mysticnights Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 I've been wandering this forum for awhile now but really haven't had the nerves to post my story. But then today, I just felt really confused about my own feelings and my ex's feelings. Here goes: It started back about 7 years ago when I met this girl in my church group. I haven't really paid attention to her because I really thought things were just going to be platonic and we were just going to be friends. Four years later, During the summer between high school and college, I flirted with her and I was just messing around. I really didn't think much about the things I said. I asked her if she wanted to date and see if the whole boyfriend and girlfriend thing would work out. I wasn't serious because back then, I was afraid of rejection so when it comes to relationships, I would mess around. Surprisingly, she said that she'll go on a few dates and see how things would work out. We planned for a date but we were both busy for another two weeks (she had to go on vacation and I had outing with friends). We decided that we will figure things out after two weeks. Two week past and I didn't initiate any contact with her because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date her. She called me a couple times and we talked but i was busy reading my book. I wasn't really interested in her talking about her girly magazines on the phone so the conversations ended quickly. I didn't really talk to her even though we saw each other every week during our church group. I was interested in other girls for the upcoming year. A year past and my church group decided to go on a beach trip. She was there and all the sudden, I had feelings for her. The night of the beach trip, I text her asking if she wanted to be my girlfriend and I got rejected outright. She said we didn't hang out enough and she doesn't know if she had feelings for me. I asked her to hangout just as friends and she agreed but nothing really happened and she pointed out that she only wanted to be friends. I was depressed so I decided to go NC for another year. A year later (January), we decided to hangout and we started "talking", but a month later, she slammed the breaks on me saying that she doesn't have feelings for me anymore. She said she doesn't have any reason for the sudden change of feelings, but through talking with her bestfriend, he said I was clingy. I decided to go into NC again. Near the end of the year (October), I was tired of this no contact bull**** and I wanted to just be friends and have a girl to talk to when i have problems (during the summer i had a bad break up with a different girl). We decided to meet up over lunch and catch up on our lives. I vented about my ex girlfriend to her and everything was very friendly. We text for a couple days. We went for awhile. Then we dated. A month later (November) we were official couples. We had a great time. Relationship was great. We had sex and I was her first too. She was happy with the relationship but two months later she stopped talking to me. Three days after the no talk, she called me up and asked to talked, I told her to come over. She drove me to a park and during the car ride we were laughing and having fun. I asked if this talk was about her being pregnant and laughed about it cause I already knew what was coming up next. We parked and she asked me if I knew what the talk was really about. I hesitated a bit but then said something like, "we're going to break up huh?" She said yeah. Then I was very chill about it. I wasn't angry or mad. I was just curious on why she broke up all the sudden. We were doing fine 3 days earlier. She just said she doesn't know and that she lost feelings in those 3 days we didn't see each other. I was then frustrated cause she didn't say why. I knew I wasn't clingy because she said that wasn't the reason. She just said she doesn't have feelings anymore. I decided to joking say that we should have break up sex and she said no she doesn't do it with guys she doesn't have feelings for. I just laughed. Iono I didn't know what to do then so i just talked about what went wrong but she wouldn't say much. She had to go home because she it was her curfew and I told her ok, I'll just walk home (takes about an hour to walk home from where I was). She insist that I should let her take me home but I didn't want her to. By then, I didn't want anything to deal with her. We spend a good 10 minutes going back and forth about her taking me home and me walking home. She offered to drive me half way and then I finally decide I'm done with the conversation and I open the door. She grabbed my left and was said "no! let me drive you home it's cold" and I said "i'll be ok and you should drive home safely. take care" and just walked off. After leaving the car I turned off my phone because I didn't want anything to do with her again. After getting home I receive a text from her saying that i should have at least let her drive me home. I didn't respond. I did two weeks of NC but caved in and text her. She seem happy at first but then she was really not the same. I pulled the same jokes that I did when i was in the relationship but she really responded unsympathetic about it. I went NC again. A month after the break up, I started dating again and got a new girlfriend. She's great. More than I could have asked for but the only problem is that she doesn't want to have sex till marriage. I'm fine with that but like in 20 and I'm not trying to settle yet. She is still my girlfriend to this day. Three months after the break up, my ex text me and asked me to go to a church group event that was planned by her little brother. At this time, I was not longer a member of the group. Just an alumni. I decided to go. Everything was cool I was doing my thing with my friends but my ex and I didn't really talk. We would only talk in a group but even then it wasn't comfortable. I would say something about the topic and she would say something and then she would start to talk her friends about it and it kinda left me out of the conversation. I just walk away and just hang out with some other people. I text her after the event to thank her for inviting me and ask how things where with her. She was really cold about it so I decided not to continue conversation. Three days after the text, she sent me another text saying that she think she saw me. I replied "ha. maybe" and never got a response. Today, a different girl asked me to hook up with her. FWB kinda thing. I told her I already have a girlfriend but she wouldn't do it with me. She said that if I'm up for it then she will be too. Sorry for the long post. But right now I'm really lost on my feelings. I REALLY like my current girlfriend. We get a long very well. I love my ex girlfriend because she is the only girl that really gets me. And summer is coming up and I don't want it to be sex-free. I want to stay faithful but the third girl has a really banging body. I want to get my ex back because she was a great partner. My current girlfriend really likes me and I really like her and I feel like I can go on a long term relationship with her. I'm lost. What are the chances that I will get my ex girlfriend back one day? What should I do with my upcoming summer. Someone please tell me how I should approach things within the next few months, I'm really lost.
broken-and-lost Posted May 2, 2011 Posted May 2, 2011 If you really love your current girlfriend you won't disrespect her by cheating on her, you knew about the no sex before you went in, speak to your girlfriend about how you feel and see if you can find alternatives that keep you both happy good luck
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