trash. And for him to decide he cant be with ME..is just absurd. I'm pissed and it took a lot from me not to just text him all this...I just want to tell him off...or post something on my face book but nope I'm just going to wait. Wait til they day he does contact me and then I'll say F U!!! i hope that day comes soon cause I'm fuming.
Kodo Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 So here I am now pissed...I have been crying every single day since our break up...every single day begging this guy to give us another chance..and it just hit me today...I'm an idiot. This guy talked to women behind me back during our relationship even sent one girl a picture of his penis!! And I forgave him all that. And after we broke up...within a month he already hooked up with some girl who was all over him at a bar. And I still begged him...begged him day in and day out to give us a chance, WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING??? And so now he decided he can't be with ME....as in he's not ready and doesnt "feel enough" so it's been 8 days NC and....still I sat here crying wondering why he doesn't call me and why he doesnt love me...and now i'm just angry. Angry that I begged him..angry that I loved him in such a genuine way and his love for me was fake...it was trash. And for him to decide he cant be with ME..is just absurd. I'm pissed and it took a lot from me not to just text him all this...I just want to tell him off...or post something on my face book but nope I'm just going to wait. Wait til they day he does contact me and then I'll say F U!!! i hope that day comes soon cause I'm fuming. I'm not the best at this stuff, hence why I'm back here again. But I know I can listen and help talk. Maybe even help you understand why you did what you did. First off you're not the first to do it. I'm here because I took my ex back after she took off for someone else. So don't think you're lesser than anyone else. We're all "guilty" of trying to hold on despite what has happened. I personally think that we do things like this because you and I are the sort of person who knows a relationship has it's ups and downs and will do anything it takes to maintain it. Even when they say it's over, show it's over we'll still cling to anything we can. Why wouldn't you? If you were falling from the sky you'd wave your arms like a bird if you had to. There has to be something you can do. No living thing just wants to give up and do nothing.
Author MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 I'm not the best at this stuff, hence why I'm back here again. But I know I can listen and help talk. Maybe even help you understand why you did what you did. First off you're not the first to do it. I'm here because I took my ex back after she took off for someone else. So don't think you're lesser than anyone else. We're all "guilty" of trying to hold on despite what has happened. I personally think that we do things like this because you and I are the sort of person who knows a relationship has it's ups and downs and will do anything it takes to maintain it. Even when they say it's over, show it's over we'll still cling to anything we can. Why wouldn't you? If you were falling from the sky you'd wave your arms like a bird if you had to. There has to be something you can do. No living thing just wants to give up and do nothing. Actually my ex..he's a living thing and he wanted to do nothing...he chose to run away from us...and I feel stupid cause I even made him feel like he was doing the right thing...i begged him as though he was some kind of god...and he just up and left anyway...i'm so pissed. I feel so stupid. when i first found out he hooked up with that girl i stopped talking to him and he felt horrible...he was like dying inside...but no i didnt keep it just there i kept begging and begging and now he has no worries in the world. doesnt even care that he did that...why cause i made him not care anymore.
coltsfan1 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 your ex took a chance and now you both have to live with that decision. It is time for you to walk, and you have to not hold him to your standard. Since he is obviously not capable for living up to it. take comfort and know that the anger will wear off. You will soon feel indifference or even relief that such a cancerous person is out your life.
Flgirl44 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 If he thinks he's in a position to decide the fate of the relationship ( ie- whether or not to take you back) after cheating on you, then he doesn't feel bad. He seems to have a whopping case of entitlement. He's probably tried to manipulate you into thinking it was somehow your fault or you brought it on yourself in some way right? Don't feel stupid for trying to take him back or work through things. When huge changes like this occur it takes a bit for everything to settle and register. It doesn't make you stupid or dumb at all. The best thing you can do is ignore him until you could care less about him.
D-Lish Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Just stick with the NC, and don't break it- not even to tell him off. Delete him from your facebook immediately. Why would you want to see what he's doing everyday? It's so much better to cut him off completely, and by having him on your facebook, you're not practicing NC. What you're going through is normal after a break up. Put all the begging and pleading behind you- don't give him that kind of power over you, because he's not worth the energy. It's good to see you're getting angry, it means you are starting to put things into the proper perspective.
GrayClouds Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Like D-lish said anger is a good thing, it is the self's way of saying that you matter and deserve better. So let it out by beating up some pillow, shouting at the moon, or do some head banging to death metal. And then go do something that makes you smile, for again, you deserve it.
Author MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 your ex took a chance and now you both have to live with that decision. It is time for you to walk, and you have to not hold him to your standard. Since he is obviously not capable for living up to it. take comfort and know that the anger will wear off. You will soon feel indifference or even relief that such a cancerous person is out your life. SO true..cancerous that's EXACTLY what he is and was...he looks at me with this "loving" smile same smile he gives those girls he sleeps with..and he looks me in the face with my loving eyes full of tears and pain and says "I feel something for you but its not enough"....he's a pig. a cancer in my life that needed to be cut out. I'm still mad though that I didnt just stop talking to him after i found out about that girl...cause he felt so bad and i wouldnt have preferred he stay feeling that way with guilt. now hes happy
Author MyHeartHurtsOuch Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Hes not on my facebook...he deleted me last week day before we started NC....but i meant i wanted to post something on MY facebook cause all his friends will tell him...by the way I am deleting his friends and family including his mom which is gobba hurt but i have to
Recommended Posts