hurley21 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 So, over the weekend, I somehow let my ex-fiance/abuser convince me to get back with him. We lasted all of about maybe 15 hours before he decided that my unwillingness to support him in his sudden decision to train in mixed martial arts and/or entertainment wrestling was #19 on the list of reasons he didn't want to be with me. I just wanted to confess my mistake in hopes that I'll learn from it. I've taken this guy back dozens of times over our nearly 5 year relationship and like the classic abuse scenario, somehow I've been able to forgive his cruel words and emotional mind- f*cks. I want to be done with this!
smudge21 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 You need to block him out of your life as he clearly knows what strings to pull and how to pull them. You recognise there's problems but are not strong enough on your own to change them, so maybe you should seek help from a professional source. It's hard to really say but until you change something in your life, this may continue to happen. On a side note, as an abuser of women, this guy would be best sticking to entertainment wrestling as opposed to mixed martial arts, as we all know abusers can't handle a real fight!!!
captured_butterfly Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Hey hurley21 I know exactly how you feel :-( Its VERY hard to not be swayed by the words that we love to hear. Ive just come out of a 7yr relationship 2yrs on/off and this time after he broke it off AGEN i decided i couldnt just run back because nothing changes, or it does for a few weeks then old issues start to rise again. Best thing to do is work on ourselves, and let our partners work on themselves without us there, they will either learn to change as this will be the kick up the butt they need or they will just move on to someone else and not learn anything, either way for us its win-win, we either get a loving partner who knows what they want or someone new who wont treat us like crap. When faced with this determination you will become strong, my ex rang me at 4am drunk and crying saying how much he missed me and loved me and how he hated himself, and although it KILLS me to see him upset, its being cruel to be kind and letting them know we're not taking the crap anymore. Good Luck and keep us posted :-) xxx
Author hurley21 Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 I am sure this is premature, because it is finals week in college and I am literally too busy to have a meltdown- but I am feeling numb. I find myself thinking about my future without him and being able to do so without having a panic attack, so either I am still in the shock phase or this may be easier than I thought. Haha- it is definitely the shock phase ; )
neverendingdrama Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 It does not get better. I used to get into massive fights with my ex. I figured I was tough enough to take whatever he could deal out. I also figured him tossing me around and me pushing back was an " equal fight". One day he punched me to the ground with his fist , after he tried to choke me. I went to the ER and than was arrested after I was the one who called the cops for help. I opened a door and it split his eyebrow. He covered his own ass very well and let me bottom out. You really need to do yourself a favor and go. If it ain't been working out , it's not going to start. You will look back and thank yourself. Do it for your mental and physical health. Good luck !
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