lostmysoulmate Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Please help me, I'm at a complete lose. I cheated on my boyfrend a few months ago. I know I made a massive massive mistake and I have cut off all contact with the other guy and any other men I'm not long term friends with to try and get my boyfriend back. He's broken up with me know saying he can't forget about it and doesn't love me like he did, but he wants to get that feeling back for me. Is there anything at all I can do? I no you probably don't think I deserve another chance but I love him so much and I want to make him happy again xxxxxx
silvermane187 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Cheating is usually a dealbreaker. Even if he takes you back he won't have the trust or respect he used to have for you. Consider it a lesson learned and don't do it to the next guy.
homebrew Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Please help me, I'm at a complete lose. I cheated on my boyfrend a few months ago. I know I made a massive massive mistake and I have cut off all contact with the other guy and any other men I'm not long term friends with to try and get my boyfriend back. He's broken up with me know saying he can't forget about it and doesn't love me like he did, but he wants to get that feeling back for me. Is there anything at all I can do? I no you probably don't think I deserve another chance but I love him so much and I want to make him happy again xxxxxx Yes there is something you can do... If it were me, I would hand write a letter and tell him how sorry you are and how you feel, that you cant imagine how he must feel, why you think it happened, what steps you have taken to make sure it will never happen again and tell him you are here for him if he ever wants to discuss it further and you will respect him needing time and space to work through it. Mail it to him... And wait! He will figure it out... I suspect he will give you another chance but you have to give him space and time!
Author lostmysoulmate Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I have written a letter explaining everything and to tell him what I'm doing to change myself and my behaviour. He thinks I have a history of cheating, which I don't. I don't know what I can do. I will do literally anything xxx
Author lostmysoulmate Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 I no ppl will say once a cheater always a cheater and what's done is done but I am truly truly sorry. I no I need to give him space and I know he still cares about me I'm just so empty without him xxx
homebrew Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 You sound very young... People make mistakes! It was a drunken kiss, not the end of the world. Me personally, I respect myself, the person I am with and the relationship by not putting myself in harms way, in situations that lend themselves to cheating and I certainly don't go get drunk when I am around people of the opposite sex if my GF is not present. Nothing good can come from it so why do it? Guess you had to learn the hard way. Take a couple of deep breaths and relax... It doesn't matter what other people say or think. It only matter what he says or thinks. What did he say? Give me space and time to figure it out. Why don't you listen to him and give him what he wants? Grow up! Don't hang around people that are bad influences, get drunk around men when your Ex is not present, be thoughtful and respectful of who you hang out with and where you go without him. You do that in the future, you will have no more drunken kisses and he will feel a heck of a lot better about trusting you and a future with you.
Author lostmysoulmate Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 No I'm not very young, I realise my mistake and I'm trying to sort it. I'm getting help for depression and for my paranoia. I've stopped drinking and don't talk to men that aren't long term friends completely whether my ex is watching or not. My ex says he wants to feel how he did about me before but he's not sure whether he can or not xxx
homebrew Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 If you chill out and be patient... He will come back. If you knock off putting yourself in dumb situations and be a great GF, all will be fine! He will see over time, that you really did learn your lesson and that you are going to respect him and the relationship.
rayne05us Posted May 11, 2011 Posted May 11, 2011 Well can I ask why you felt it was OK to cheat on him to begin with?
Author lostmysoulmate Posted May 12, 2011 Author Posted May 12, 2011 I didn't think it was ok. I had a complete mental breakdown to the point they were considering admitting me to hospital but I didn't want to admit I had a problem. I have since been taking anti depressants (which have recently been considerablly reduced) and I've been getting counselling for my own issues, since the abortion and prior to. Since this has been happening I have been a lot calmer, more rational and generally happier in myself. My ex and I have been talking a lot more recently and been meeting up and everything is slowly getting better so I'm just crossing my fingers hoping hell give me the chance to prove it will never happen again. Thank u for all your advice but I have realised that how pathetic and down I was feeling straight after the break up was something I needed to do myself. I've kicked myself into shape and hopefully its the beginning of a fresh start and a happy future. Thank you xxxxx
Woggle Posted May 12, 2011 Posted May 12, 2011 You can work hard to earn him back if you truly care. If that doesn't work you can not cheat on any future men.
rayne05us Posted May 13, 2011 Posted May 13, 2011 Wow, that does sound alot....at least you are taking full responsibility for everything (not blaming him and such) which is key to learning from all of this. It sounds like you're doing what you have to do and hopefully he will recognize it. Just remember for your sake (cuz you've been through alot) and the sake of the relationship, take baby steps. Good luck!!
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