peezey Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Basically I got a text saying: "Sorry to bother you, but IDK if you still have my sunglasses." It's been a week since we've been broken up and I have kept NC since. I'm trying not to look so much into it. We've already given back our stuff, I am missing some things but have already written them off. I keep telling myself she just wants her shades back which are pretty expensive. I feel like if I respond I will have thrown away all the fighting I have done in my attempts not to contact her. Anyone?
ASG Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 Yes. She is interested in her sunglasses, not in getting back together. You have 2 choices. You either look for the sunglasses and get back to her, or you don't and ignore the subject. *YOU* need to figure out which one will be better for you and if contacting her, even if to say that no, you don't have her sunglasses will set you back too much or not. Most people on this board will say to not contact and stick to NC. But I think it's something YOU have to decide for yourself and, if you decide to contact her, be aware that it will be difficult.
Survivor12 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 It's one of three things. Either: -it's her way of making sure that you haven't forgotten her (which doesn't mean that she wants you back) -she really likes the sunglasses -a little of both Personally, I would get a box and mail them to her. No need to tell her...she'll find out when she receives them. By the way, if the reason for NC is to help you move on (and not a ploy to get her back), it works best if you block her from being able to contact you. As long as you leave that door open, you aren't totally committed to NC. I know it's not easy to take that step, but it really helps when you take away her power to blindside you and to get past the thoughts of "will she call?"/"why hasn't she called?". Otherwise, you are only prolonging the agony.
smudge21 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 If you have the sunglasses, then reply back saying yes and leave them somewhere for her to pick up. Be as single minded and cold as she's been by just answering her question and nothing more. Don't be around when she comes to collect them. Be busy, or at least say you're busy should she ask. She's more than likely just asking for something back, but it could also be a way to test the water - see if you're going to reply before she starts making more contact. Either way, just be polite and return her stuff. To not reply is a bit childish. Fair enough if she were to be asking about the relationship, but she isn't... not yet.
Author peezey Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 It's one of three things. Either: By the way, if the reason for NC is to help you move on (and not a ploy to get her back), it works best if you block her from being able to contact you. As long as you leave that door open, you aren't totally committed to NC. I know it's not easy to take that step, but it really helps when you take away her power to blindside you and to get past the thoughts of "will she call?"/"why hasn't she called?". Otherwise, you are only prolonging the agony. Yes my reason for NC is because she strung me along for two weeks with the I miss yous and I love yous only to be #2 in her life. I wish there was way of blocking texts messages and I've come to the conclusion that I'm not changing my number over one person. Thanks for the input.
Author peezey Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 If you have the sunglasses, then reply back saying yes and leave them somewhere for her to pick up. Be as single minded and cold as she's been by just answering her question and nothing more. Don't be around when she comes to collect them. Be busy, or at least say you're busy should she ask. She's more than likely just asking for something back, but it could also be a way to test the water - see if you're going to reply before she starts making more contact. Either way, just be polite and return her stuff. To not reply is a bit childish. Fair enough if she were to be asking about the relationship, but she isn't... not yet. I'm only questioning her motives because during the "break" she would ask a random questions like, "hey what's the name of that peanut butter?" Also she said that she could no longer talk/see/call/ whatever me anymore. So why give her that? I guess I could just drop it off and let her know where they are. Thanks!
smudge21 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 She sounds similar to mine but when we were still remaining friends except I was being a bit distant with her. Every few weeks I'd get a random text about nothing in particular just to see if I was still talking to her.
Author peezey Posted May 2, 2011 Author Posted May 2, 2011 so after staying true to NC, she texted if she can pick them up later this week. she strictly said she can't see or talk to me. i don't want to give in but part of me wants to see her.
ShoeGurl1973 Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I went through this with my ex - he sent me a nice email asking for his laptop back. I never replied, simply gave it to a mutual friend to deliver to him. Works wonders and shows you don't give a crap. i suggest you do the same. Especially since he wanted to come over to get it from me - after all he had said and done I didn't want to see that ahole in person!
Author peezey Posted May 3, 2011 Author Posted May 3, 2011 I went through this with my ex - he sent me a nice email asking for his laptop back. I never replied, simply gave it to a mutual friend to deliver to him. Works wonders and shows you don't give a crap. i suggest you do the same. Especially since he wanted to come over to get it from me - after all he had said and done I didn't want to see that ahole in person! i actually ended up replying that i would leave them in a box on her doorstep on my way home from work. she replied that no one would be home and she doesn't want someone taking them. she asked if she could pick them up "one day.." the day her and her loser ex don't work out? i honestly want to see her but i would be quitting on myself. how does the reply, "now that wouldn't be fair to your new boyfriend, would it" sound? maybe you guys can chime with something that would kick her in the ass.
smudge21 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Don't give her the benefit of knowing you're thinking this way by coming up with some vindictive reply. Just say okay then, they'll be there waiting. It would seem she's after a response, maybe wants to know how you feel about her. Well, tough. You're not going to give her the satisfaction, are you?
kbme311 Posted May 3, 2011 Posted May 3, 2011 Mail them back to her, signed delivery. Add insurance if they're really expensive. Get proof of postage. Best of luck:)
Author peezey Posted May 4, 2011 Author Posted May 4, 2011 Don't give her the benefit of knowing you're thinking this way by coming up with some vindictive reply. Just say okay then, they'll be there waiting. It would seem she's after a response, maybe wants to know how you feel about her. Well, tough. You're not going to give her the satisfaction, are you? yeah you're right. she also responded that if i did not want to see her that i can just leave them in my mailbox, but never gave me an exact day, just one day she'll randomly pick them up. i am just going to end up mailing them back. i feel like shes still trying to play games since she refuses that i drop them off at her place (which is on the way home from where i work). she would rather go out of her way and get them.
geegirl Posted May 4, 2011 Posted May 4, 2011 Put them in a box and send them off by mail. No need to tell her. This eliminates the opportunity for her to keep the lifeline beeping. This cuts the cord once and for all leaving the "sunglasses" a dead topic. If you hold on to the sunglasses, it will always be the door she can use to peek in to see if you are still there, whenever she wants.
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