ricky72361 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year and a month. Things started off well, but from the beginning I saw that she needed more affection than I did. We stayed together, fought through a tough summer not seeing each other as often as we would like. I always had a couple problems with her that I overlooked b/c that's my personality. There aren't many things that drive me up the wall. With her on the other hand, she hates noises, she hates the way I handle food(I tend to not care about stuff like cross-contamination simply b/c it's the way I was raised and it hasn't killed me yet). She would always flip out about the stuff that got on her nerves and did not and I still don't think she understands that you can't treat something like me touching a door with "chicken" hands the same way you would treat me telling you I cheated(I didn't just an example.) Well, this semester we're both finishing school, and we both interned from home which is about an hour apart. Anyways my internship was 20 miles from her house, so I would come over twice every week(did that b/c I was already driving 35 miles each way to work). Anyways, she would say stuff like "I wish I got to see you more," and on weekends when she would come spend the night at my house, I would ask her to drive and she would complain and say she already drove to my house. Which I started to resent, because she just didn't get that I had been driving all week. Anyways, we would get in fights that most of the time I didn't understand. She would complain that I wasn't texting her enough at work and I told her that I text her when I could, but I got busy sometimes. She wanted me to text her that I was gonna be busy. We got in a fight b/c she texted me something that I didn't respond b/c I was in a meeting and she thought I was ignoring her. Our fights were always over me not showing enough affection. Like not wanted to do dishes at her apartment after coming to visit her during the week. Or not wanting to always go to family functions(her family has a lot of them.) I told her that I don't really have a family like that, it's pretty much me my mom my aunt uncle and cousin at all family functions and the rest of my family we don't really talk to, so family things just make me a bit uncomfortable. She told me that if I loved her I would do these things. Then about a month ago she told me that she "didn't feel anything" when we had sex. We decided to try to work through it and things were going fine and Saturday we started kissing, etc, and the same thing happened. I just saw this distant look in her eyes and couldn't do anything. That was when we decided to break up. I think that was my last straw b/c on Thursday I was really excited about an unpaid internship with the Congressional Budget Office that I saw and I applied for it as a last resort job b/c I'm graduating and want a paid job. I apply to about 15 jobs a day and that was one of three unpaid internships I applied for b/c they looked interesting and if I couldn't find work I might as well do something useful with my time. Well, she flipped out b/c she wanted us to move in together by the end of the year and felt that I wasn't committed to it b/c I applied to those jobs. She called them stupid, said they were a waste of time, and said they were a dumb idea to even apply and showed that I didn't care about her. I don't get it, I still care about her, but I don't know if it's worth even trying. I told her I'd keep an open mind b/c she wants to give it another shot. But she doesn't know what she wants and honestly, I don't know if I want to deal with this ****. Somehow she's still making this out to be my fault and gets mad if I say she should think about counselling b/c of her being highly sensitive. She still "feels like we're together," and gets mad b/c I didn't call her in the last two days and said "You can call me too you know." I told her that I would still talk to her, but she still thinks that I should be texting her all day and calling her. This one's a doozy. Thing is, I'm not that broken up, because I've been thinking about it for a while. NOt to say I don't miss her b/c I do, and I will, and I still care about her, but for the last 2 or so months I've been mulling over ending it so I think my mind has processed it all already. Sorry for the wall of text.
Author ricky72361 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 Do you really love her? You made her feel insecure. I made her feel insecure? How?
Author ricky72361 Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 sounds like you are not compatible Yeah, I sincerely love her, I'm just so sick and tired of fighting.
Survivor12 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I think there's a good chance things could work out between you if: you give up on doing anything for yourself & twist yourself into a pretzel to become what she wants you to be OR you get used to her belittling you, criticizing your every move, and cutting you off from having sex with her. Seriously, though, despite whatever it is you see in her, you don't seem to be compatible. And, sorry to say, but she doesn't seem to even LIKE you very much...and certainly doesn't respect or care about you enough to want what is best for you. Make it easy on yourself and walk away from this one. Focus on your career and being the man you are and want to be, and you'll find someone who will love you without wanting to change you.
HeartsBroken Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 I think there's a good chance things could work out between you if: you give up on doing anything for yourself & twist yourself into a pretzel to become what she wants you to be OR you get used to her belittling you, criticizing your every move, and cutting you off from having sex with her. Seriously, though, despite whatever it is you see in her, you don't seem to be compatible. And, sorry to say, but she doesn't seem to even LIKE you very much...and certainly doesn't respect or care about you enough to want what is best for you. Make it easy on yourself and walk away from this one. Focus on your career and being the man you are and want to be, and you'll find someone who will love you without wanting to change you. Hi how I see it, you should concentrate in your career, but of course unless you are not willing to give her up despite all the headaches you face with her day in day out. She is not at the level of mentality or maturity where she can let you go and have the space to grow in your life. Give yourself the space and you will come back a better man. Don't be indulge in such a relationship that doesn't bring out the best in you...
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