Irishlove Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I've been married eleven years. We are divorcing for multiple reason but mostly because all the things that come with alcholism. I'm also in love with a MM who is also getting a divorce. It's such a strange feeling to divorce it makes me want to cry. I'm 100% NOT in love with my H. I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for my children that I no longer love their father and they know this. I know things may go differently and I may not marry the man I'm in love with but it's time to divorce. Are divorces just sad even when it's totally over. I wish someone would love my H and I could leave knowing he's happy and loved. Anyone with experience?
sirweasles Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 (edited) All i can say is that with the om you have no idea how you feel about your h. If this is what you have decided to do then you need to make a clean break and be perfectly honest It is really hard when there is always that hope dragging you along. I can tell you from my expireince that it is only that much worse when there is another person. and the relationships with your children are hurt by you becouse of your sneaking around and defensive ness and by him becouse of the obvious depression this is causing some day I would like to here about sombody that was going through a restless phase and kept it together it is very easy for a woman to rehook up and hide the feelings with the excitement of the new. men on the other hand are considered preditors and the littleest thing is constroud as creepy. so I would suggest ending everything with the om and consentrate on making you and your H happy for a little while if it doesnt work out then make sure you are fully single when you devorce becouse it will help your conconcse and will eas his depression. also it will make relationships with your children alot easier. Edited May 2, 2011 by sirweasles
Meatballsmom Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 A WAW who married her MM. I have heard that story before. In fact that is the story of one of my co-workers. Yes, they are coming up on their 20 year anniversary and still have each other. But, that is all they have. Their now grown children want nothing to do with either of them and have excluded them from their grand children. Her second oldest grand daughter is about to graduate from eighth grade. But like all of her birthday's, grandma is not invited. The Christmas holdidays are the worst. In order to survive, if they can afford it they take a trip to Vegas, to party and forget. The only reason that they are still together is they can't afford to separate.
Author Irishlove Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 Everything went ok. We have the date to go to mediation and sign and have it over. Our children are informed. Both of us are educated so we communicate with them and ask questions and allow them to question us. My children also know my boyfriend and how it is going to take a good amount of time before we all move in together. I'm ok if I can not go to his family functions. Him having a life before me is part of it. He is welcome in my life. I talked to my stbx husband and he understands. Him and I should have been over almost ten years ago honestly. Just didn't have the money and was busy raising children. It will all be ok.
2.50 a gallon Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 The poster is bragging that she had an affair on her alcoholic STBXH. Bragging that she had an affair with a MM Bragging that the MM filee for divorce (i.e. she helped break up a family) Bragging that the MM is now going to marry her Saying that and her kids are going to be OK with this behavior Saying like this is normal behavior Which leads to several questions Why would a man want to get married to involved with a known cheater Also wonder who the alcoholic is.
UntoldStory Posted May 10, 2011 Posted May 10, 2011 I've been married eleven years. We are divorcing for multiple reason but mostly because all the things that come with alcholism. I'm also in love with a MM who is also getting a divorce. It's such a strange feeling to divorce it makes me want to cry. I'm 100% NOT in love with my H. I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for my children that I no longer love their father and they know this. I know things may go differently and I may not marry the man I'm in love with but it's time to divorce. Are divorces just sad even when it's totally over. I wish someone would love my H and I could leave knowing he's happy and loved. Anyone with experience? Irishlove, I get it. My story is similar but my STBXH is severely depressed (not alcoholic) and my xMM is still married. Will they stay married? I don't know. I'm out of that loop right now, focusing on my kids, doing everything I can to accept that I am truly happier alone than I was when I was with STBXH and desperately lonely, the sole financial and emotional provider in the household. Yeah, divorce is sad. Even if you don't have any hope left for your marriage to improve, it's sad. Marriage is a big deal, and so is divorce. Wish I had known myself well enough before I got married not to have gotten married. But I didn't. Did the best I could with the information I had at the time. HTH.
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